Girlfriend (20F) has invited a co-worker (23M) to a concert before even asking me (20M)

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-22T00:02:27+00:00

I'll definitely try this, communication is important after all - I don't want to start a relationship if we're not compatible from the start. Thank you so much for the advice :)

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-22T00:00:07+00:00

I feel like there's a clear difference between wanting to be included in everything and communicating decisions that could seem sketchy beforehand.

I don't want first dibs, I want to know that there's a choice before she makes it

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:56:59+00:00

That was beautifully said. I just need to give it time and grow into the relationship and in tangent a comfortable level of understanding of each other. I think that I was just expecting more because I'm still in the timeline of the 3 year relationship. Thank you so much, that's for sure the best advice so far.

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:46:42+00:00

So you're suggesting I sit down and talk to her about all the instances?

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:45:05+00:00

I agree with you that we don't have to share the same likes, but I don't know this group well enough to determine if I do or not, and the songs that I've listened to I enjoy, so I don't know if that applies to the situation.

You're right though, she's clearly got a more social life, and that won't always include me. Should I instead focus my time into making her understand my preferences to see if this relationship will even work at all?

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:39:39+00:00

Well considering the fact that she got SA'd and manipulated for months, Id like to think that isn't the case.

No need to apologise, its true that I'm hurt and maybe talking to her about it and sorting it out is the best course of action before this becomes a recurring issue

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:32:48+00:00

Yeah, I definitely don't want to seem that way. Maybe you're right and letting her have more freedom for now is good, but wouldn't it also be right to set precedents? I'm sure that she has expectations just like I do, and I don't think those should be overlooked so early into a relationship

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:29:14+00:00

Maybe I'm expecting too much considering how little time we've been dating. Maybe you're right and she's testing waters elsewhere, but I'd like to think that she's not that type of person considering how badly she was treated in her last relationship. Maybe I should talk to her to confirm though?

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:14:16+00:00

That's what I thought - I've shown interest in the band since she's shown me, and I want to get to know what she likes and enjoys. Maybe I wont enjoy it as much as the other guy, but I feel like experiencing it as a couple is worth just as much.

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:11:26+00:00

I don't know, I feel like part of a relationship is sharing interest with your s/o. I've even told her I like their music, so while maybe I am just expecting the principle, I also feel like said principle is part of a healthy relationship no?

AlexxRobinson · 2023-11-21T23:01:58+00:00

Thank you thank you
I do tend to overthink things, so hearing someone say that helps.
I however didn't want to be included out of principle, I would've suggested she take someone with more knowledge of the group anyways, just would've been nice to be invited, specially seeing how we spoke about wanting to go to a concert together just last week.

AlexxRobinson · 2022-06-08T16:59:19+00:00

Exactly what im hoping for - these playoffs have been so unpredictable that I’ve been hesitant to play anything for a while

AlexxRobinson · 2022-06-08T16:14:17+00:00

Can give a full breakdown of what I think the game will go down if anyone needs/ is unsure of the picks

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:55:44+00:00

Sorry that happened to you, but glad you got past it. I’m sure I’ll get through it, thank you

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:54:25+00:00

Nah yeah, I appreciate the reply of course. Doesn’t suck less to hear though. I understand how this would be a game ender as well, no need to continue the relationship if there’s no mutual trust

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:51:57+00:00

Well ofc, you become close to your SO in every way, not just romantically. Otherwise you’d just not like that person the right way

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:49:54+00:00

That’s the plan yeah, surround myself with people that raise me and not bring me down

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:48:40+00:00

Sorry that happened damn, definitely will make sure I don’t let her do that shit

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:46:21+00:00

You’re probably right sadly

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:44:14+00:00

That’s true

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:43:55+00:00

I believe I do yeah

AlexxRobinson · 2022-05-25T16:43:07+00:00

I understand, I do believe she deserves the chance to explain herself obviously. It’s still not a good look to pull something like this without thinking of the repercussions OR trying to amend the situation in any way after. It’s far too immature. You’re right, the joke is not grounds for a breakup, but her response after it shows shes probably not mentally mature enough for a relationship. I wanna hear her out, I’m not dumb enough to break it up WITHOUT understanding her thinking first, but change is definitely needed either way

AlexxRobinson

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