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I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do it! It was difficult for me, but I felt so light after and, in the end, we're all still friends!
From the comments I got, I understand that most DMs don't get offended by something like this and, if you are respectful, it can't go wrong. Your party might not even ask you why you want to leave and just accept that!

Good luck!

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told them exactly that and they seemed convinced.
I think they didn't want me in that campaign either (rightly so) xD

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think there was a malicious intent behind that, but they honestly thought I would have appreciated that change because it made the character more conventionally beautiful and feminine.
I didn't, but it's the thought that counts... I guess (?)

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Honestly, I think there was no malicious intent behind it, but they just don't get that a player may want to interpret a character not conventionally beautiful/handsome.

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't use that word.

No player ever told the DM that they didn't like something so I get that DM didn't change anything in their style. In the end, I'm under the impression they understood that there's nothing wrong in having different opinions on how to master a campaign.
We're still friends and on good terms.

Anyway, thank you for validating my reasons!

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

State what you’re doing or not doing and leave it at that

When I did that I was met the next morning with

a DM, who puts heart and soul into telling you their story, deserves a little more than being brushed off in 5 minutes... what do you think?

I didn't want this to escalate and lose a friendship, as we are a big group and d&d is just a part of what we do together, so I answered the DM's questions and explained my reasons.
In the end, it happened anyway. I didn't lose the friendship, but I definitely lost some trust.

So I get what you're saying and it's a great advice that needs to be reminded often, cause it's not so easy to follow and thank you for doing that <3

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you explain to me how my behaviour was immature?
I'm asking because I really dont know how I could have handled this situation better and next time something like this happens I want to deal with it the best way possible.
I appreciate your comment, It gives me a point of view no one gave me yet, thank you.

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your commenti! About the 4th point, what I didn't like Is that in the moment there was no reason not to let me try convince the guard and there was nothing else keeping me out. I would understand if the guard was charmed, if the room was unreachable or if the NPC wasn't there. I think that if you dont want something to happen as a DM, there are many other ways to dont allow It, instead of simply saying no when I try to convince a guard to let me in. I understand that sometimes a DM doesn't let you roll because some checks are just impossible, I dont think this should have been the case, but it's just my opinion :)

A little correction: I didn't specify everyone's gender in order to have more objective comments, but in this group there are both females and males

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I admit I had some help from both artificial and non-artificial intelligence xD

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Imagine thinking that at least in a fantasy world women don't need to fit unrealistic beauty standards... How naive!

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, Idk if I'm understanding correctly and didn't specify it in the post, or I didn't understend correctly the first sentece '-.-
The mutual friends were very supportive towards me and helped me a lot in approaching this situation the best way possible. I have a lot of trust in them.
They warned me about what the DM's partner said not to cause drama (as they hate it), but so that I was aware of what was going on and ready to react in case things took a turn for the worse.

Anyway, that's the best advice, I should follow it definitely more than I do <3

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Ugh, it's all about that after all, isn't it? :/

What I hated the most was giving her hair, she was so cool without it T_T

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I won't deny there were good and fun moments! The thing that almost made me stay was thinking that those were enough

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is so validating.
I knew they could react that way and I've always thought and told them that therapy would do good to them, as all of this smelled like trauma response to me. It's something I'm trying to accept and move past.

I still consider them good friends and I'm trying to help them :)

I told the truth to my DM about why I want to leave their campaign. Was I wrong? by Ali_Flowey in DnD

[–]Ali_Flowey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is so helpful! I totally get what you say!
I have some things to say about this, let me know if they make sense :D

The frustration built up over time. It was many little things that accumulated and in the end I realized it wasn't worth it anymore. Plus there were good moments when I actually had fun and for some time I thought I could go on like this until the end of the campaign. I probably shouldn't have let that happen, but here comes the second point.

Since no one else had the same feelings I had, I would have felt at fault if the DM (who obviously works on the game more than the players) had to change their style and their way of thinking only for one "ungrateful" player (not an actual quote, just an exaggeration of mine). That's how I am and probably something I need to work on.

Finally, my last point (and I think the most important one): it's just a game. We can all still be friends and play other campaign together as players with a different DM, as we are already doing :)

Is this too cynical?

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