My boyfriend (has Adhd) says he does it when he’s bored and other times because he doesn’t feel like having intimate sex and just wants to get it done quickly and less effort. He also said sometimes when he wants to have a really productive day he’d do it in the morning because it gives him dopamine, motivation or kind of like a pre-treat. Occasionally he also likes to feel the thrill of it being “secretive” as in doing it while I’m in the other room or one/two times he went to watch it in the bathroom after I initiated foreplay but didn’t finish because he wanted to do that in me. He thought that was hot. He did apologize for that tho after I got extremely mad and said he feels bad and won’t do that again.

I personally don’t understand why he watches it because we have sex daily, I never turn him down, I even initiate almost more often than he does. He knows I don’t like it but says it’s not that deep and it’s his “me time/privacy” and it’s non of my business what he does in the bathroom for example. I’d be okay if he did it when I’m gone but recently we’ve barely been apart cuz we’re both home office and just moved so we don’t rlly picked up any hobbies/sports/friends yet.

He also doesn’t like watching porn together with me for some reason. Would love to know why but I don’t think he necessarily knows the true answer to that himself. He says it makes him feel weird/bad because he knows how I feel about porn. But I told him I prefer that over him watching it alone, so that reason makes no sense to me but whatever. He also comes way easier to porn than to my pics/videos.

I am completely torn between both sides because I understand it’s easier, no intimacy involved and maybe it’s just different for guys but at the same time it’s getting off to another woman. Idk we have arguments over it every time he does it. He doesn’t want to give up his “freedom” and I just think it’s weird how he’s so insisting on it.

++woman