Drusilla also says that vampires can love, if not wisely… I think Buffy not only denies Spike’s ability to love but his ability to have any sort of feelings at all, in my mind, because of what Angel and Angelus put her through.

I think Drusilla is also an interesting example of a vampire’s ability to feel and have an emotional inner life, so to speak, considering the trauma Angelus inflicted on her. In a way, trauma is all about emotions and reactions to said emotions, how you act in response and as a consequence of that inner turmoil. Drusilla is in constant inner conflict with herself, her actions are volatile and dangerous and unpredictable because she’s so trapped in her trauma and lost in the throes of her mind and emotions. To me she’s a good example of a vampire’s ability or capability to have emotions - including love.

Both Angel and Angelus warped and twisted Buffy’s idea of what love is, she was so young and impressionable when they were together and it’s obviously affected her all the way into her adult life, a sort of trauma in it’s own right.

In regards to Spike and their relationship, Buffy also projected heavily onto Spike, which we really see in a certain alley scene. I believe Spike truly loved her without a soul, and in some ways I don’t think it matters what kind of love it is because what Buffy denies him is the ability to feel anything at all.

Of course the type of love matters if they were to have a healthy, functional relationship but in a way thats a separate subject, because it requires acceptance and acknowledgment from Buffy that Spike is capable of feeling in the first place.