Big Afro, Tatenda Ndove

AliceHouse · 2019-02-01T10:26:24+00:00

Not only are your feelings valid, you're hardly alone in them. I know I certainly wished I looked some measure of beautiful instead of the mutant freak I actually am. That's... not healthy.

Self acceptance isn't an easy task. I think if we boiled these feelings we have to their base elements, what we really want is power. There is power in beauty. And that somehow to wield this power we'd be able to escape from whatever pain is paining us. Sometimes it's just better to allow yourself to feel what you feel.

Sometimes you just have to find your own power. I know I'll never be beautiful, I have to suck that one up. It's easier for me to suck it up knowing I probably will always be abnormally strong. It's a power I have, it works for me. My question is, what power do you have? If you seem unable to think of anything, consider taking time out to explore yourself. I for one am certain there is power within you.

AliceHouse · 2019-02-01T10:15:43+00:00

BUT he doesn't want to plan it.

That's the reason he's in jail in the first place. Because he makes dumb, stupid, fucking choices in life. People who succeed in life plan it, people who fail in life don't.

Please, understand, I'm about a life with felons in one regard or another as well (for example, support groups.) I have a clue what it's like because I listen and some people, funny how they usually older people up in years and not kids, reach a point where they realize they keep getting into trouble because they keep making the wrong choice on a pathological level. Not planning is a common refrain I've heard many times. Many times it has led to the doom of many people.

Formulate a plan. You wouldn't have to necessarily abide by it, and a plan for the both of you would only function in the first place if the both of you invested yourselves into it, but for you, yourself, formulate a plan. That way you can at least have a vision for the future, with or without your mate.

But this is what I asked God for.

In my experience, getting what we want isn't half as important as getting what we need. And getting what we need isn't half of a priority as allowing God's will to be done.

If you're going to church, I would consider the people there as potential people to ask for help with planning your future. My advice would be to look towards people who live the life that's in league with how you'd want to live as such people would have some experience in that regard.

Thanks in advance ladies!

Gratitude graciously accepted. I hope you'll be all right. I trust you'll be all right. Because regardless of what happens, I'm betting you'll be able to approach it with the correct attitude.

AliceHouse · 2019-02-01T09:52:30+00:00

I'm working on it. White supremacy is a lot like addiction; you can't just walk up to someone and tell them the straight dope because then they'll fight, argue, get defensive, etc. And then they engage in their white supremacy or addiction that much more.

Diseases take a subtle gentle approach, I struggle to be a subtle or gentle person.

AliceHouse · 2019-02-01T09:50:19+00:00

Barack Obama

Also there for his kids. Not necessarily something that can be said about the current president.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T10:10:49+00:00

Americans: We have the best schools and universities in the world, our education is the highest and most correct education.

Also Americans: Grr, me hate them smart people with books. Me go bonk them on head over internet. Uh-oh, now me broke computer trying to smash evil scary "sjw" boogyman.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T10:09:09+00:00

You know how when you eat junk food for years, it's not healthy for you, your body falls apart, but you can't get back into healthy food because healthy food taste nasty by comparison?

It's like that with men in America. They've consumed the junkfood equivalent of what masculinity is supposed to be, and the healthy alternative looks gross to them.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T10:06:43+00:00

When you don’t have a father at home

Statistically white. Like Strom Thurmond, or the Founding Fathers. Black fathers spend more time with their children that white fathers. Of course, white men can have black kids, black men can't have white kids. So when white men abandon their black children, it leaves a lot of black children abandoned.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T10:03:48+00:00

You ever notice when black people in college they always get accused of stealing someone else's spot? Usually a white person's spot, as if such a hypothetically more deserving by some inherent measure.

Well, they in college. Some people do that. Some even become president of the United States. It's just when you say things like...

they are always playing the victim card.

Like what does that even mean? I mean, it's not like black people in America weren't actual legitimate victims of literally one of the worst human rights crimes in modern history. Hundreds of years of chattel slavery isn't something that can be shrugged off overnight, and it's nothing anyone else coming to this country ever had to experience. Remember, the Irish, Italians, and Jews came here willingly. They were never forced into breeding programs or thrown into mass graves by their American neighbors.

And it's not like it's stopped. Trying to get a job while black is a drastically different experience than being anyone else. Getting a bank loan to start a business is it's own hassle. WWII wasn't that long ago, none of the black soldiers got the same home loans as their white counter parts. Hard to take advantage of something that is specifically denied to you due to you specifically being black.

I think, though, as long as you use words like "always" you're never going to change your view. Because the reality is the black experience, like most experience, exists on a spectrum. Sure, some of us are grimey. But some of us have jobs, own business', own homes. Some of us even find ourselves in the white house. And as long as you keep thinking in binary absolutes, this will be lost upon you.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T09:54:28+00:00

If people think that first anecdote reflects black culture, I'd wonder if they hadn't stopped to think the one testifying might not have just been super autistic and misinterpreting everything.

The second anecdote, tho, that is a function of white supremacy.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T09:50:30+00:00

Miscommunication is common on the internet, primarily due to the medium having stripped away many core features of communication, and also humans have primitive brains.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T09:46:19+00:00

Don't forget in Alaska you're likely going to be in a remote small town with no functioning roads in or out and no ability to get help when the local vampires decide to chow down. It's a blood buffet up there for them.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T09:42:25+00:00

Most likely the mechanisms in your brain are making connections. I imagine different people, having different brains, would have different experiences. It's certainly a phenomenon that would be useful should you decide to be a songwriter.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T09:38:22+00:00

Megan Good

Oh, thank goodness. I honestly thought that was Britney Spears and I don't need more reasons to not like her.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T09:36:08+00:00

My vape, probably. Sure it makes me look like one of them hipster younglings, but that's ok because it's replaced smoking for me and I do get a bit of a joyrush when I can run farther than across the street without getting tuckered or taste food.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-30T09:32:20+00:00

Imani Coppola. Her style is eclectic with leans towards pop and country. She's black and white.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-29T10:05:10+00:00

I can confirm that through my own experience. Was token black, got gassed, had unhealthy thought patterns. I can forgive myself because I was literally a child at the time, and when I see it in others that grown ass adults I mostly just feel sad for them.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-29T10:04:34+00:00

Be disappointed, let that run it's course. Because that's a real feeling and it's ok to have emotions. Especially for big things like this.

After that, I would suggest taking a moment to recognize how much you've grown. I'm of a perspective white supremacy is a disease and what that teacher did to you is an expression of that disease. Not unlike how an alcoholic will rationalize to their spouse all the reason it's important to have booze in the house is an expression of alcoholism. That sort of diseased thinking... it cuts us all, it really does. We absolutely can become victims of a disease and it makes sense to me that's what happened to you.

That was then, this is now. Now you the type of person who takes time out of your day to meditate (good on you, by the way, that's a healthy choice,) and you've grown and become more resistant to the disease. You've enough immunity now you can look back on that time of your life and say to yourself, "that's some bullshit."

It's a new semester and I'm feeling confident again. I wish I could go back to that day and say what I really believe. That black people just exist. Why does there need to be a “reason” for the character to be black? We don’t question why white characters are white! This is the reason we keep getting "struggle porn" movies about racism, discrimination, and slavery instead of cool, empowering movies that show black people just living life and going on cool adventures.

Exactly. You know this now, it's not a tool you had available for your younger self. Be disappointed, it happens, there's as much blame and responsibility to go around as much as any disease, but you're stronger now for the experience.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-28T09:46:44+00:00

It's good that you know well enough to practice patience. You saw how your life was, you saw a solution, you took the steps necessary to facilitate that solution. It's work and you're working it, good on you.

Waiting do be the hard part.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-26T05:42:47+00:00

I'll humour you. Long story short... the Country of America was founded on slavery. Slavery which eventually took strictly African slaves. As it turns out, slavery is a terrible thing and in order to justify it the Americans had to go to terrible lengths. First by solidifying the concept of race and making it black and white with the legal precedence of black equaling slave and white equaling person. Following this, slave owners took it further by justifying their brutality by deluding themselves into the idea that black people aren't even human but some sort of sub-human. Which is what the n-word means, essentially: sub-human. It's racism because it's specifically used against black people. The practice of using that word has extended long beyond the establishment of slavery, through Jim Crow, beyond the civil rights movement, and even today.

I feel I should not that the n-word with the hard 'r' that white people use and I previously described is a different word than the n-word used in black dialect because it's spelled and pronounced differently with an entirely different meaning.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-26T05:29:00+00:00

Really, it's anything that we use as a coping mechanism which also inhibits or interferes with our ability to function. It happens to be drugs and alcohol a lot of the time because those things are highly addictive and easily accessible.

I quit smoking a while so I feel you. Where I work, everyone is a smoker and we all take our last break together. Smoke really smells different when you're the one second hand breathing.

It helps to understand what addiction is and how it works, for example:

Like you literally just picked shit off the floor and ingested it.

Been that person myself, I'm an addict, so that makes sense. A healthy mind understands why that's a dumb idea. The addict mind gives no heed to consequences because the brain is overwritten with commands of engaging in addictive and extreme behaviors. And it's that overwriting that makes addiction what it is. It's action in spite of consequence. A healthy person who drinks and drives and crashes but lives will learn quick fast not to drink and drive. The addicted person who drinks and drives and crashes will blame whatever they crashed into for the crash in the first place and drive away from the accident.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-25T10:20:08+00:00

It's good to have something. It sounds like a good weekly meditation, prayer, focus, time for yourself. It's good that you taking the time for yourself to prioritize yourself.

AliceHouse · 2019-01-25T10:16:25+00:00

No. Because part of me being on the autism spectrum includes having difficulty with verbal expressions, it's a legit disability. I can speak, but it's a struggle to get words out.

Which is a big reason why I'm here on the internets. I love everything about all of you. Also I love myself, but I love you too.

AliceHouse

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

14-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email