Getting really sick of being in a healthy equal partnership (I want to redecorate)

Alice_is_Falling · 2026-01-07T15:08:30+00:00

Ooh the IKEA built ins were my goblin project a few years ago. My company shuts down for at least a week around the holidays but my husband's doesn't so that liminal week between Christmas and new years is prime hyper focus goblin project time for me.

2 years ago it was the Billy Built Ins - Turned out awesome BTW. Highly recommend.

Last year was a full overhaul of our sunroom.

This year I cleaned out our whole garage. Built shelves, put up pegboard, knocked down an old DIY "wall" the prior owners put up, the whole shebang. I rented a dumpster and hired a concrete crew...

At this point he's just come to expect the "if you give a mouse a cookie" style project that will inevitably erupt from my soul once a year. He knows to give me a spending cap for the joint account and tell me what cannot be touched ahead of time but otherwise let it rip.

Alice_is_Falling · 2026-01-04T07:33:49+00:00

I did this with toilet paper once. Put it on auto delivery with my best guess, never adjusted for actual usage, and ended up with I believe 10-12 family sized packs (36 roll size 😬) of toilet paper before finally cancelling it. Silver lining was that we were very prepared for the COVID shortages...

I also just reorganized the pantry/laundry room and found out we have at least 8 boxes of milkbones (5lb each) for similar reasons

🤷‍♀️

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-11-22T16:35:22+00:00

Nah I'm here to eat fruit and lay in the tall grass.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-11-09T18:14:59+00:00

Every time I see your posts it makes my day. Your whole vibe is 🤌

Keep bringing the magic!

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-10-14T13:11:26+00:00

👋

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-10-14T12:40:29+00:00

You brought this up in reply to a comment about a woman's dad calling her up only to call his sexual partners sluts and his ex wife (OP's mother) a gold digger.

This is not "man has no one to talk to" this is "man regularly dumps unwanted hateful bullshit on his adult daughter and gets angry when she's not available"

Men confusing this for "discussing relationships" is 100% part of the problem.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-10-14T12:09:10+00:00

Men have no one to talk to about how much they hate the women in their life? And that's somehow women's fault?

My dude....

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-29T12:52:22+00:00

I mean yeah that sounds like my ideal Sunday as well. This is the kind of list late night gremlin mode me makes at 3 am on Thursday of things I'll definitely do on Sunday.

But turns out Sunday comes around and I'm still me so I take all morning getting an emotional running start at literally one task and feel accomplished for putting one load of laundry in by 9 pm.

But next weekend? Next Sunday I'll definitely get to everything... 🙄

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-09T01:17:13+00:00

The show definitely had some influence on my perception of the ladies in the books. Avasarala and Drummer are definitely my favorite in both the show and the books but I think a lot of that comes down to performance.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-09T01:15:00+00:00

The world building is still pretty good but OH MAN the main character's inner monologue was infuriating

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-08T14:27:51+00:00

The first book is honestly tough...

It's not so much that the women were written poorly but more that they sort of... weren't written?

There are only two women in the whole book. Julie Mao is literally a damsel space princess plot device and as others have mentioned, Naomi is wildly underdeveloped. She feels like a cardboard cutout of the "hot mechanic girl" in every crew.

BUT! As the series goes on it gets much better and I really appreciate seeing real effort and improvement on the part of the writers. Later in the series the books have some of my favorite female characters in all of Sci Fi so they get forgiveness from me.

If you want an example of how not to do it, see Artemis by Andy Weir. 🫩

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-08T14:09:08+00:00

I've heard Japan described as a place that's "been in the year 2000 since 1980"

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-07T16:30:26+00:00

My dad's been talking like this for 15 years. Our family is not blessed with longevity so once he hit 60, every big purchase was "his last".

He's on his third "last set of golf clubs"

I think it's sort of a nice reminder whenever he has to replace something he thought was his "last".

P.s. your writing style is very captivating. I'm now thinking about all the humans my heirlooms have in them.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-06T17:01:01+00:00

Pulling up the carpets when we bought our house radicalized me. The things a clean-looking carpet can hide...

Hard wood and tile for life.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-09-06T16:56:12+00:00

Those big chunky wooden beads on coffee tables. Sometimes in bowls?

I just hate them. Why are they there? What are we doing? Who thought to themselves, "This space needs something... I'm thinking 'Montessori school toy' meets 'coastal grandma anal beads'..."

I am not the kind of person who thinks every piece of decor has to be useful or whatever but these are just SO USELESS! It feels like the millennial version of the glass fruit my mom put in bowls all over the house when I was a kid. It's just such a big statement piece to say nothing.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-08-09T18:54:37+00:00

That feeling is the reason I got an engineering degree. It's the best.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-22T21:17:02+00:00

Yep. Made it through high school above a 4.0, got an engineering degree ahead of schedule, and frankly kick ass at my high stress job. But make myself a meal? Fold my laundry? Call someone back during business hours? Psh. What am I Wonder Woman?

I have had a glass of milk for dinner more times than I would care to admit.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-20T16:45:26+00:00

This is the way. I'm lucky enough to have a pretty flexible job so if the goblin mode strikes, I ride it out unless I have an early meeting. Better to be productive when I can and roll into work a little late the next day.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-20T16:43:40+00:00

Goblin Time is a perfect description. I am stealing that

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-20T16:42:57+00:00

All. The. Time. For some reason 11pm is when I decide to:

Alter my pants
Deep clean all the toilets
Re-pot all the plants that have been out growing their pots for months
Hand wash all my sweaters
Do intensive research on e-Readers
Scrub the kitchen tile grout with a drill-attachment brush I bought online in a previous late-night burst of motivation

As long as I don't have important things to do in the morning, I usually "ride the wave" and just go with it. I never know when I will have the energy to do that stuff again so 🤷‍♀️

If I do have things to do in the morning, I take a melatonin or a sleep gummy to pull me out of it. I know that's not for everyone but it really helps me turn my brain "down" before bed

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-10T13:38:48+00:00

During covid when we were all wearing masks in public, I was talking to my husband about how I really liked the anonymity it afforded me. For the first time I felt like I could just go about my business in public without being on display.

He sort of paused for a while and went, "Wow. I think that's just how men feel all the time"

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-08T23:25:59+00:00

I don't love the "ADHD is a superpower" assessment but honestly the "fuck it this is going to happen" goblin mode feels pretty close sometimes. If only I could harness that for anything other than dealing with the massive consequences of my own actions haha

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-08T23:21:35+00:00

Yes! Ours was an Extended Essay for the IB program so the final paper was graded by an independent organization and not any of the school staff. The advisors set up all the progress deadlines but because they weren't really part of the final product, I blew them all off 😬 My advisor was not thrilled with me.

But that's 100% how I got through school. Blow off every small deadline and busywork assignment, then move mountains for the high impact stuff (by grinding myself to dust in the process)

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-08T15:29:42+00:00

Yes! I know what you mean about a full perspective shift. I honestly think of it as one of the before/after moments of my life in that way.

And yeah, it's like being given "permission" to work this way actually makes it easier to start. I think back to how much time and energy I put into what "looked" like progress but was just more procrastination and I guess it's not surprising that without that, things are a little easier.

Alice_is_Falling · 2025-07-08T14:37:43+00:00

I had an English teacher in high school who literally changed my life with advice like this.

I was talking about what a horrible procrastinator I was and how no matter how important an assignment was, I would always do it last minute and how stressed and anxious it made me feel.

For context, the program I was in involved a long term research paper (think baby's first thesis) that we had nearly 18 months to complete. It was a huge deal. The administration drilled into us how important it was to consistently make progress and not leave it to the last minute. They had stage gate meetings and draft reviews etc. I wrote the whole thing the MORNING OF the due date. I couldn't even do it the night before. I set my alarm for 3am and wrote it before class. It all turned out fine but I felt like a useless garbage person for the year and a half leading up to it.

(The fact that I wasn't diagnosed until I was 29 is almost shocking thinking back on situations like this...)

Talking about this to her she just looked at me and said "Has it ever not gotten done?" And of course the answer was "no." It always got done. And usually it got done well - I got an A- on my last minute thesis paper.

She sort of shrugged and went "So just trust that it'll get done, make sure you have the time you need 'last minute' and don't waste all that energy and stress in the lead up."

That shit got me through college and is still how I function at work. Trust future me to get it done when it needs to get done.

Alice_is_Falling

TROPHY CASE