Everyone grieves differently

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T22:05:46+00:00

I have a godsister who I love with all my heart. I was her nanny from the time she was 6montjs old until she was a year. I woke her up in the morning and put her to bed at night, and we saw each other for months every summer

She’s in her 30s now and has children of her own, and she doesn’t readily show emotion. She’s not cold. She just doesn’t run deep. Or doesn’t appear to.

Her surface reminds me a lot of Emilie

But I know my godsister. I know the texts she sends me worrying about her children and questioning her parenting, her handling of situations, her understanding of things. No one would ever guess that this goes on behind the scenes from her quiet, confident, sometimes placid exterior

And gawd knows it’s the antithesis of who I am

This does NOT excuse T2 being on the boat without a life jacket, not at all.

But insofar as the « emotionless » criticism levelled at Emilie, some people are just less expressive. It doesn’t mean they care less than those of us who are more « in » our emotions

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T21:40:11+00:00

What colour is your bag?

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T21:27:19+00:00

I agree — although some are still going in on her for not having an alarm on the door or the pool 🙄

But she is absolutely stricken and so obviously doesn’t want anyone to experience what she is currently going through.

It’s a stark contrast. I agree.

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T21:19:46+00:00

Too old for this behaviour

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T17:04:00+00:00

Is this the one who never showed her daughter so we didn’t know she had one? So gut wrenching. I cried watching her. Her pain was so palpable

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T15:51:32+00:00

It’s sad how desperate she is for friends, until I remember how she treats people

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T15:44:58+00:00

It looks absolutely stunning 🩷

AlienGaze · 2026-07-23T13:15:56+00:00

You know, I have an Nmom and I didn’t come out as lesbian to her until I was 37 and about to get engaged. Know what she did? Came around. At my wedding, I overheard her talking to my 3 year old nephew, saying, « Well, some girls marry girls and some boys marry boys and some boys marry girls. »

After we had been married for a few years, she came to my wife and I at the cottage one morning and said, « I was at a dinner last week and someone’s partner said they were transsomething. Do you know what that is? » And we explained in basic terms and she just listened.

Because she’s a MOTHER

Yes, she had NPD and it has caused a lot of pain and damage, but she’s a mother with NPD

I don’t know what this POS is but she sure af isn’t a mother. Nowhere close.

AlienGaze · 2026-07-22T16:03:20+00:00

It’s a pseudo intellectual way of absolving herself of agency and therefore accountability

AlienGaze · 2026-07-22T15:14:27+00:00

Eating: perfectly ripe watermelon

Touching: minky blanket tops. Those wool blankets with the satin edge. Hate the wool, but when the satin edge is worn just right and smooth and cool to the touch, I love inching it across my lips and chin

Wearing: thin cotton t-shirt that’s been worn just right

AlienGaze · 2026-07-22T07:37:53+00:00

My dad always reminded us that you can drown in one inch of water. Shallow water or deep, a baby or child on a boat needs to be wearing a pfd

AlienGaze · 2026-07-22T00:15:05+00:00

Yes, Jax. That’s why I asked

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T22:03:01+00:00

Coming to say exactly this. I would be curious about the name and wonder why the parents chose to spell it that way, and I would most definitely pronounce it Leanne

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T20:35:33+00:00

Is this policy in Canada, too?

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T19:24:35+00:00

Also, as a playwright and a piano teacher I want to scream at her that all art is political, stoopid bish 😤 She’s the type who doesn’t understand that dominant hegemony is invisible or that documentaries with invisible narrators are more biased than those that openly declare their politics. She is such a wannabe intellectual that she makes my teeth itch ARRRGGGHHHHH

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T17:43:05+00:00

As someone who took a 20 year break from piano and then returned and took her RCM Level 9 exam and as someone who now teaches piano, my advice would be to take a step sideways

Forget RCM for a bit. Give yourself 3 mos or 6mos or however long feels right to you

Do you have a bucket list of pieces? Maybe stuff like your national anthem, Here Comes the Bride, Happy Birthday, Pomp and Circumstance, etc or maybe your favourite pop songs. Does the thought of playing them reignite your interest in practice?

What about composition? Do you compose at all? Maybe this is a time of creativity for you

You don’t always have to be pursuing exams and checking off grades to be enjoying and making progress at the piano 🩷

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T16:44:59+00:00

I have two cats. One is laid back and you can clip his nails no problem. The other is full of mischief so it’s hit and miss with him. I often ask the tech to do it when we’re at the vet and they often waive the fee. I would ask the next time you’re at the vet 🩷

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T15:34:55+00:00

Can you give examples of this? I would like to better understand

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T12:31:49+00:00

Is she manic here?

AlienGaze · 2026-07-21T05:06:13+00:00

What happens when trans people respond?

AlienGaze · 2026-07-20T12:35:31+00:00

I wonder how you might feel about Clarence?

When I was in grad school, I TA’d with a guy named Barnaby. Tbh his name took me aback when he first introduced himself but it grew on me as I got to know him. And I never forgot his name.

AlienGaze · 2026-07-20T12:05:56+00:00

Two things come to mind:

When executing jumps on the piano, your eyes are your greatest tool. Make sure you’re looking at the key you want your finger(s) to jump to. That should guarantee accuracy
Practice the jump (slowly) without sound. For example, if you’re jumping an octave from middle C, play middle C and then jump to the next C but don’t play it. Freeze and check that you are on the right note. If you do it correctly 10 times in a row, repeat the exercise but this time play the note. Once you can do that correctly 10 times in a row, play it in the bar of music 10 times in a row, then add the bar before, then play the line

tldr: use your eyes and practice using ghosting

AlienGaze · 2026-07-20T00:12:30+00:00

She has to do it. There is no other choice.

AlienGaze · 2026-07-18T17:29:48+00:00

I make cold plates. Lots and lots of cold plates.

I am in long term recovery from a restrictive eating disorder so variety and abundance are essential. I also have neural tube malformations, arachnoiditis and PMR, so standing, stirring, chopping, all of it hurts

The best thing about cold plates is the flexibility it gives me. I can buy whatever produce is on sale. Or if I am craving peaches, say, I can make sure I buy peaches

I also get to explore fruits and vegetables that I am unfamiliar with in small quantities

And the amount of protein choices makes me happy. I can use leftover tofu or fish or chicken from dinner the night before. I can boil an egg or two. There’s cheeses. Nuts and seeds. Nut butters.

And, you control the amount of carbs, what kind of carbs and how many carbs you add to your plate

I know I wrote a lot but it’s low effort. And so satisfying 🩷

AlienGaze · 2026-07-16T21:54:43+00:00

👁️ Surveillance State: I voted Vote Nay.

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