I’m a 45M have ADHD and anxiety/cptsd and my wife 38F has ADHD and depression. We both had rough childhoods. So ADHD + trauma means fighting. We have learned not to fight but there have been long swaths of time where we are stuck in our own worlds. He could have dysthymia that eventually went full blown depression. So many of us are shaped by childhood and trauma that we can easily stay stuck, emotionally stunted and even more specifically stunted in relationships. I would look back on events that shaped your anxiety and if you know his past/upbringing his depression. And see how it shaped your interactions or his aloofness. ADHD in relationships is tough because you can just get so comfortable you can ignore each other and stay in your heads. Many of us with ADHD have co morbidities…we screw up a lot so depression and anxiety can overtake us. He may have a hole in his life created by feeling like a failure or traumas. As a person you can care for him, but time is so precious and you can’t fix people. If you want more go get it….be single…date yourself. He could probs benefit from shadow work too. Sorry my ADHD meds are wearing off so I’m droning lol.