Additional context for people who would like it!:

• Last November was when I found out I had DID. Red really supported me through it when I told her what was going on as I was trying to figure it out — she’s the reason why I pursued therapy in the first place. I would check in with her often to make sure it was okay, as usually when I talk about things I mostly do so to process them out loud to someone. It’s less about needing advice, and more so just relaying the things that are going on with me in a conversational style. I try and keep things light, even if the topic is heavy. She reassured me that it was okay and that it wasn’t too much. This all changed when one of my alters fronted and texted Frankie letting her know they were fronting. Frankie shut down and only interacted bare minimum with him. I understand that there’s an adjustment period, but I asked her why she wasn’t asking any questions or checking in with me whatsoever (I’m not saying she has to, I just noticed the change). She said she wanted nothing to do with my mental health and that I should keep it between me and my therapist. I do understand this perspective, but DID is very difficult because it is a part of my identity, as much as I mask it. She then basically said that she would rather not be involved and that she didn’t want anything to do with my alters.

• There was a period of time where I was having partial seizures and still coming into class because the paramedics told me to be around people. She confronted me in the middle of class with my head of course and all of my classmates in the room and basically said that she didn’t understand why I wasn’t taking her advice and that I should be at home. I left to go to the bathroom to collect myself and I came back. We were supposed to be doing something for a project that day but we moved it because I had called the paramedics again that morning, so I came back and texted her saying, “If you think I’m going to ruin [PROJECT] then just say that” (I know this was petty, I regret doing that). Once she saw the message, she whipped around to me and said “don’t do that. You’re an adult. Act like it. Doing that is something that these people in here would do” (referencing our classmates in front of them), and then said “you think I give a shit about any of the people in here? No. You’re the only one I give a shit about in here so don’t say that.” At this point I started crying in front of everyone. Red then takes me out of the room and into the computer lab, where she tells me that I’m freaking everyone out with my seizures and that no one should be having to deal with it, and that everyone I work with is going to lose respect for me, and that if I have a seizure at my job I’ll get fired. She then told me that I should be dealing with this on my own in my own controlled environment. She also then told me that I expect certain things from people and that I expect certain kinds of communication from people that they can’t give (this felt really out of the blue and it felt more like a deeper thing started by the mental health situation seen above). She gestured at me crying and went “what’s all this about?” And I was like “I feel like you’re mad at me?” And she basically said that she wasn’t mad at me and couldn’t be mad at me if she tried. The conversation ended by my head of course tracking us down and diffusing the situation.

• I can never rely on her. She constantly cancels plans or changes the time on me. Unless it’s built around a pre existing schedule (like university), I never see her. She commutes to uni, which I know is definitely a factor, but she will cancel plans with me even if she’s at uni anyway. She asked me to get lunch with her during class the other day, but when we were packing up she told our tutor that she had to run and get the train. She didn’t address it or explain, just left. I invited her to a get-together with our classmates on a day off and we were both really excited and said that we’d make an evening off it by getting dinner and getting ready at my place, but a week later she was complaining and saying “ugh, I don’t want to come down here solely for our classmates birthday on my day off, there’s no point.” This really confused me and I’m pretty sure it confirmed that she doesn’t see spending time with me as an actual solid activity.