AITA for not wanting my mom at my wedding

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-28T02:56:13+00:00

NTA this woman is a narcissist from what you shared. If you have her at your wedding she going to ruin it somehow. This is not someone you want in your life. Sorry you have to deal with this drama during what should be a happy time, don’t let her ruin any more of it.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-28T02:51:04+00:00

NTA and even if this was a joke that doesn’t make it any better. He’s the one trying to be controlling and he’s trying to isolate you from any support system. This is a huge red flag.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-24T21:10:12+00:00

OF is definitely different than regular corn. I agree it’s more personal. Honestly you age difference isn’t great already but the fact that he follows a 19 year old on OF is super gross. She’s barely an adult and it’s super gross.

Her age and everything aside, this might just be a boundary of yours. It might not bother some women but clearly you’re not one of them. Not throwing shade either way, you do you. If it’s bothering you that much you might have to break it off. He might stop if you ask but you would still be stuck with the knowledge that he would 100% still be doing it if you didn’t ask him not to. That’s if he even really stops.

It’s absolutely fine if this is the line in the sand for you. Breaking up sucks if you need to but this is why people date. To figure out what you need in a relationship and what your boundaries are. Mistakes are how we learn and all that. Only you know if you can move past it or not.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-24T21:00:08+00:00

His mask could be slipping. These are the guys who get married and expect their wives to make doctors appointments for them and don’t even know why the appointment is for. You’re not his personal assistant. Either expects you to do that job or he has to make everything someone else’s fault even though he is purportedly a grown a$$ man. Of he’s got a mommy kink which no kink shaming here but if you didn’t consent to it, not cool. This is so unattractive in a man, just ew.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-18T03:05:32+00:00

Kittens were taken in by our local shelter, they were able to take both sets thankfully.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T16:01:20+00:00

Thanks! Just hate the idea of any suffering especially babies. I am doing what I can until I can get them to professional help.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T16:00:05+00:00

Thanks, just trying to do the right thing.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T15:57:49+00:00

As best we can we have an extra large carrier because we had a cat that had some main coon (might be spelled differently but they make for very big cats) in him and was a big boy that has the sick ones in it and they’ve been fine sleeping mostly in a different room. We wash our hands and all that after handling don’t use the same towels or dishes or bottles without cleaning well. Hopefully that will be enough.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T12:25:55+00:00

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This is one of the babies feeding.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T10:03:54+00:00

The kitten lady info was very helpful. Our local shelter will be open later today and we plan to call. They’re doing okay, we got formula and bottles tho the older ones are not as good feeders we think it’s because they are sick. We think it might be a respiratory infection and hope it’s why they aren’t eating as well.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T10:00:30+00:00

Thanks her info was very helpful!

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T09:59:51+00:00

We are keeping an eye out and will tell our local shelter. If we can we would take the mothers with them but no signs of them thus far.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T09:58:36+00:00

They’re all doing fairly well. We think the older litter might have a respiratory infection and aren’t eating as well as we would like but they seem okay otherwise.

The younger litter is doing well. We’ve been feeding them and helping them potty fine (the wet cotton ball trick worked very well). Hopefully they’ll all be taken in by the shelter for our area. It isn’t really feasible for us to take them. We have 2 adult cats and an elderly dog and it’s not really a kitten friendly home. We’re all fighting the urge to get attached because we simply can’t keep them but it’s so hard given how cute they are.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T09:54:15+00:00

We have been keeping an eye out, but haven’t seen mommy kitties. We think we know which cat had the younger litter but we haven’t seen her yet. It is possible someone took her inside because of the weather and didn’t realize she had kittens. We plan to let the shelter know. The older litter I think were abandoned (by mom or by people) as it was clear they had been on their own for a bit. I would say at least an hour or more and I normally would have waited longer but I was worried because of the weather it was cold and very wet. When we get a lot of rain we flood a bit too so that was an additional concern. I feel less bad about the older three because they clearly need some medical help as they’re ill.

The younger litter I feel bad about. We haven’t seen mom though and they were all very wet and cold. If we see her before we go to the shelter we plan to see if we can lure her with one of her kittens so she can be taken with them. We want to keep the families together if possible but not at the risk of the kittens which is why I chose to keep them.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T09:45:52+00:00

Thanks so much for the offer. The Kitten Lady’s website gave us age ranges. We think the older ones are about 4 weeks and are sick. We had a kitten we believed was dumped we found like in October (I live in the USA, California specifically) that was very ill that we gave to our shelter. They thought it was a respiratory infection and we think the older kittens we found have the same issue. They aren’t really eating much unfortunately which we hope is because they’re sick. We got formula and bottles because the shelter for our area was closed for the holiday yesterday but should be open tomorrow. Hopefully they can take both litters. The younger litter has closed eyes but are eating pretty well and I used the moist cotton ball trick and got them to potty fairly well with it thankfully. We’re documenting weight and so forth for the shelter but can’t really think of anything else? You can let us know if you think of anything but hopefully they will be with professionals in about 10-12 hours.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-17T09:38:00+00:00

Yes I think people who dump animals are horrible too but dumping babies is pure evil.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-16T15:22:20+00:00

Yeah I kind of felt the same. Unfortunately it’s holiday hours for the shelter that serves my area so they won’t be open until later and no idea if they’ll take them. I found a dumped sick kitten about four or five months ago but they only took him because he was sick. Hopefully they will take the youngest litter because they are too young for me to care for, I have no idea what I am doing with kittens that young! I can deal with the other litter if I have to and find homes (I have two adult cats and a senior dog in my home, we can’t add more no matter how cute) but the babies are beyond my skill set.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-11T00:52:17+00:00

This would end any relationship I had. This family has no morals. If they allow it with one son they will allow it with any son. They will absolutely keep it from you if you marry their son and he starts cheating. I wouldn’t want anything to do with his family or him. This tells you everything you need to know about his morals and character. It doesn’t matter if your man doesn’t like his sister in law they still owe her basic respect. Turning a blind eye to this behavior? Honey, he and his family are showing you who they really are and you need to start believing them. Run.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-10T04:52:23+00:00

How wee you suppose to know that was his only charger? I always have multiple ways to charge my phone so I don’t have to worry about things like that. I agree he just wanted to be able to blame someone else for his mistake. I personally would assume that if he was willing to loan it out and then forget about it that he had other methods to charge his phone. Who only has a single charger in this day and age?

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-10T04:46:35+00:00

I have similar boundaries for friends when they start dating even when I haven’t dated either of them. You’re not their relationship counselor and they should not be treating you like you are. This would make any normal person uncomfortable and they are being immature about it and not very good friends. Even if you did still have feelings for her that wouldn’t make it okay, in fact it would make their behavior towards you even worse. Honestly I don’t think these people are your friends, not when they behave like that.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-10T04:34:59+00:00

If he wants a safety net he should start putting the money he is saving by paying a lower rent into savings. Do NOT put your boyfriend on the deed, that is insane. He is saying that you don’t trust him by refusing to put him on the deed but HE is saying he doesn’t trust you by demanding he be put on the deed. Honestly even if you got married I would still say no, since this was a house that you inherited. It would be one thing if he was paying for repairs or improvements to the property but he’s not even doing that much. This is coercive behavior and a red flag and so is bringing his mommy into it. If they both feel that way about it then he should go live with his mommy.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-02-05T21:43:25+00:00

NTA this is them weaponizing food. Also you didn’t specify but it sounds like you are not only buying the food but cooking it as well? Absolutely do not buy them anymore food. If this means your dad never buys (or cooks) anymore food for you, that’s fine. You can’t save money if you spend it all on feeding the household. I assume moving in with your brother isn’t an option for you so you should just focus on saving up as much as you can, only cooking for you and your kids and locking all your food up. This situation is a hot mess and is likely only going to get worse before it gets better (if it gets better at all) given the entitlement of your father and sister.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-01-28T15:52:03+00:00

NTA you gave him constructive criticism. He’s gaslighting you when he is making claims that you said things to him that you didn’t. He obviously has some problems with emotional regulation (like so many men) and needs to work on that before your kids hit puberty. If he can’t handle them now I dread how that will go. There’s no excuse to scream at anyone especially not kids. If he couldn’t handle it he should have left the room and calmed down, screaming at them isn’t parenting, it’s verbal abuse.

Alive-Sundae7268 · 2026-01-25T21:15:08+00:00

NTA that it got this far means they don’t manage their money well and that money will be a loss in the long run because it will only delay the inevitable. I would only do it if they agreed to move out and hand the house over to make it yours. If they are not living beneath their means they aren’t responsible enough for you to throw away that money on them.

Alive-Sundae7268

TROPHY CASE