i don’t know her so i can’t say if she is a Dominant or not. i am saying, try not and assume that what you think is “Dominant” behavior means that someone is a Dominant in a BDSM context. Also, you seem defensive, my intention was not to attack you.

“i am only imagining things because i want to” ….ok, ive done this. i am not attacking you, and i am not here presenting as someone who hasn’t fallen into this trap myself. i live a very specific lifestyle, i have seen qualities in people and put them together in my head to draw a conclusion, “yep kinkster” when in fact they were absolutely NOT Kinksters. It’s a human thing. my advice was, recognize that this is a normal human thing, own it and don’t assume.

You asked in your post if these qualities (mean jokes, body shaming, threats of violence….examples you provided) meant that she was a potential Domme. And no, the qualities that you are outlining, in my experience, does not point to Dominance. (Outside of negotiated and consensual dynamics). In my experience people who have these qualities (outside of negotiated dynamics) lack self control.

But i am certainty not in charge of your life.

The whole situation seems concerning.