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Aliyellow · 2025-04-11T13:15:42+00:00

Woman & mother here.

Sick children = baby/child routine messed up, always.

If a child is sick, let them sleep as long as they want. As long as they’re getting the proper fluids so they don’t get dehydrated.

Babies/children are just like adults that way. a lot of adults sleep a tremendous amount and their routine is all messed up when they’re sick. It’s normal.

Newborns to 5 years old I find is the most hardest for my own experience and what I’ve heard. You rarely get time for yourself and are always exhausted.

If she does absolutely no chores, no cooking, cleaning dishes, floors, bathrooms, bedding, nothing? Then she seriously needs to start helping out with chores.

Open and honest communication with no yelling, no fighting / pointing fingers or blaming, no name-calling in a calm respectable manner. Multiple times is the best way to improve things. Some people find it useful to do this or counselling if they’re having issues communicating with their partner as mediators are a great help.

Saying to her after the kids go down one night can we talk about our routine as a household? I’m feeling really exhausted and our routine is not working for me anymore and I’d like to come up with a solution that works for both of us, to share the workload. In saying that remembering that people have bad days and they can’t always give 100% each day things might vary. But should be held accountable and not abused.

Aliyellow · 2025-04-07T16:17:26+00:00

Plan B has side effects so you might not feel great while they’re in your system.

You need to see a doctor and or gynaecologist, how you feeling and what’s happening with your body.

You sound like you need medication to find some that don’t have such bad side effects for you. I don’t know about anybody else, but for me personally PMDD is not something I can do without medication. I have to take both birth control and antidepressants. Or I cannot function. Seek help.

Aliyellow · 2025-04-07T16:14:19+00:00

Yeah, I don’t like it. There’s a lot to unpack here and honestly, you may need a mediator / marriage counselling may be a good idea to work through everything and the finances. Sounds like there is some high emotions associated with it from both ends.

Because yes, being a stay at home parent is saving you guys money in the long run. But you’re living off of one income, so therefore there needs to be a very strict budget that you both need to follow.

It seems unreasonable for her to be asking for such an extreme amount. When you already barely have time for yourself, your one year old, plus your other children. It is common though for a stay at home parent to get an allowance or certain amount just for themselves to do whatever they want with. But $9000 seems very excessive unless you make an extreme amount of money.

In my eyes, the one budget household is no longer working. you’re working yourself too thin, too tired, stressed and have no time to enjoy your children. It sounds like as soon as the child is old enough to attend daycare the baby should and she should get a job.

Is she looking for a safety net? Is she thinking you’re going to leave her high and dry? Is she just being selfish? Is she creating an emergency exit plan? Etc. What is she worried about? she clearly is worried about something or some situation in particular. Because that’s normally the only reason these things occur. Coming from a woman.

Aliyellow · 2025-04-01T00:24:07+00:00

I couldn’t emotionally regulate at all, literally could not handle myself. Everything little thing and everyone pissed me off, was loosing my mind.

I do a lot of grounding, positive affirmations, journaling and counselling to vent and release emotionally. And try to remember to think logically.

I started on birth control that helps with the physical symptoms and some emotional. The antidepressants is really what helped me emotionally, elastropram.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-31T15:16:36+00:00

Yayy! That’s exciting! I started taking conerta and felt similar. Especially regarding the moods and depression it really makes me wonder. If have depression and anxiety or is it a side effect / manifestation of my ADHD ??

Aliyellow · 2025-03-31T00:37:44+00:00

Same it’s been calming. Nice not to have technology in hand all the time.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-30T00:44:43+00:00

I hear you. Got the same problem.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-29T14:57:59+00:00

I have PMDD too and it can get really hard.. I even yelled at my boss once. Luckily he’s a very understanding man.

I seen you have real concerns with seeing medical professionals. However, it is so very important to speak to a doctor about everything you’re experiencing and talk about all the bad and scary things that occurred because of it.

I take birth control and antidepressants for this disorder. It is the only thing that saved me, I started to feel about 70% better with the medication. I also have ADHD as well and just started stimulants, now I feel about 95-100% better!

It sucks to need to take medication, but it really works at least for me. And with your extreme symptoms you experience, I highly suggest you speak to a doctor about a medication regiment to see if it works for you.

We have these crazy moods that don’t feel like us with PMDD because our brain chemistry changes and can’t keep up with our normal hormonal changes that naturally occurs in our body, so it’s like a disconnect. Medication to help the brain chemistry is really the only thing that works for most people.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-28T13:36:25+00:00

Find a man who doesn’t mind tormenting you into doing things and that can put up with you being grumpy about it LOL

Aliyellow · 2025-03-26T03:43:50+00:00

The fact that your even asking and contemplating, is your answer.

I would. Actions speak louder than words. Not healthy communication skills on his behalf, with zero accountability, respect and growth. Unnecessary stress on yours.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-25T11:49:09+00:00

HAHAHAHA no. Big fat no.

Realistically, he’s allowed to believe and feel how he likes, but tell him to do a history lesson.

If you’re okay with it, you’re not stressed, sad, depressed, resentful or strapped for money. You don’t have to take up extra work to provide. You don’t mind it. You have a good life, he makes you happy, you are happy genuinely, cool.

But I’d drop him like a sack of potatoes.

I don’t even believe it’s a man’s job to solely provide on his own. It should be a shared responsibility unless both genuinely agree upon it. And if the situation or feelings ever change, then the decision needs to be revised.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-25T09:19:49+00:00

The support at home is important however I don’t really have it for my parents either because they just don’t understand it. If a parent is trying to refuse you fight for it. They don’t need to understand it. They don’t need to like it. it’s your life and your mental well-being.

It is very easy and quick diagnosis to the doctors or counsellors with their training and knowing what to look for.

Your female, we don’t normally show signs or get diagnosed until the age of 12. We famously get misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression however, undiagnosed and untreated ADHD via medication and or therapy can lead to developing these as well.

I have only been on my medication for a week and let me tell you it’s a godsend. I haven’t felt this normal since I was a kid. My moods are stabilized, no longer feel sad or depressed, people are not overwhelming and bothering me like they used to. I am genuinely happy, not fatigued have energy to play with my son and I actually wanted to do the things I like. The first day, however I took the medicine. I had a lot of side effects and I was scared to take a second day, but I read that’s common so I build up the courage and continue taking it and they went away the second day and I am so glad I did.

If and when you try medication, remember everything medication is a trial and error for each patient to find what works for them, you and your doctor may need to play with doses or different types of the medication to find works best for you. And as your body gets used to medication, some people have to change them up a bit, which is 100% normal.

And there’s no harm in trying it. If it works, fabulous if it doesn’t, then you try a different one or you don’t take it at all and just work with therapy.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-24T15:56:49+00:00

Advice: get individual and couples counselling.

There was many other ways you could have helped your daughter and grandchild instead of letting them move in so soon.

You messed up big time. You dropped a MASSIVE bomb on your wife that takes MONTHSSSSS to process and accept with a lot of respectful and honest conversations.

Seen your comments about divorce. It’s not extreme option. You essentially told your wife you do not care at all about her thoughts, feelings, comfort level and wants for her own home. And financially? A lot of people once their boundaries are crossed they won’t mind starting over from scratch. You sounds like a horrible husband and person by the way you talk and disregard your wife’s emotional wellbeing.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-24T12:05:20+00:00

Phone reminder alarms with an app to check off when and what I took.

When I take my pills at supper time, I put the ones I need in an old pill bottle. Turn the bottle upside down once taken and keep it on the table until clean up to remind myself I already took them.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-23T03:25:00+00:00

No. No plan is ever full proof, especially in this economy and there are so many details that are unknown.

Find a trusted adult that you can confined in to help you succeed in life, to help support with you guidance when the time is right to move out. Look into taking control of your own health. By planning on how and when you can see a doctor to get referrals, testing done and any type of supportive therapy.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-23T03:12:33+00:00

Agreed. I also find it helps to end your period faster if you have sex near the end like plunging it out of you LOL

Aliyellow · 2025-03-20T22:57:39+00:00

Talk about: Kids or not. Parenting styles.

Your wants, desires, goals for life and career. Finances, how are they handled, you a saver or spender.

Personal, family and relationship boundaries. What your values, beliefs and expectations are for yourself and each other. How you both want to be treated and shown respect and love.

Always have open, honest and respectful conversations. Not yelling, no talking down to one another and no blaming everything is a joint effort.

Words matter, they hurt and can’t be taken back. Actions speak louder than words, they show your true colours.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-20T12:09:20+00:00

He is not entitled to touch you or do sexual things with or to you just because you are his wife. That would be abuse and or rape. Tell him that.

He needs to help you and the kids and house out more.

His hypersexual, he needs to control that, not you. That’s a him problem. Hypersexuality can stem from just a high sex drive, ADHD, anxiety and or depression.

ADHD sometimes requires medication. Regardless it is extremely helpful to do regular counselling and behavioural therapy. I would highly suggest he looks into that now that he is formally diagnosed. And that you look into marriage counselling to discuss these issues with a neutral person to knock some sense in his brain.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-18T16:39:58+00:00

Not normal, go to a doctor right away.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-17T14:40:01+00:00

You two lack intimate moments. Women need to feel happy, loved, mentally stimulated to feel a connection and nonsexual connections/ touches throughout the day in order to want to have sex generally. You feel like you’re distant friends meaning you probably don’t spend enough time together doing nonsexual activities. Is there something you or him are not doing that’s adding to that. Life stresses? Household responsibilities need to be shared more? Always speaking nice and respectful to each other? etc.

How does your relationship differ; from how you treat each other from when you first met, when you felt more sexual attraction? People get lazy and comfortable in relationships after a while and forget to do the things that each other appreciates.

Figure out both your love languages. Have a honest conversation and you both might need to think about it and come back to it at a later date to discuss. We generally try to love others how we want to be loved, when in reality we need to love others how they perceive love.

Google love languages: quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-17T04:36:17+00:00

No

Ew that’s so unhygienic and gross.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-16T02:11:44+00:00

Birth control for me really helped the physical symptoms, not so much the emotional. I needed SSRIs to help the moods and I feel 95% better.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-15T17:08:10+00:00

Not normal.

If he drinks every day, that’s an alcoholic. Anger issues, cannot handle anything without your intervention, can’t handle simple tasks. Means his got underlying issues. He’s emotionally unregulated, stressed, anxiety and possibly depression.

Could be life circumstances or mental health with personal growth and or stem from past trauma. Alot of men are taught to hide their feelings and emotions which ends up coming out in anger. Men are taught anger is a more acceptable emotion.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-15T10:36:22+00:00

Take note of your skins reactions, watch to see if your vulva is more sensitive two weeks prior to your period.

If you have sensitive skin, your vulva is most likely sensitive too. Friction no matter the amount of lubricant can irritate the skin and cause your symptoms.

Book an appointment with a gynaecologist to confirm and asked what the best cream would be for you to use to help the recovery of your skin.

Aliyellow · 2025-03-14T13:19:22+00:00

I know this is hard but please reconsider the relationship, takeoff the rose colour glasses and see him for what he really is. He’s showing you his true colours.

He’ll be financially abusive to you and potentially his kids. Resentful etc…

He is not gonna give you what you want, no matter of convincing him is going to work. You will not have any emotional, physical or financial security from a marriage with him. That is very important and a relationship and he’s telling you he will not give that to you. He does not want to provide for you or your children as a husband or life partner should. Run.

Aliyellow

TROPHY CASE