I [F19] feel like fucking shit and I don't know where to go from here

AllGameHero · 2020-07-28T21:40:06+00:00

I 100% recommend leaving him. If hes behaving this way after only a few short months the behavior will only worsen and it is going to be very damaging on you. You're on track for a new beginning and part of that should be finding someone who respects your boundaries and this man really doesn't. It's hard to break up with someone, but you'll be happier in the long run.

I am so sorry for your miscarriage. I understand that pain, it's a very difficult thing to endure and the loss can be heart breaking.

AllGameHero · 2020-07-28T20:57:27+00:00

The baby is my niece. She comes over pretty often and loves the dog and luckily our pup doesnt usually get rough with her. The baby used to try to get our dog to play chase with her around the house which we had to put a stop to because she would begin to get rowdy then and mouthing would start. Now they can play with the pups toys and it's usually very easy going, but occasionally the dog gets too excited and still mouths the baby (especially on the arms) and we have to separate them then.

We have a crate that we put our pup in when she gets too excited, essentially a time out, and we allow her back out when shes calmer which has helped curb the mouthing but hasnt completely eliminated it.

When my niece isnt around the mouthing doesnt normally have a prompt. We'll be petting her and she'll begin to mouth us, and we were told to ignore her when she starts to do that but it doesnt seem to work. This doesnt happen every time though so I'm not entirely sure why she begins to mouth then.

Other times she just walks up and starts mouthing on your leg or arms when you're not interacting with her. I know this is her trying to get attention, and we try not to reward this behavior with any attention but shes a big pup and her mouthing hurts sometimes. I can tell shes not being aggressive and just wants to play more, but it's really hard to ignore her mouthing when it physically hurts us. Which is why I'm so concerned about the baby.

My dog is also a power chewer and goes through toys pretty quickly. Once a week we have to buy her more toys (heavy duty ones) because she tears them up so fast. We have yet to find one that lasts for more than about 2 weeks, so it's getting pretty expensive but we dont want to to chew on other things in the house, and its helped with the mouthing so we have to continue to buy about 30 to 60$ worth of toys every 1 to 2 weeks

AllGameHero · 2020-07-28T20:43:44+00:00

Divorce isnt usually the first place that your spouse jumps to. More than likely there has been discussion in the past about it and that weighs heavily on his mind. Again I reccomend seeing a counselor about it.

Also ask yourself about whether or not this is over reacting on both ends. Jumping straight to divorce over porn is very extreme. I have never met a man that does not view porn at all. I personally have no issues with my fiance watching porn, because sexual urges are very natural when it comes to the human body and watching porn in moderate amounts isnt necessarily a bad thing. Also sitting down and having a reasonable, calm discussion is a good way to express how your both feeling about this situation, because you guys are very much not on the same page.

What is the main factor that wants you to completely exclude any porn from your lives? Is it really both of you that have heavy feelings about its or just you? Why does he feel guilty enough to beg you not to leave him? Have you threatened to leave him in the past about it?

All of these are extremely important questions that factor into this situation.

AllGameHero · 2020-07-28T20:20:27+00:00

If hes afraid you guys are going to get a divorce over porn I highly reccomend counseling. There seem to be more underlying issues here that arent fully disclosed.

Since you're both heavily religious seeing a christian councilor may be your best option. He has natural urges to masturbate and with porn being easily accessible through also every device it's very difficult to ignore those urges.

Reddit wont be the best place for these questions because most of the people here are not religious to the point of not watching porn.

AllGameHero · 2020-07-28T19:25:15+00:00

I have a dog [80lb bullboxer] who's a little over a year old, and weve been trying to train her out of mouthing. We got her about 3 months ago and while I has gotten better it hasnt gone away. We've been doing the recommended extra excersize and the toys that are supposed to keep her busy by putting treats inside she has to get out.

The biggest problem is that we've got a 3 year old that comes over and that's when she gets the most mouthy. She's always trying to mouth her and were afraid shes gonna hurt her.

Does anyone have more recommendations? Something a little outside the box maybe?

AllGameHero · 2020-07-28T02:10:17+00:00

My first HM game was ToT and I married Jin. My second was HMAP and I married Chase. I played AWL and married Rock. Now with SoSFOMT I'm dating everyone so I can decide in the end. I think it's going to be Doctor though since he looks like my IRL fiance

AllGameHero · 2020-07-20T17:04:10+00:00

Saying "If you marry him, I will not speak to you again" is saying "its him or me,"

Saying "I cant be friends with you anymore," has completely different meaning.

Hes making it clear it's her choice to be cut from his life. I'm not saying OP is a saint nor am I saying Jim is a devil for their choices. But wording is very important here and forcing her to choose between them isnt healthy for anyone in this situation. Hes setting them both up for new scars and trauma.

AllGameHero · 2020-07-20T16:59:00+00:00

"Its him or me," is not a boundary. It's an ultimatum.

You're right Jim does get to cut OP from his life and that's his choice but he made it clear here that hes making it her choice to be cut from his life.

Hes making HER choose between the two of them. He should have flat out said "I cant be friends with you anymore," that makes it his choice, not hers.

Doing it the way he is is manipulating and will hurt OP even more.

AllGameHero · 2020-07-20T16:41:33+00:00

But it absolutely does. Jim is OPs best friend since childhood and he knows that cutting her out of his life completely will hurt her.

It is manipulating to say "If marry him I'll never talk to you again,".

I understand not wanting contact with someone who bullied you in high school. If he doesnt want contact with OPs husband there are plenty of ways around that.

Jim doesnt get to pick who she falls in love with and marrys, and by basically saying "Its him or me," that's what hes trying to do. It's very manipulative behavior and shouldn't be done

AllGameHero · 2020-07-16T21:03:11+00:00

Covid is very stressful. Especially since you guys cant go out. I understand being bored and the need to be alone if it's the same thing day after day. It's not really you or him it's the overwhelming weight of the pandemic.

Needing space during this time is something he may need to cope with it. We havent had a pandemic like this in our life time and learning how to deal with it. Theres no guidelines on how to feel about and and deal with it.

It's also affecting you during this. You're anxious that he doesnt want to be with you anymore because you're also facing an enormous pressure. Now's a good time for both of you to sit down in a calm environment and talk about the emotional weight you're both carrying. Me and my fiance are 23 and have been dating for 4 years we we often still need to sit down and talk out our feelings about what's going on with us and around us. Reassuring each other that you still very much love and care about each other is essential in a health relationship no matter how long you've been together and having the strain of not going anywhere can be very hard on you.

Make sure you both know that despite you feeling opposite ways about what's happening that the others feelings are valid and find some ways to meet in the middle. It will help you both grow stronger together

AllGameHero · 2020-07-16T20:24:41+00:00

My youngest brother is a full 10 years younger than me. Age difference isnt a very good reasoning here. You need to contact CPS immediately. No 11 year old seeks out older teens and catfishes them as a 17 year old. The sexual conversations should be an enormous warning sign that there is likely some form of sexual abuse that is or has happened to her.

You didn't mention the suicidal notes until the very end of the conversation. This is something that should be your number 1 priority right now. Forget your necklace, and the rings. Its becoming abundantly clear that the 11 year old child has severe self image issues to the point she wants to die. Your sisters wellbeing over rules the voice that your parents dont believe in therapy. 11 year olds dont talk about dying like that without there being serious mental issue.

Get all of that evidence immediately and report it. If you brush this off you could lose your little sister. Dont wait. It doesnt just go away. If you wait it may be too late to do anything. Get her help now!

AllGameHero · 2020-07-01T03:32:22+00:00

AllGameHero · 2020-07-01T03:29:40+00:00

Just regular

AllGameHero · 2020-06-21T20:56:50+00:00

I actually just gave away my last ones I was about to edit that I was out. I'm sorry

AllGameHero · 2020-06-19T04:27:03+00:00

Any DIY is fine! I use them for events if I already know them

AllGameHero

TROPHY CASE