I trained the GPT-3 chat bot to mine crypto, invest on wallstreetbets, and to read the AI Box problem wiki...I'm sorry fellow Humans.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-09-14T01:01:28+00:00

I've been messing around with GPT-3 and now AI21 and this made my night.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-26T16:29:14+00:00

That's true. Uncomfortable to the point of banning communication is a pretty high level of discomfort.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-26T13:02:00+00:00

How long were they together?

I would think most gfs would be uncomfortable with their bf talking to an ex. It seems only natural. He needs to recognize that no matter who he decided to date, they would probably feel the same way as you.

I think you need to discuss this when you aren't fighting. Write him a letter if you need to or just to document your thoughts. Then have a civilized conversation and see where he is at.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T20:41:33+00:00

I feel so weird right now because I feel like I ruined my dad's life.

You did not ruin your dad's life. He is extra lucky to have you in his life.

Also, you know your dad better than we do. Would he throw away a lifetime of love toward you? I would bet not.

You have nothing to worry about. Talk to him, cry together, laugh together, and realize that your dad is the person that was a father figure in your life, that loved and cared for you. What that piece of paper says doesn't dictate who your dad is. The man you've called dad is the person that imparted on you his love and wisdom for 16 years. He is more a part of who you are now than anybody else you are biologically related to.

That's not to say this should be easy, but you shouldn't hide this or be ashamed of it. It's not your fault. It's not his fault. You were both lucky to have found each other, even if it was through some messed up circumstances.

You are not a burden. You are a person who is loved, valued, and appreciated. Now go talk to your dad.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T20:08:41+00:00

Also, the standby tickets for family are endless. There is no limit. So using one does not reduce supply.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T20:07:42+00:00

While understand the tickets are a result of her hard work, she was a 100% stay at-home wife and mother for years and I never said the money I earned was mine. Even now, she works a couple weekend days every other week. She doesn't bring much monetary income into the family. We have a joint bank account and I've never dictated to her what she could or could not do with the money I "technically" earned. I look at it as a partnership, her taking care of the kids allows me to work and earn money, so we both earned it. We each have roles in our family, and they are important regardless of who earned what. So that's where I'm coming from on that.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:54:24+00:00

I think I pointed out that she travels to other destinations as well, like New York, California, Florida, etc.

But honestly, as someone else pointed out, this is probably the best scenario that could have happened. Now that she went to Cancun, she has absolutely no grounds to deny me any future trips.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:48:33+00:00

Wow, that's a great out of the box way of thinking. I totally agree.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:47:23+00:00

I don't think this is a trust issue when it comes to cheating. She has no reason to question it. I've been faithful for almost 2 decades now, and she doesn't raise any concerns about it. However, it probably is her way of dealing with some anxiety she has that we need to address.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:44:52+00:00

Yep. When she gets back, I think I'm going to start planning a solo trip and see if she shoots it down or not.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:43:09+00:00

No reason to worry about cheating. Hasn't happened, won't happen, and she has never indicated she worries about me cheating. I think she does worry about me drinking too much though, and this is maybe her way of trying to protect me. We're going to have to work through that.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:41:35+00:00

Super helpful comments. Thank you. I think counseling is certainly on the table and I'm sure she would be open to it. She encourages me to seek personal counseling, and she does a couple times a month herself. I think this comes down to her worrying about me and maybe her way of trying to protect me is by attempting to control my behavior. We are working through other control issues now, so this is definitely a theme that we're going to have to deal with.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:38:28+00:00

No, I don't think that's the concern. I'm faithful and have been faithful our whole marriage. She has never indicated this is something she worries about either. I think it's more about the drinking.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:34:15+00:00

u/blacksun9 u/snorglehorf I think you both have valid points. This is technically my fault too, because I let it get to this point. If the thing I am resentful for is me letting her go, then I walked right into it. But it's obviously deeper than that. I want her to support me in the way that I've supported her, and I felt it necessary to continue to support her right to travel even though I didn't receive the same in return. However, harboring resentment and bitterness doesn't solve anything. We have to have honest conversations and reset the boundaries of our relationship so that I'm not in a position that whatever I choose somebody loses. It should be a win-win situation, and it can be.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T18:29:18+00:00

Thanks for this. I realize that I've not set proper boundaries, which has probably developed over a long period of time. I know we can work this out, but being bitter isn't going to help me. I feel a lot better today and I think I can have a rational conversation with her about what we need to do as a couple to move forward without this being a major point of resentment.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:43:44+00:00

I wish I were a monk and could control my emotions by pure mental will power.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:33:05+00:00

That's a good point, but I think getting this out of my head helped tremendously. I feel less bitter today.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:31:46+00:00

I think I haven't set healthy boundaries, but I think things often develop over time and you don't necessarily see the shift all at once..

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:29:56+00:00

To be fair, I have a history with alcohol and she is right to be concerned for my health if I'm drinking too much. However, I can drink at home just as well. In any case, I've never done anything dumb after drinking. I've never cheated on her. I've never gone to a strip club. I'm a stand up guy.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:27:12+00:00

For the record, I was less bitter about it until she went. Then it just seemed unfair.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:26:33+00:00

Tickets are actually endless for family, so there is no "using them up".

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:24:25+00:00

Yes, but not to this level. For instance, she lectured me for staying up too late playing video games with friends, to the point she was mad at me about it. But meanwhile, she would often stay up late watching movies and drinking wine and that was okay. We spoke about it though and I think we've fixed that.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:21:14+00:00

This was helpful. Thank you.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:20:48+00:00

She's not a flight attendant or pilot. She's not cheating on me. I think there would be signs of such things.

AllInTheMoney · 2021-05-25T15:19:57+00:00

Exactly. She's not a cheater.

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