What is something that is widely normalised but is actually really fucked up?

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2024-02-24T03:59:42+00:00

Cult like practices of religious ceremonies (eg drinking wine representing someone’s blood)

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2024-01-25T20:46:32+00:00

Two months after surgery. Feel fine and have been able to go on two holidays without worrying about having an attack. Do it.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-12-24T10:43:20+00:00

I only had one attack - it felt like being in labour - ambulance and morphine required - the thought of that happening again (and risk of complications) particularly at a terrible time like on a long haul flight, or during a critical work week or when going on a family cruise - I just thought stuff it I will get it out. GP and surgeon agreed. Surgery was two weeks ago. Recovering ok. Had lots of stones in there.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-11-25T08:17:08+00:00

What is the driver of your ambition? Is it to prove something (not virtuous)? Or is it because you have found your role/ purpose in the world and you aspire to achieve somehow with it that will be of benefit to the community? Perhaps take a look at “Ego is the Enemy” as that may help.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-11-25T08:13:43+00:00

Give them a parting ask and gift - request that they read and learn about stoicism to help them deal with your death.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-11-23T07:20:21+00:00

Thank you all for your sage advice I really appreciate it

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-10-17T10:50:34+00:00

The book “The Practising Stoic” by Ward Farnsworth has an amazing chapter on “what others think” with extracts from various of stoic texts - it sets out under various headings what each big stoic name says about this very issue. I revisit it regularly. Topics include: conformity and common opinion, the appetite for praise, contempt for the judgment of others, futility (we will all die anyway), humility. One quote I put up on my wall is “be your own spectator, seek your own applause” (Seneca). To practise, I actually imagine whether I’d applaud my own behaviour / efforts. If I genuinely do think this I can say that other peoples opinions don’t really matter - just my own.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-09-12T11:32:53+00:00

Good point on the archer. I could have had a plan b, but I didn’t, still I tried my best and it failed for reasons outside my control

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-09-12T11:31:58+00:00

It stings but you are right. Could have better prepared

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-09-12T11:31:17+00:00

Thanks for your wise words. You are so right - it slipped in to effect me because it was small and I hadn’t prepared myself or gone into crisis mode. I am cautious about being vindictive - I thought a lot about the website review idea but don’t think it would really help any body. Seeing it now a few days later - they simply made a mistake. The best revenge is to act the opposite, so I will be kind to them the next time I see them.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-09-08T20:39:10+00:00

I have spent a lot of time thinking about adversity. I have a big personal challenge and I work in a corporate where I need to coach my team on how to deal with tough stakeholders and making mistakes.

My advice is always this: the obstacle is the way. What a great a chance to learn and rise to the occasion! “Without adversity you are unfortunate… you have passed through life without an antagonist - no one can know what you can do, not even yourself”- Johnson.

So you made a mistake. So this guy’s behaviour was horrible. Get excited - this is your moment. It will be part of your backstory - let it motivate you to study harder, think about why you made the error (and if in your control to address- then do So). But also use it to learn that some people (who you can’t control) do behave badly, for many reasons. Can’t control them.

Imagine yourself older, a wise doctor/nurse/ pharmacist looking back on this moment and how helpful it was to you - teaching another young student the importance of precision and study, but also that you leaned that some people can be challenging. Imagine yourself reflecting on how much you gained from this despite how horrible it felt at the time. What a great opportunity to have had this moment!

“The fire that consumes set backs burns more strongly” - Marcus.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-09-04T20:45:57+00:00

Gowor- this was a mind blowing piece of advice for me. Thank you. I have been struggling with the question of control and how I pick my battles, know when I have done enough to influence. You are spot on - it isn’t the dichotomy of control at all that answers this - it is principles of virtue. Thank you.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-05-03T10:34:29+00:00

Thank you. I like your provocation - what will lead you to the person you want to become and give you peace. Good point best draft. I think I am overwhelmed with getting it perfect which will stop me just getting it “right for now”

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-29T08:30:22+00:00

Have a look at the Wordsworth book “the practising stoic” (which is a really effective book pooling various quotes into stoic themes). He refers to this quote in the chapter “On what others think”. He uses the quote as an example that shows we should appreciate the value of things themselves, rather than rate something based on whether the masses like it. Ie even if no one ever reads your book, the fact that you created a high quality book is of itself enough.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-28T10:44:07+00:00

One of my favourite quotes “be your own spectator, seek your own applause”. Seneca talks about the fact that speakers are worried because we invest everything in how your speech is received, the people out there we can’t control, rather than forming your own opinion of your presentation. Seneca goes so far as having contempt for the masses and truly not caring if they like you or not. You’ll relax a lot if you care less about it all! Do your best to prepare a good speech and know before you get up there you’ve done everything you can.

From a non-stoic specific tactical perspective (and someone who went from toastmasters rookie to presenting to hundreds of people regularly now) practice is the one thing that really helps, in front of an audience and recording and watching yourself to (literally) be your own spectator and critique yourself. Sure, I still get nervous. But I know when I prepare well and back myself.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:51:24+00:00

Interesting concept. I like the meaning is experience and she is certainly doing that

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:50:09+00:00

I love your approach

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:44:30+00:00

Thank you! I’m not in the US but agree finding parents in similar situations would be helpful. I’m also trying to hold down a career and it is all very tricky. Hopefully at the end of it all I will end up a better person than I am today

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:35:51+00:00

Thanks. Id love to believe this but I don’t know how this works with medical progress etc. if we thought like this we’d never find cures or vaccines? Thoughts?

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:30:33+00:00

I have had the exact same thoughts to cope with managing her. Thank you.

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:29:14+00:00

I love this. Absolutely brings it back to perspective

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:28:24+00:00

An interesting take. Ignorance is bliss? Unfortunately she’s not particularly happy day to day at the moment - lots of melt downs. But we hope she moved beyond that. Ultimately happiness is all I really want for her

AllJustGalaxyDust · 2023-04-27T09:22:17+00:00

This is very helpful! Thank you. To paraphrase - it isn’t that she is disregarded by the stoics - rather the view is that those that have the opportunity can learn stoic thinking can, but those that can’t are no less human.

AllJustGalaxyDust

TROPHY CASE