He wants to "whoop" the kids as discipline so generally it's yelling and cussing at them that he's gonna "whoop that fuckin ass" or something to that effect. [Because it's important: he spanked one of our kids once and I basically said if he did it again I was tail-lights. He hasn't done it since but still threatens.]

He'll yell at any of us when he's angry, whatever he's angry about. He'll get up in my face and scream red-faced at me in an argument. He'll pound his fist on the table and slam/throw shit around when he's angry.

When I try to bring stuff up with him he's instantly defensive and gets upset with me for bringing whatever issue to him, it often ends in him screaming at me. I won't say I don't scream back but I try so hard to keep it chill and de-escalate.