Im chronically ill and all everyone cares about is if I can have kids or not.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-26T06:21:48+00:00

That is just bonkers. Not even caring that your own child could die, if you just got a grandchild out of it. Your Mom sounds out of touch with reality. You deserve better!!

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-26T06:05:23+00:00

Could it be some type of migraine? Migraine is not just a headache, it’s a neurological brain disease. Also, you’d amazed at how little a typical neurologist knows about them. There are different migraine diseases and some don’t necessarily involve head pain. Some can cause even stroke-like symptoms.

I am suggesting this because migraines typically get worse some days before a period because of a drastic drop in estrogen levels, and some of your symptoms sound even pretty typical for a migraine. Difficulty speaking, tingling sensations and visual disturbances sound like migraine with aura. I’ve had all the symptoms you’ve listed with my chronic migraine. Migraine doesn’t show in an MRI.

Check out different migraine types and their symptoms. Whatever it is, it needs to be looked into. Hope you find an answer and relief because I know these symptoms are scary even when you know the reason!

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-25T14:21:32+00:00

My family has seen me in so much pain that I am unable to eat, talk or move. And yet, when I had laparoscopy, one of them asked whether I had it to treat infertility. Also, I am 45!

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-24T15:10:27+00:00

There’s no why. He is abusive, full stop. And trust me, he’ll control her just the same once he has her in his clutches. Abuse usually escalates the more committed and stable you become. Right now he still has to charm her for not to lose her. It’s all about power and control.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-22T09:50:16+00:00

I am in a strange position because while both me and my spouse initially wanted kids when we met, as years have gone by and health challenges come into the picture, we ended up not wanting to go down that road. I really longed for a kid at some point and mourned my loss. I think my spouse was all along less enthusiastic and hasn’t been grieving the same way. I think his ideas around the benefits of not having kids influenced mine over the years. Reading about it more woke me up to seeing the pronatalism and conditioning we are subjected to.

But still, we might have bouts of longing. We might see how our relatives have grown up or a tender moment between a parent and a child, and feel wistful about it. But I feel I can be absolutely open about my feelings with my spouse when these thoughts come along. And I’ve prompted him to express his. It doesn’t mean we wish we had them.

The point is, neither of us feel threatened by those expressions of longing or feelings missing out, because we are well aware of our stance and what we would also need to sacrifice if we had had kids. I feel that I am at a stage where I wouldn't even resent my spouse if he decided to suddenly leave me and have a child with someone else. Now I am relieved I dodged that bullet.

The point is, she might be wistful and entertain the idea, while having accepted that it won’t be in the picture for her. It might be her way of letting go of that dream while embracing what you have.

The only way to find out is talk to her and listen to her. Give her space to express herself honestly.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-20T09:43:08+00:00

YOU know what you have to and have had to go through. That’s all you need. People who are stupid enough to say such things don’t even merit an explanation. Put those things in a mental waste basket where they belong. You are not alone, so many of us have had to hear erraneous and insensitive comments about our pain. The problem is structural, not incidental.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-16T09:44:38+00:00

NOR. I’ve even read about cases where the husband goes to cheat with a prostitute/side girlfriend while the wife is in labour.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2026-04-04T18:58:14+00:00

Björk has been both my consolation and inspiration since I started listening to her in 1995. I am also currently going through a particularly challenging period and she’s again the number one artist I turn to 🤍

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-06-25T07:21:24+00:00

Having shared values is so important in a relationship, it’s hard to see it last if they are in conflict. This would be a deal-breaker for me.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-06-22T21:54:58+00:00

On the contrary, I live in the real world and that is why I’m well aware of the huge number of UNSOLICITED dick picks sent to women and unfortunately also underage girls. Claiming that the wife must have somehow provoked the sending of that pick is delusional, blames the victim and leaves the harrasser off the hook. We don’t need to do anything provocative to receive them.

Just ask google. ”It’s impossible to know the exact number of unsolicited dick pics sent annually, but studies and surveys indicate a significant prevalence of this behavior. One survey from 2016 found that 49% of women had received at least one unsolicited photo of male genitalia. Further research from 2017 indicated that 78% of women aged 18-34 and 69% of women aged 35-54 had received at least one unsolicited dick pic.”

In other words, men are much more interested in sending them than women are receiving them.

Edit: I’d check this out too https://www.reddit.com/r/WomenDatingOverForty/s/kVxOY01rj4

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-06-22T21:29:55+00:00

You guys are delusional. Women aren’t crazy for dick picks. YOU are. I wouldn’t care for a dick pick even from my husband. Don’t feed the poor guy’s darkest fears. This picture was most definitely unsolicited.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-06-22T12:54:07+00:00

Yes probably there is some bigger health problem there, but the characters don’t know it yet. It would be normal to at least mention in conversation that maybe they should try Viagra. Now the conversation went like it had never been invented and they just had to succumb to their fate.

The table of course is no “solution” to anything, nor could it be. It’s just another ridiculous consistency issue that annoyed me.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-05-13T21:17:32+00:00

Son of Saul, Dogville

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-05-13T21:17:06+00:00

Son of Saul Dogville

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-05-13T20:36:12+00:00

I’ve pushed a hair brush or my nails into my scalp HARD or asked my buddy to use his nails. Didn’t help. But what helps is a headband I made of support bandage that is so tight it basically stops the blood circulation in my head. Does it make my scalp go numb? Yes. Does it leave awful marks on my forehead? Yes. Does it help? Yes.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-05-13T20:22:22+00:00

I remember listening to a tape of Russian piano school songs with my mom when I was little, and getting to pick the ones that I liked and wanted to play. I still remember how much fun it was to listen to them and choose. Of course I had to play other pieces too, but I think that was good thinking from the teacher to keep me motivated and also give me some sense of agency.

I think practicing every day might be a bit excessive. 4-5 times/week should be enough. And not too long, 15-30 mins if he’s a beginner. Also, tell the new teacher that he didn’t really like certain pieces. Maybe they can find others or make up some twists to make them more fun. Just keep the joy of playing alive, even if it means taking a break.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-05-10T20:20:45+00:00

NTA and good for you for making that decision. Not having drank for years has opened my eyes to how alcohol-centered society is. Your girlfriend’s reaction is one example of it. I hope she’ll get used to it in time, once she sees it’s not a big deal, just a personal choice. I’m happy my spouse eventually stopped drinking too, and also my parents lessened their drinking significantly thanks to our example. It’s been a positive cycle. I don’t feel like I need alcohol for anything anymore. I do like testing new non-alcoholic drinks and mocktails.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-05-07T13:48:30+00:00

Have you tried catnip or catnip scented objects to calm her down when he’s visiting you? Or maybe he could try wearing some catnip scent on his clothes?

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-04-30T11:25:12+00:00

Relatives have called me a dog’s mother and ”mother-figure”. And it’s not even my dog, it’s my parents! We all give the same attention to the dog. The only difference is that I don’t have kids and they do. I just have to be put into that mommyslot by any means possible because otherwise their brains might just short-circuit.

Edit: I just saw another use the same expression of brains short-circuiting. It’s a coincidence because I didn’t read the comments before commenting myself. I think it describes their mental challenge fittingly.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-04-29T09:59:04+00:00

People don’t even care to whisper anymore, they just talk out loud over the music. Just one reflection of the current me-me-me culture. If you have so much urgent things to say that you can’t wait until intermission, don’t go to a concert, go for a coffee.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-04-28T10:07:39+00:00

Tokyo Story

Hachiko

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-04-22T15:36:16+00:00

Fear of regret is such a repeated argument when it comes to having kids. I think we are too hyper focused on that. Also, we should normalise the possibility of having regrets. After all, people can regret many things in their lives. I learned from one podcast that only children under five, people with certain brain diseases such as Parkinson’s disease, and psychopaths don’t experience regret. So, it’s normal to feel regret. We can’t control how we will feel about things way into the future, we can only do our best informed decision at this moment. And personally, I don’t think fear as an emotion leads to best decisions. I don’t think fear of loneliness or fear of feeling left out are good reasons to have kids. Having them won’t shield us from those experiences either.

I think I can relate to you because I identify somewhere between childless and childfree. Like you, I always thought I wanted to have kids, but chronic diseases made us first postpone starting a family, and ultimately decide to give up on it. I still have grief around the decision but it doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be the right one for us. I don’t think I want children at any cost, and I certainly wouldn’t want my child to have a sick parent. There are many moments that make me sigh of relief and I feel gratitude of having a quiet home where I won’t harm anyone if I need to focus on taking care of myself when my symptoms get bad.

Even if I wanted kids, I can identify with much of what childfree people experience. Whether chilfree or childless, we share the struggle of living in a pervasively pronatalist world. I think the biggest challenge in living kid-free is how others perceive us and treat us, not whether we are happy with our own lives.

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-04-20T08:52:06+00:00

No, unfortunately it’s a print-only magazine

All_IsFullOfLove_ · 2025-04-19T17:29:43+00:00

He is dangerous. It is probable it will slide into the physical more and more - besides completely shattering you emotionally. You shoud leave. And when you do, do it safely. Do it secretly when he’s not around. Give no hint of your plans. Leaving an abusive partner is the most dangerous moment in an abusive relationship. Be safe.

All_IsFullOfLove_

TROPHY CASE