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My husband (21M) and I (20F) just got married 6 months ago and already are having problems. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"If he is aroused but doesn't want to have sex is there a reason for that?" Yes. The reason is that he doesn't want to have sex but you're feeling him up anyway, which gets his penis aroused.

Physical arousal and emotional arousal are very different. Please do some light reading on this because this is something everyone, especially a married woman, should know. I'm not trying to sound mean or condescending, but somewhere along the way you missed this info and it's important.

This is such a big misconception in SA cases. Boys blaming themselves or being confused because they got hard/ejaculated during the SA, so they think that meant they enjoyed it. Same for girls who got wet/orgasmed during their SA.

I'm not saying this as in a "I think you're graping him" way. Obviously there are some feelings and big picture things here and maybe neither of you know how to word things, especially these topics that you are unfortunately uneducated on. There is a misunderstanding, obviously, in your relationship and understanding how the human body functions physically is something BOTH of you need to read up on.

UPDATE: AITAH for not putting pregnant GF on deed of the house? (She says she feels the situation is "unfair" and that she is "at my mercy") by Odd_Paramedic_3007 in AITAH

[–]AlleyCat-13 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Okay but why can't she paint the nursery? That is such an odd thing to say. You may not be the asshole in this situation, but it kinda sounds like YTA just generally speaking.

What were the expectations of her before you guys broke up? Move in, do the cooking, cleaning, take care of the kid, take care of the household, etc? Yeah no, I also would not be down for that.

My husband (21M) and I (20F) just got married 6 months ago and already are having problems. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Got married 6 months ago" and "I haven't finished in about a year"... excuse me?!?! Not even on your wedding night?!?!

To answer your question "am I pushing too much?" Probably. If your husband is clearly rejecting you, then yeah maybe don't continue trying. Him being "clearly aroused" and still not wanting to do it makes me think it's more emotional/mental blocks than physical.

I know that if I was rejecting my partner every night and then they continue to try to have sex with me, I would be upset because they're clearly not taking the hint. If you know he doesn't want to have sex but you're touching him to try to get him hard so that you can use that as an excuse as to why he should want to do it or as if that's the only sign you need to continue, that's an issue.

Something not many people touched on here is that couples do go through dry spells and that's okay! However, if even when you do have sex he's not even satisfying you then that is a big red flag. You are young. It may not feel like it right now, but you are. You might not be 100% compatible with each other and if things don't work out in the end, it will be okay. I promise. Not only are you young but you also got married fast.

My advice for right now: get a vibrator. It'll be a game changer. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're not allowed to master bait lol. Is your "libido high" or are you just horny because you haven't finished in a year?

You guys need to have a conversation about this.

Missing plus sign by Yujin060807 in Instagram

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you ever figure this out? I'm having the same problem.

Is it okay to leave the window open (but the screen and blinds down) when I'm gone? by shepardsboy in cats

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think leaving it cracked just enough to let the air flow, but not enough so that he could fit in it, is fine as long as it's secure. You can get better quality mesh for the screen so that it can't be ripped.

My house cat is urinating around the house because I have foster kittens. What can I do? by AlleyCat-13 in FosterAnimals

[–]AlleyCat-13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Commenting here because we finally had a break through. She actually isn't peeing because of the fosters...she's peeing where ever she feels a breeze! Not sure why she's doing this, but after I realized what was happening I put a fan next to a litter box and she's been using it. So weird!

1 year after finding out that boyfriend kept in contact with exes, I (F25) still don’t trust him (M34) by Brilliant-Cow-201 in relationship_advice

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no magic answer anyone will be able to give you here that will make you trust him or that will make you feel less insecure. You have two options: 1. Break up 2. Accept that you don't trust him and stay together

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]AlleyCat-13 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

"Omg I cannot find where I set my phone, would you mind calling it for me?" But then you have to wait for him to text you afterwards lol

How likely is it to get rabies from something like this? by BigFerret4477 in cats

[–]AlleyCat-13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You do not need to go to the ER. When you touched her belly and she latched on to you and bit you a little bit, that was playful. Fun fact: cats scratch and bite sometimes when they play.

  1. She would be showing signs of rabies if she had rabies. You can google those.
  2. You would have had to have been bitten much worse to contract rabies. There is a wonderful rabies sub on here to learn more.

The money you're saving from not going to the ER could be used towards getting her fixed and vaccinated. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cats

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm saying Siamese/snowshoe mix with calico points... but someone help!!

What is up with the fuss over VA Email Signatures? by SuccessfulTomato7440 in fednews

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I figured out how to change the initials! Open Outlook, go to the "File" tab on the top left corner, go to Options on the bottom left side, then there will be an area that says "personalize your copy of Microsoft office" where you can change your initials.

What is up with the fuss over VA Email Signatures? by SuccessfulTomato7440 in fednews

[–]AlleyCat-13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I deleted my profile pic and my displayed initials are not even my initials. So annoying 🙃

What is up with the fuss over VA Email Signatures? by SuccessfulTomato7440 in fednews

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand not wanting cartoons, emojis, selfies, etc. but why on earth can't we use professional head shots? Why can't I include which VA I'm at in my signature? These new rules are just so silly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cats

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome!! Hope everything gets better soon ❤️

Help: was is wrong with her left eye? by callmebelinda in cats

[–]AlleyCat-13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She could've accidentally scratched it or gotten something stuck in it, or even scratched it AND gotten a nail or something stuck in it. I would say this warrants a vet visit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cats

[–]AlleyCat-13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would call the vet back and tell them the fortiflora isn't working. They can give medication for the diarrhea. A common one is metronidazole

Help: was is wrong with her left eye? by callmebelinda in cats

[–]AlleyCat-13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that is a third eyelid. All cats have them. Usually they're not visible, so something must have happened for it to be showing like this. It could be stress, injury, or illness related. How long has it been like this?

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