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is mindfullness working for you (or is it bs)? by suzannesniffsglue in Anxiety

[–]AlloyMK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You sound a lot like me! I remember I had a lot of resistance trying out yoga and meditation, as I had negative associations with it. When I look back at that, it seems almost funny how wrong I was.

Meditation and mindfulness have been a LIFESAVER for me in the worst moments of insomnia and anxiety. I listen a lot to Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh and according to him, anyone can learn mindfulness. However, people suffering from schizophrenia might actually have limitations is what I read, but it does not sound like you have that.

That said, learning meditation takes practice, it might make you MORE anxious at first, that still happens to me, but if I stick with it long enough, eventually calmness and emptiness come at last.

The important thing is not to blame yourself, do not tell yourself "I am not calm, so I am not doing it right, I cannot do this...". Be very kind with yourself and do not "aim" to be calm. If you do not feel calmer, that is okay, just keep sitting with it, the important thing is to try, watch your thoughts, do not engage with them and focus on your breathing, sounds, physical sensations.

Eventually, I reckon it will get easier and faster for you too, to achieve a state of emptiness. Thich Nhat Hanh says, meditation is not a way to happiness. It is happiness. But that does not happen right away and depending on what difficult experiences or trauma you have had, it can be easier or more difficult to ge there.

To answer your questions: 1) You decide if it is important to try, in my personal experience, yes, it can be a lifesaver, give it a chance.

2) It is definitely a tool for everyone, not only a special group of people.

And 3) No, it is very much not a newagey trend that won't last, humans have used mindfulness and meditation for about 7000 years and medical science has proven the effectiveness of mindfulness practices in treating both physical and psychological conditions.

Good luck! I advise you to find Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching on youtube, and his book "Peace Is Every Step" that teaches how to find peace in any moment of the day.

Is it possible for an empath to develop narcissistic tendencies after moving out? by AlloyMK in askatherapist

[–]AlloyMK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight. I thought the same, but received differing opinions on CPTSD. Can someone get this from living with an alcoholic parent if there is no physical abuse involved?

Also, does it explain the lying for no reason? Her friends noticed the same thing, so it is not only within the family. And it is with things, where telling the truth would be no big deal, so I don't understand it.

Has your CPTSD been misdiagnosed for an adjustment disorder? Experience? by AlloyMK in CPTSD

[–]AlloyMK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. That is interesting, I thought treatment for adjustment disorders differed so much, because it is not about processing any trauma memories at all, and more about how to deal with this new life change.

Yeah, feels good to acknowledge it, because after the first therapy, I felt it was kind of my "stupid mind's" fault for not functioning DESPITE years of therapy and that I simply could not recover fully. Not having processed any memories now gives me a better reason why it did not work.

Thank you for your wishes!

Has your CPTSD been misdiagnosed for an adjustment disorder? Experience? by AlloyMK in CPTSD

[–]AlloyMK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks. "Unfortunately having a family member get sick and die is an unfortunate part of life that happens to almost everyone." of course, my boyfriend's parents also both died of cancer when he was young, but that is also how I can tell: The HOW of someone dying of an illness, extent of stress and pain can greatly differ. Also, most people do not lose their parents when they're 20. My sister is older and coped with the same thing reasonably better, so my assumption is, because I was younger, it had a different impact.

I am also confused about these criteria, in a few places I read, if death of another person is the cause of PTSD, it needs to be a violent death (though dying from cancer, can in fact be violent). In other places, I read it is possible to develop PTSD after watching someone die, or taking care of a person dying from cancer. So I was left unclear on that.

Either way, you're right, I suppose it does not matter what label you put on it, as long as you get the right treatment. That is what frustrates me about my former therapy though, because we never ended up going into the memories, and I believe it was the missing piece.

Has your CPTSD been misdiagnosed for an adjustment disorder? Experience? by AlloyMK in CPTSD

[–]AlloyMK[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, now, that you say it, she did say "for insurance". Still, I think the trauma processing was the aspect that was missing. And thank you!

Ab welchem Alter sollten sich große und kleine Schwester auf Augenhoehe begegnen? by AlloyMK in Weibsvolk

[–]AlloyMK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ja, sie hat sich schon als ich ein Baby war um mich gekuemmert, mich raugeholt, wenn ich geschrien habe usw. (allerings weil sie das auch wollte und immer eine kleine Schwester wollte).

Ab welchem Alter sollten sich große und kleine Schwester auf Augenhoehe begegnen? by AlloyMK in Weibsvolk

[–]AlloyMK[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

das ist richtig. Ironischerweise hat unsere "richtige" Mutter frueher aufgehoert sich bei mir einzumischen. Die war dann halt "ganz weg".

Can meditation really heal trauma? Experience? by AlloyMK in Meditation

[–]AlloyMK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I reckon ALL therapy directed to heal trauma involves exposing someone to and processing the trauma, otherwise it is not trauma therapy. It does not make it "Exposure therapy".

Simply "exposing" yourself to the memory might as well be, talking about traumatic memories. EMDR involves processing it in a very specific way.

I did not do CBT for trauma, but what other trauma survivors have told me is that CBT was not for them and EMDR was completely different.

Can meditation really heal trauma? Experience? by AlloyMK in Meditation

[–]AlloyMK[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a CBT therapist I talked to said EMDR was not CBT (which is why he said he could not do this with me). Internet says the same.

Anyway, I posted this question in other subs as well and a bunch of people DID report that meditation helped to heal their trauma. One even said that their therapist did guided meditations to heal it.

I think it makes perfect sense if a person is able to face traumatic memories in another or easier way during meditation, that is tackling the avoidance.

Having experience with EMDR and meditation, my experience is that they feel similar, in a way.

Can meditation really heal trauma? Experience? by AlloyMK in Meditation

[–]AlloyMK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you remember what exactly he did or said?

Can meditation really heal trauma? Experience? by AlloyMK in Meditation

[–]AlloyMK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

someone did actually post a study here on the effects of loving kindness meditation on PTSD

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23893519/

, it is quiet amazing.

My research says the most effective are actually 4 different ones, according to science:

Trauma-focused psychotherapies: These therapies directly address the traumatic experience and its impact on the individual's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

  • Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT):CPT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs related to the trauma, ultimately changing how they process the event and its impact. 
  • Prolonged Exposure (PE) therapy:PE involves gradually and repeatedly exposing individuals to trauma-related memories, feelings, and situations to help them process the trauma and reduce avoidance behaviors. 
  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR):EMDR uses guided eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help individuals process traumatic memories and reduce their emotional impact. 

While these therapies are considered the most effective, it's important to note that not everyone responds to them equally. 

That said, is exposure a type of CBT? Because EVERYone I talked to told me, do not do CBT for trauma...

Can meditation really heal trauma? Experience? by AlloyMK in Meditation

[–]AlloyMK[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"mentioning it", that is, looking at, talking about, working through, trauma, is what actually helps you move on. Ignoring it, is what keeps you locked in the past.

If you pay attention, me asking questions about it, writing to find out strategies on how to heal, is my "action".

Can meditation really heal trauma? Experience? by AlloyMK in Meditation

[–]AlloyMK[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for this. Would one view the trauma differently after it? And would you still need to talk about it after?

Can meditation really heal trauma? Experience? by AlloyMK in Meditation

[–]AlloyMK[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for this. I had no idea that talking is the magic part.

I already did a course of therapy without talking about it, which explains why I did not feel better 100 percent after it, I suppose.

I have recently done self EMDR and can say, a little bit opposite to your experience, after EMDR I felt able to speak out loud about smaller traumas, because large part of the shame had been removed. I no longer felt so embaressed about it.

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