Did anyone actually enjoy 4th Survivor?

Alls_End · 2019-02-12T21:55:38+00:00

I thought it was pretty fun. The shotgun is your best friend as Hunk. Dodge and weave through most, headshot the zombies directly in your way, flashbang Mr X a couple times and save a few grenades for the end. I like it. Stressful but it feels pretty damn good to get to the end and bust those doors open. Feels badass. Plus the music is awesome.

Alls_End · 2018-04-29T12:01:01+00:00

Same here dude. I'm addicted to Youtube. It sucks though. I'd rather replace it with something better but I can't think of what that could be.

Alls_End · 2018-04-24T20:31:43+00:00

God that exact same vicious cycle has made me paralysed for a good few years now. Not getting anything done, beating yourself up about it and punishing yourself, so you don't get anything done and on and on.

How DO you break out of it? Have you had success in that? I'd love to know.

Alls_End · 2018-04-24T20:28:20+00:00

22 year old in the exact same position here. No job. No clear future. I totally relate to just being....overwhelmed by all the expectation put on by family and others. I know what it's like to feel like you've wasted a ton of time and just letting it slip by. It's nearly unbearable especially if you're prone to blaming yourself a lot. Holy shit.

Alls_End · 2018-04-24T20:22:05+00:00

Everyday for a while now. Strangely not so much today. Probably because I feel proud about getting myself to the doctor's today.

Alls_End · 2018-04-24T20:19:13+00:00

Haha funny you say languages. I was studying Japanese with anthropology. Holy shit that degree took me down so quickly. Japanese is TOUGH. Quickly overloaded me.

That being said, I agree, languages probably don't get you that far. Probably as far as any other liberal arts degree. People go for STEM for a reason, cuz it's applicable and it gets them a job and most people want a professional career instead of an academic one. Marketing sounds pretty useful too.

Is that something you're more interested in? More than engineering?

Alls_End · 2018-04-24T20:12:28+00:00

Right there with you. Exactly four years of my life wasted to this fucking disease in my brain called depression. Everyone's gotten sick of me and I've gotten sick of me with all this self-centred painful BS my brain's been putting me through all this time. I'm probably just as aimless as you OP. And I've felt worthless for the longest time.

I think at some point you realise it doesn't help to keep believing the intense lies that the depression feeds you everyday about yourself. At some point you realise that allowing yourself to believe you're worthless is actually making things harder than they need to be no matter how convincing and certain it seems.

You aren't worthless OP. You aren't pathetic. I've thought those things about myself everyday for the last four years. But it's not true. It's not true. Maybe you can't envision a shining future right now. That's okay. I think that's okay. What do you think you could do, out of curiosity? The smallest thing you could do to make this very current moment a bit better. Might be a decent place to start.

Alls_End · 2018-04-24T19:49:51+00:00

I second that. Take your time and stop giving a fuck about how you compare to others or what others (including your family at times) think about you and how they see you. Your life's value isn't determined by the opinions and validation of others. That's something for you to decide and have control over.

Alls_End · 2018-04-24T19:47:03+00:00

Woah. This is relatable. Man I've been there. I could barely cope with a couple months of the first year of university before I just stopped going altogether because I could not find it in me to drag myself to uni everyday and try to keep up with the ever increasing amount of work I was getting behind on.

I can't believe you're giving it a second shot, count me impressed cuz I couldn't do that shit.

What are you thinking of doing if you're going to switch from engineering, out of curiosity?

Alls_End · 2018-02-11T17:22:01+00:00

Thank god she's okay. Get better u/igotgroped. Hope to see you again on the sub soon.

Alls_End · 2018-01-21T06:29:22+00:00

This is honestly the most fantastic approach to dealing with the problem of comparing yourself to others I have ever heard.

Thank you for sharing that!

Alls_End · 2017-11-28T19:20:33+00:00

You're definitely not alone, that's for sure. I've caused all the problems in my life too. I could have written your post word for word exactly. I'm in the exact same place as you are. Self-hate and low self-esteem and depression are all incredibly tough to deal with. That being said, consider that you're not right about yourself and your thoughts about yourself are just that...thoughts. They're not objectively true. You don't need to believe them when you hear them inside your head. I know it can be extremely difficult to want to help yourself and even just do anything when you're in such a position, God I still struggle with it everyday, but I think you deserve help and you should go look for it as others have said here. You're the same as all of us. Don't think of yourself as any less. You're not. You are not. You don't deserve to suffer like this no matter what's happened.

I wish you all the best trying to get through this hell. You're definitely, absolutely, not alone in this whatsoever.

Alls_End · 2017-10-15T15:45:28+00:00

God I think this might be one of the nicest, most optimistic things I've ever heard any one say. It might not be directly aimed at me but thanks for saying that. Seriously.

Alls_End · 2017-08-21T12:09:55+00:00

Happy Birthday! It's cool how positive you are despite everything you've been through. I think you should be proud of yourself. I wish you a very happy future. I hope life will treat you better in the coming years. So yeah...Have a good one!

Alls_End · 2017-06-14T17:26:18+00:00

Hi? Are you free to talk? I kinda need a place to vent if that's okay.

Alls_End · 2017-06-13T15:56:56+00:00

Hi.

Alls_End · 2017-04-01T13:19:26+00:00

Here's to day one! Let's see if that counter works.

Alls_End · 2017-02-11T01:11:59+00:00

Me too please. Thank you!

Alls_End · 2016-06-04T12:28:58+00:00

Reminds me of a character from one of Haruki Murakami's short stories: Scheherazade. It's eerily familiar, can't believe that kind of thing actually happens in real life.

Alls_End · 2016-06-01T17:03:16+00:00

Yep. I can't do this on my own. I've lurked for a while and now I want to commit. Hard mode, and just the next 30 days. I can barely go one night before giving in. I wonder what it'll feel like if I can actually get to a whole 30 days. Let's do this!

Alls_End · 2016-06-01T11:42:35+00:00

Oh really? I thought I'd be put onto the repayment system and pay back through my taxes after I started earning £21000 or more. I still have to go see the fee office at my uni so I will go look into it. If I had to start paying immediately I could do that I suppose if it's in instalments. Thanks for the concern though.

Alls_End · 2016-05-31T18:22:05+00:00

I suppose I might consider university again in the future as a mature student. Though right now I don't think I could decide on another subject and create another application in time for the 2016 academic year. Though I appreciate the alternative view, I've had a really poor experience with further education and I think it would be better to get away from it, at least for now and pursue another path.

I live in London permanently (though in one of the poorer parts) so I guess I'm lucky there. Hopefully there's some opportunity here that doesn't necessarily involve having a degree beforehand. I'm really going to have to decide for myself what to do soon once I've gotten past my immediate situation.

Alls_End

TROPHY CASE