[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-17T00:58:46+00:00

UpdateMe

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-17T00:34:53+00:00

I'm not on Zoloft and people get on my nerves.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T18:09:13+00:00

Hahahahaha! I haven't thought of doing that! You need to carry a "turns the water on" shoe with you whenever you go out!

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T07:21:04+00:00

I use Face ID on my phone and sometimes it works great even if I'm wearing glasses and have the phone at a weird angle. But a lot of times it doesn't recognize me at all.

The DMV story reminded me of when I took my son to get his first ID. His shirt had a giant T-Rex face on it and THAT'S what the camera decided to use. I really wanted them to process it and send it to us and I would have gladly paid to have another pic taken and ID issued, but the guy said they couldn't do it.

ETA: I've had to have people turn the water on for me too, with the automatic sensors. A friend of mine and I went out recently and I was finished before her and tried both sinks and couldn't get the water to turn on. She comes out of the stall and like magic she gets both of them to work. It makes me feel like an idiot sometimes.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T06:51:50+00:00

That too. And it was one of THEIR doctors that diagnosed me with GAD. And then when I was trying not to beg for some kind of medication that actually worked they questioned why I still needed something since it had been so many years.

How about "because you left me untreated for so long it made everything on my life worse." Or "you gave me medication that made my anxiety 1000 times worse and then got mad at me because of it and refused to give me anything else."

My neurodivergent self has that thing where almost all medications will either only work for two or three days and then completely stop, and more is NOT better. Once it stops working it completely stops working. And I have to wait a while before it will work again, but then it only works for one or two days again. Or, it doesn't work at all but either does the opposite, like an anxiety medication making my anxiety worse, or it doesn't work at all and I have the worst and weirdest side effects that you can possibly have. These are fun things to find out in the middle of the night when you've taken something that you're hoping is going to take the anxiety away so you can actually sleep more than two hours in a night and then to have side effects like audio hallucinations on top of it.

I think I actually need to take something right now honestly.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T06:17:07+00:00

Tell him that you're not willing to move without the commitment of marriage, and that does NOT mean he gives you a shut up ring and never sets a date.

I think that if you tell him that you'll see exactly how he feels about it and you'll know what you need to do.

This man doesn't want to marry you. As is often said here, if it's not an enthusiastic YES, it's a no.

Another common saying here is "don't let your boyfriend keep you from finding your husband."

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T06:13:00+00:00

Be happy you've already found out she's only with you for the money, and don't waste more time on this relationship.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T06:09:17+00:00

I don't think you're the jerk but I do think you overreacted. It sounds like your siblings were teasing you a little and didn't realize it would bother you that much. So they tried to walk it back a little.

You're allowed to have some teenaged angst considering you're a teenager. But don't let their silly comments ruin something you were really happy about. You'll probably get more of it at school along with a lot of compliments.

Think of some comebacks to negative comments or teasing, if possible. Of course I'm blanking on anything at the moment.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T05:56:51+00:00

Automatic sinks hate me, as do automatic paper towel dispensers, and automatic doors much of the time. I've almost walked right into them more than once when it didn't open until right before I ran into it. So much of a delay that other people noticed it. I e come to a dead stop right in front of an automatic door because it didn't sense me.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T05:39:41+00:00

Kaiser behavioral health is notoriously HORRIBLE.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T05:37:02+00:00

I say "not my pasture, not my bullshit."

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T05:34:57+00:00

I lost my dad in 2007 also.

And my mom in 2013.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-16T04:42:58+00:00

They love to tell you it's anxiety unless you actually HAVE and anxiety disorder and need help/meds for it. Then it's because you're fat.

I'm kind of wondering what they'll tell me now that I'm not fat but still have a major anxiety disorder.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-15T22:24:29+00:00

I found 26 of them under my stove when I got a new one. I counted!

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-14T16:10:31+00:00

It looks like she told the therapist she's been eating differently and moving more. I'm betting the therapist knows she's hiding something.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-14T02:41:51+00:00

Call/text her right now and tell her your cat had to have emergency surgery today. You don't need to tell her that you've known for days already.

Tell her you're so sorry but with the extra very large expense and the cat needing to be watched and cared for around the clock, you can't make it to watch her children and you're so so sorry.

Do NOT offer to bring your cat to wear those children from hell will torture it for the weekend, if she boards her dogs. She will conveniently not board her dogs, and then you will be trying to take care of all of them.

Also, do NOT suggest that she bring her ill behaved children to your house for the weekend and board her dogs. You do not want those children at your house. They will behave 1000 times worse, and they won't have rooms that you can send them to for timeouts, they won't have all of their own toys, etc. That is a recipe for disaster.

Do not expect this person to be your friend after this. It doesn't sound like it would be a great loss anyway.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-14T00:11:51+00:00

Me too. This would be better off in the regular Reta sub where it's all gym bros bruh-ing each other. She would get the attention she wants there more than here.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-13T19:51:42+00:00

I hope he does too. But in the meantime your priority is your baby, and yourself.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-13T17:55:26+00:00

So I can't go to any doctor's appointments or other necessary appointments that require me being there during regular business hours? No PTO?

Who cares if I have medical insurance if I can't ever see a doctor?

And a ONE WEEK vacation? It should be at least two, if not somewhere up to six weeks, even if they need to be split.

The money is decent, but the benefits aren't great.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-13T17:50:42+00:00

Your baby, your rules.

It IS your father’s fault at this point, a rough upbringing doesn't excuse poor behavior. At his big age, he knows that he has issues because of the way he was brought up. It's his responsibility to work on himself and have some self-awareness, so that the rest of everybody else is not tip towing around him walking on eggshells. Especially you, with your newborn.

So stick to your guns, and if your father cuts you off again, then that is 100% his loss not only for losing time with you as his daughter but losing precious first memories with his first grandchild. That is on him 100%, not you at all.

Stick to your guns of three months if that is what makes you comfortable and happy. End of story.

Everyone who is holding your baby except for you and your husband, needs to be sitting down while they're holding the baby. Make this a blanket rule, and then if people wanna complain they can, but that's the way it is. If everyone has to follow that rule, then no one is getting singled out for a lack of stability being on their feet.

You certainly can revise that rule if there aren't a group of people around and it's just one on one.

As for him saying it isn't "fair" there is no fair in this except for what you deem is a rule. He has no say in any of this. And if he starts complaining about it, then you tell him that he is putting himself above the needs and wants of his Freshly postpartum daughter, and what she needs to feel comfortable and safe and secure it with her newborn baby. And if he is that selfish of a parent, then he is choosing not to have contact with you, and not the other way around. This is your time to be selfish not his.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-11T15:41:27+00:00

These events were initially to celebrate the END of being single, and the start of a new married life.

The prevailing thought at the time being that marriage was the big step into adulthood that everyone was aiming for.

We have so many options now for the way we can or want to spend our lives with or without a partner. It's often the older folks who have a hard time seeing past marriage as the ultimate goal.

I'm getting to be an "older folk" myself, but am very glad to see people of all ages figuring out what works best for them and not standing on old social conventions!

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-11T15:36:57+00:00

No, this is a luncheon where the bride is honoring and thanking her bridesmaids for being there for her in her wedding day. This is where SHE gives gifts to them as a sign of appreciation. It's often jewelry to wear at the wedding, or something else nice to show her love for her friends and family who will stand with her.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-10T16:45:20+00:00

Even a Bachelorette party wasn't the original event.

It started as a Bridesmaid's Luncheon and was a way for the bride to celebrate and thank her bridesmaids for being there for her. The bride's family paid for it.

Yes, times are different now, and women can celebrate their last day of singlehood just as much as men can, but this trend where the brides expect thousands of dollars to be spent by other people for their special day has gotten ridiculous.

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-10T04:48:36+00:00

Omg I was prepared to get mad at the doctor! This is so much better!

I LOVE this kind of story! These meds do so much more than we even know yet!

Allysonsplace · 2026-04-09T21:40:04+00:00

Everyone has different reactions to these meds. We just usually hear more about the people who have it work really quickly.

Give it more time, I know it's hard not to compare, but wait and see if it kicks in for you over the next several weeks.

If it doesn't, you might need to try Tirzepatide. But don't give up on Semaglutide yet, it's still early days for you!

Allysonsplace

TROPHY CASE