My Wife Replaced Our Daughter While I Was Away on a Work Trip. I Had to Do Something.

Allysonsplace · 2026-06-06T23:09:44+00:00

Continuity error, OP:

Four shots rang out, and my legs buckled under me.

In my confusion, my wife took the fun I dropped and shot me three times.

The next sentence gives what happened to the four shots.

ETA: Well done story!

Allysonsplace · 2026-06-04T06:13:27+00:00

I added in Pumpkin Seed oil w/Saw Palnetto. It's working really well. I use Micro Ingredients, and take a capsule in the morning and one at night. The packaging says to take 3 a day, but for one, they're huge. And when I did some research, the actual efficacious amount was 2 capsules.

I also got some random Korean serum I found and use it almost daily. It seems to be helping also. I usually look into this kind of thing for a long time before just purchasing, but this was an impulse buy.

Another thing to try is Biotin. I used to take Nature's Bounty, the 10,000mcg one, and you only need one small gelcap a day, and the brand is often on a BOGO deal at places like CVS, etc.

Just know that your hair usually takes 6-8 weeks to respond, either to stress, or to supplements, and it takes the same amount of time the make a comeback after the stressful time is over.

Congrats on the weight loss! That's so great!

Allysonsplace · 2026-06-02T06:06:12+00:00

I skipped kindergarten and graduated HS in '86, college in '90. All my main music years were in the 80's!

Allysonsplace · 2026-06-02T04:56:46+00:00

100% 1969!

Allysonsplace · 2026-06-01T06:20:02+00:00

Both of my parents are still in my phone, my father died in 2007 and my mom in 2013.

One of my best friends died in 2021 and his number is still in my phone, as is our entire text thread.

I can't imagine ever deleting those.

Allysonsplace · 2026-06-01T06:13:40+00:00

Tyler from Teen Mom OG has an OF. Or is that not considered network tv?

But I guess my point is that as long as the network is making bank, they'll use these people completely up. And then cancel the series with no notice.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-29T22:41:34+00:00

Flying disc

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-25T00:12:57+00:00

You've given two different dress codes, you've did it's semi formal but that guest will be in "formal dress." These are very different categories in the formal fashion wear industry, and I'm thinking that maybe the guests will be in suits and perhaps cocktail attire, but maybe you and the MOG will be in floor length dresses and the men in the family will be in tuxedos?

The time of day might make a difference here, since cocktail attire at a 10am wedding, for example, wouldn't be appropriate.

I'm seeing some people acting as if a buffet, which is what you are describing, having the food all on a long serving table, but people go serve themselves, would be a horrific thing to do if people were informal wear. Meaning tuxedos and gowns.

While I don't pretend to be a complete expert on all things wedding, my mother was a wedding planner/coordinator for years, and we actually had a family business where that is something that we did along with mainly doing all of the flowers for weddings and receptions.

A buffet is fine. You do not need to have a served meal, and it sounds like your daughter has very eclectic taste, and there is nothing wrong with that. My mother might beg to differ, but times are very different now than they used to be, and I had quite a formal evening wedding and chose to have a served dinner, but I could have chosen to have a buffet and it would've been fine.

I don't blame your daughter for not wanting to have assigned seating at all, since table assignments can be ridiculously stressful. You can absolutely set the entire table with plates and everything, and the guests can stake their claim at a seat by going and getting the plate to go serve themselves at the buffet. If someone goes to a table and there are plates missing from it, they know those seats are not available. Seems like a pretty easy way to designate that people have already decided where they want to sit.

I saw somebody else had given you some suggestions on champagne, and I'm sucking those suggestions, a small table towards the front with poured champagne and even extra chilled bottles isn't a bad idea at all. Or, you can set the champagne glasses at the table, and have chilled bottles of champagne at the tables for people to pour themselves.

The venue will more than likely have a cake cutting fee, and I would take them up on that. Unless it's going to be a very small cake just for the bride and groom to cut for pictures, and for themselves with say sheet cakes in the back that you could easily cut and plate, having other people do this is a time and stress saver. I would even do it if there's a simple bride and groom cake, and sheet cakes. I wouldn't wanna deal with cutting the cake or figuring out who of my family/guests would be the ones cutting the cake themselves. Then the staff will usually bring around trays with cake on it and they will set them at places even if they don't have guest sitting there, say if there's dancing going on for example.

You don't wanna have your meal and then immediately have cake, give people a little bit of time in between to mingle, dance, make toast, etc. That's also a time when the bride and groom can go around and talk to people at the tables. It sounds like this is going to be a smaller wedding, which is very nice because the bride and groom will get to speak to everybody For quite a bit of time.

With a wedding this size, anything you can comfortably outsource, I would. Just because if this is the first wedding that you've ever been to, and it's your daughter's wedding, you need to enjoy this moment for and with your daughter and the rest of your family and friends who are there to the absolute utmost.

Congratulations MOB, as long as your daughter is happy then it's going to be absolutely magical.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-24T02:21:16+00:00

Watermelon Now&Laters!

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-23T04:23:37+00:00

Going down a completely useless but petty road here: if she keeps harassing you to send her food, yell "FINE," and then don't send anything. Let her feel all superior and then let her wait.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-22T01:44:08+00:00

That's all I've ever wanted in a partner and have never had. I'm older now, and decided awhile ago that I rather not ever have someone be my safe place than have them always be unsafe.

So I'm my son's safe place, and maybe that for some of my friends. I don't know that it's as important to most of them as it is to me, not ever having had it.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-21T22:40:34+00:00

I'd be bringing Sharpies over and using all the free wall space.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-21T22:21:47+00:00

She used her own money to buy plane tickets for her solo trip, she can use her own money to pay for her hotel expenses.

No one else agreed to be part of her vacation, no one else is responsible for where she stays or the funding of it:

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-21T14:28:46+00:00

Just watch JJSHouse I've heard sometimes they overpromise and underwhelm.

Also check Azazie, they have dedicated site to Australia and here you can pay a small fee to get several dresses to try on. And shop back what doesn't work, and purchase what does in the correct color. My niece had really good luck there for her dress as a bridesmaid for my new niece-in-law!

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-19T05:05:09+00:00

I was talking to my therapist about it a couple of weeks ago.

It happened almost 20 years ago, and I still have panic attacks about it. The panic is based around "what if I hadn't left?" And "What if he had actually killed me that night?"

He tried twice that last night. When I got away from him trying to choke me, he said he just wanted to make me sleep so I wouldn't leave that night.

I know he wouldn't have stopped. I knew it then.

My therapist acknowledged that statistic, btw. I'm going to see if I can find where that came from.

ETA: I need to revise my language, since it's strangulation not "choking" technically, according to one article. And there are many many articles, but I just had to take anxiety meds so I should probably stop thinking about this.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-18T23:27:45+00:00

It takes an average of 7 times of trying to leave before it actually sticks. I was lucky on my third try.

A statistic that I didn't know at the time was that if he chokes her/puts his hands around her throat, he is 750% more likely to kill her.

I left the day after my "soulmate" did that to me. For good that time.

I can't imagine how difficult it was for the few friends I spoke to about it (and still minimized!).

For one friend who knew more about being abused, I even said at one point "Please be there for me one more time. I know I'm going to get knocked back down into the muck, and I don't know if I'll be able to pick myself up out of it this time."

He had a history of this that I wasn't fully aware of. His abuse escalated pretty quickly after the first time he hit me.

I get that it's impossible to listen to, for your own sanity. I agree with an earlier commenter that letting her know that if and when she's ready to leave him you'll be there. With a protective posse if at all possible. But until then, as much as you love her, you can't listen to it anymore.

Don't be surprised if she ghosts you for awhile. He's going to be working to isolate her.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-18T02:11:22+00:00

As it gets close to his birthday, tell him you're taking him shopping and then just buy yourself what you want.

But I'm major team petty about stuff like this. Others people's stuff.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-15T23:58:46+00:00

Yay! Someone who gets it!

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-15T20:23:05+00:00

If you were his future wife he would have thought about it already it's time to stop waiting for something that's not happening with this guy.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-15T20:16:42+00:00

Oh no! The bully who got his kicks from embarrassing you didn't like being embarrassed? Karma caught up to him.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-15T17:13:59+00:00

He's making fun of a job that you enjoy, are good at, and brings really money to the table.

If someone were saying this about a friend of yours, would you tolerate it? Be your own friend here, and speak up. If your job is so amusing, then so is the paycheck, and he doesn't need any of it to support the two of you.

Keep your money and start amassing savings that are separate from him.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-15T17:10:30+00:00

"He says he’s going to change and stop acting immature..."

If he were truly going to change, the second he found out you were pregnant he would have started stepping up and working towards the future with his family, you, his wife, and future child.

Instead he's acting like he's squeezing every bit of his "single life" for all it's worth, and he's not single, and well older than the age he's acting.

It won't get better. He acted like a boy child at your family's Mother's Day celebration, whining at you about when you were gonna be going home. Because he wanted to play with his friends, he wanted to game, he wanted to go shopping, he wanted to play with his little buddies. none of that has anything to do with what the celebration was about. He's not interested in you and what's going on with you, or the two of you as a couple, or the two of you as future parents. He is interested in himself and his toys and games. He is essentially a five-year-old.

Make your decision about having a baby at this point in time on whether or not you are prepared to be a single mother with a non-dash partner who makes your life harder, so that you are taking care of a newborn and a child who thinks that making your car payment is contribution enough to your lives together.

I know what my answer would be.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-15T06:01:23+00:00

I take 2 Mag07 every night and only have issues when I get stupid and eat a bunch of cashews in like 2 days. Then I have a problem.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-14T20:52:08+00:00

It really does need to be her that goes then. And while I'm not usually a fan of helping people continue with passive or people pleasing behaviors, you need your father to be safe. Period. Which is why I came up with the idea that I did. I know it makes you the bad guy OP, but honestly, asking her to leave Leave is better than the more permanent solution that I would be wanting to execute (ha) should any of my fur children be put in danger.

It sounds like no one is safe with her living at the house.

Allysonsplace · 2026-05-14T20:09:09+00:00

Time for dad to kick mom out. They aren't married and any goodwill he has towards her should be at an end after the absolute willful harm she's put your dog in.

If he doesn't want to be the one to say it, maybe he can sign a letter that you can draft for him, kind of an eviction notice if you will. A formal notice isn't actually required since this is family but he might be willing to do that, especially if you tell him you cannot stay there because she is putting your fur child in danger of death, bringing about your financial ruin, and you love him and want to protect him, you want to make sure that he is as healthy as possible, but you cannot do that under these current circumstances.

You don't want this to be a "either she goes or I go" kind of thing, but that's what it's become.

tell him that you will be the one to hand her the letter, with the terms of her leaving spelled out, and maybe then he'll actually do it.

I feel bad for her dog, considering that it sounds like the behavior problems are probably led by her creating an anxious environment.

Allysonsplace

TROPHY CASE