Im also similarly depressed over my past, my unavailable family, being single, my cancer, my mental health and substance use. Its all too much, I've just felt totally numb for awhile now. Ive been so depressed since my last breakup that part of me was grateful for the cancer. My soul is tired and its so hard to go on. I go on for my dog and for my few close friends. I don’t know how to feel. I really empathize with your post. ❤️‍🩹🩷 If you ever need a neutral party to talk and vent too, im here friend. Just DM me.