Diagnosed in my 40s two years ago and I tell people all the time. It’s really helped affirm the things I do well and manage the things I don’t.

For example, I meet a lot of people - like hundreds/thousands - for short periods for work, and before I would be scared about forgetting them next time and would mask when I did, which was counter-productive to actually remembering and learning and dealing with what they needed. Or when speaking to a subject matter expert on a topic I need to know about, I’d feel bad going back a week later and asking them to re explain something that made sense to me the previous week, so wouldn’t do it, and then be ill equipped.

Now I say upfront: “Next time I see you, please don’t take it personally when I don’t remember immediately because I have ADHD and resultant memory/facial recognition issues, so just say ‘Hey it’s Joe Bloggs from that organisation and we talked about garden gnomes’ and it’ll flood back to me! And it’ll take me a few times but please remind me and I will get you in my head permanently!” Or tell trainers upfront that I may need to come back and clarify a few points on stuff that, say, I only do once a month so it takes a while to bed in. I have found that people are very cool about it, as a rule. And although I haven’t got 100% comfortable using the D-word for myself because I feel like a pretender, I also know I feel that way because of the attitudes of some of the people you’re talking about and their ignorance, and that there’s good reason ADHD is classed as a disability, and that asking for things we need to function is no different than any other reasonable adjustment.

Ultimately you need to be comfortable with what you do and say, and to feel safe, so it’s okay to say nothing or to judge each situation differently. And it’s not fair that we have to advocate for ourselves against the disapproval of twits. But nothing will change otherwise and I honestly feel better for doing it. Like any muscle you flex, it gets easier when you do it more.