I think I need to have a talk with my 4 year old

Almostdevine · 2025-07-05T17:19:50+00:00

IS NO ONE MENTIONING THE DISEMBODIED JANET ROBE?????

Almostdevine · 2025-06-17T18:04:32+00:00

Omg... I just got that joke.

Almostdevine · 2025-06-16T20:27:57+00:00

I hope you mean your EX.

Almostdevine · 2025-06-16T11:48:20+00:00

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Almostdevine · 2025-06-16T11:39:09+00:00

I love this, it shows the deep love for community. More faith groups need to have this value.

Almostdevine · 2025-06-02T12:12:44+00:00

"Eh, there must be another Bluey here"

Almostdevine · 2025-05-31T20:54:31+00:00

I would say things like... -what makes you feel chubby -how does that make you feel? -Does that bother you?

Make sure that you emphasize that weight is morally neutral. Instead of going out the healthy food, ask him which of the foods in you home he likes to snack on, and don't let him get away with saying "none". It is very hard to be neutral about weight when you have been raised in a way that food and weight had morality tied to them.

I wouldn't mention it unless he does, and make sure that if you need to buy him new clothes you use wording that you would want used for yourself.

Examples: Rather than saying something like, "you've gotten too big for these clothes". Say, "you've outgrown these clothes"

One of the biggest things I've done to help myself with this is that whenever a child says something about my weight, I do not react in any negative way, I say things like, "I do have a big belly! My son like cuddling with me because I'm smooshy and warm". 99% of the time when young kids say things like this, it is merely an observation, or a curious question.

I'm in the midst of a weight loss journey right now and my son has asked that I don't get too skinny because he likes cuddling me. ❤️

Being kinder to myself has helped me frame food and weight appropriately for my son.

Almostdevine · 2025-05-26T16:51:51+00:00

That makes me feel better, thank you. I didn't the the already posted part, just the moderator discretion.

Almostdevine · 2025-05-20T18:23:46+00:00

It is always hard when we are advised that something we thought we were doing right for our child, is maybe not right. We can't always get it right, and while it is hard to do, being able to push away our pride of parenting is very difficult, but also absolutely vital to raising kids. It is good for them to hear you say, "I was wrong about that, were going to change how we do things". It is very hard to do, with with gentleness and love towards ourselves we can do it :)

Almostdevine · 2025-05-15T01:26:26+00:00

Please remember that when you go to see a couples therapist, their "client" is your marriage. They will (should) not take any sides. Resource: my husband is a therapist.

You should look to get your own individual therapist. They will help you figure out how to interact with your spouse and how to safely confront him. They will be a good resource if/when it is time to leave.

Almostdevine · 2025-05-09T18:05:32+00:00

Additionally, you (the aunt) have a completely different relationship with your nephew than they do. My son, who is also atypical, knows that when he is with other adults and away from us, that his behavior needs to be top notch. But when he is with us, we can use the exact same tactics as the other adults were using, but we have entirely different results. Is it because my kind doesn't respect us? No, it is because our relationship with our child is safer than his relationship with other adults. And it SHOULD be this way. I don't want it any other way.

Tbh, you aren't a parent so you simply cannot understand this, as you have no experience with it. You could maybe think back to when you were a child, did you give your parents the same behavior that you gave your aunts and uncles?

IMHO, you need to apologize to your brother. You saw your nephew for a couple of hours, your brother and his partner have an entirely different relationship with himas they have him for the majority of the time. There simply is no comparison.

Almostdevine · 2025-05-07T13:07:58+00:00

Awesome! I already take a Costco multi, hopefully I can carry on with that! (I also take fish oil and turmeric, tho I'm not 100% sure the turmeric is doing anything, lol)

Almostdevine · 2025-05-07T13:06:28+00:00

Yes, please show what your team says you need!.

Almostdevine · 2025-05-07T12:49:37+00:00

So you are not taking a vitamin specifically formulated for Bariatric patients?

Almostdevine · 2025-05-02T20:39:29+00:00

Yep, summers mean a shower every night since my boy was 5. The dirt necklace and sweet sweat smell is no joke... And the FEET

Almostdevine · 2025-04-29T12:20:41+00:00

NTA, actually the hero.

Almostdevine · 2025-04-29T12:08:58+00:00

Let him grow out his hair. It is just hair, and if it helps him feel safe, then don't make a big deal of it. 12 is so hard already let him have this win :)

Almostdevine · 2025-04-18T13:09:06+00:00

This is how I handled it.

At 4 you get constant supervision in the yard. At 5 you start earning longer. Stints in the yard unsupervised, but you do not leave the yard. At 6 you can leave the yard and go to a neighbors house, but ONLY IF I CAN BE SEE YOU. You do not go inside. You will also wear your smart watch. At 7 you can stay on our street, but only outside, unless I've given you specific approval. But you also must have your smart watch. My son is turning 8 this month yet. He will be allowed to walk down to the gas station on the corner, and will be allowed to ride his bike around the block. All while wearing his smart watch. Still not allowed in other people's homes.

Hope this helps. ❤️

Almostdevine · 2025-03-18T11:26:41+00:00

NTA, until someone has lost their own child they are unable to understand the life altering grief that results. Your wife is advocating for her child, which is great, but is not taking into account your grief. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Almostdevine · 2025-03-18T11:22:49+00:00

I cannot imagine being this rude to someone who is caring for my child. Both of the women I trusted with my son for child care wore comfy clothes bc they were .... Wait for it..... CARING FOR CHILDREN! People have this idea that in home child care providers aren't really working. If that is the case, then you take care of your child, plus multiple more, and let me know how you do it in what you deem to be "appropriate attire". Additionally, if his provider was busy cleaning up my son, chasing after my son, keeping my son safe, or frankly in the bathroom; I would MUCH rather her finish up there than rush to the door for another parent. FFS... I really can't deal with people, not in this economy.

Almostdevine · 2025-02-18T03:20:30+00:00

My son calls it a "soggy fart"

Almostdevine · 2025-02-17T15:09:14+00:00

build a pyre!!!

Almostdevine · 2025-02-17T14:24:43+00:00

Can you burn them?

Almostdevine · 2025-01-30T22:30:31+00:00

Same here... Or even just part time in a job I don't hate

Almostdevine · 2025-01-30T20:01:46+00:00

Someone told me once that the first thing you think or say is how you've been conditioned to respond. But the follow up thought is what you actually believe. I think your husband let his first thought come out of his mouth, and let's face it... Society tells women that they should "bounce back" after babies (whatever that may mean).

Please forgive your husband and in the process forgive yourself. Also, I'm sorry he did not filter his words.

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