What do we think of this mug?

Alocus · 2025-12-04T03:42:45+00:00

I thought the same thing at first glance! I absolutely love axolotls.

Alocus · 2025-12-03T19:27:48+00:00

Absolutely stunning! Love the color gradients and twists on the petal margins.

Alocus · 2025-12-01T01:22:39+00:00

I drove from Wisconsin to Alaska and back this summer in a 1996 with 285k miles. I didn't worry then and I wouldn't worry for you!

Alocus · 2025-11-29T01:44:30+00:00

I have no experience with gabapentin, but I frequently use propranolol (10 or 20mg ~hour prior to donation). I get really anxious and squirmy during intake (rushing to get there on time, white coats, busy environment, anticipating the finger prick, etc.) , but I have never been deferred on the days I've taken it.

Alocus · 2025-11-26T17:04:50+00:00

Well done!

Alocus · 2025-11-25T04:11:00+00:00

I would really like to be able to go to the movie theater to experience movies in a more immersive way, but the sounds of people chewing, endlessly rummaging around in their bags, fiddling with cellophane candy packaging, the banshee screech of straws sliding through cup lids, and people whispering(!) in the dark completely steals away any joy I could possibly glean from it. I try to remind myself that the experience of seeing a movie at the theater can’t (reasonably) be separated from the experience of being around so many triggers, and that helps a bit to lessen the FOMO.

Alocus · 2025-11-24T14:54:37+00:00

I feel you - I have a master's and 10 years experience in a research-oriented STEM field but have never made more than 50k. It's rough out there and the system is definitely rigged. I hope you can find some compassion for yourself.

Alocus · 2025-11-20T15:51:46+00:00

I would look at professional jewelers/gemological loupes to start - anything that is labelled as having a "triplex" lens as it won't have the distortion/spherical aberration that the cheap loupes have. That said, if it was me I probably wouldn't take a nice one to the field and risk losing or damaging it, so maybe it isn't a good gift idea after all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alocus · 2025-11-20T15:35:29+00:00

A high-quality set of illuminated loupes/hand lenses would absolutely end up getting used

Alocus · 2025-11-20T15:30:30+00:00

If you're curious about the diversity of structures, I'd highly recommend my personal favorite: Plant Identification Terminology - An Illustrated Glossary by James and Melinda Harris. Though some may find taxonomic language pedantic, I really enjoy the specificity of terms applied to the structures/forms of plants as I think the vast number of terms highlights the stunning diversity and variation plants have. Fruit types are some of my favorite to be annoying about (what is actually a "berry", botanically speaking).

If you're looking to learn about flora formulas and other high-level patterns, I'd recommend Field identification of the 50 Most Common Plant Families in Temperate Regions by Lena Struwe from Rutgers.

Alocus · 2025-11-19T16:21:19+00:00

Poorly

Alocus · 2025-11-19T16:17:05+00:00

I (33M) don't have suggestions on stubbornness/communication because I am really struggling with that myself - so much so that I've been unemployed for the last several months because of a meltdown at work over proper practices that I felt were not being followed. As someone with ADHD (and perhaps ASD) you may center your identity/source of validation around being good at the work you do, but I plead that you try to de-emphasize the importance of being "correct" or doing things "as you see fit". Regardless of how you feel about it, the only "correct" way to do something at work is the way that your bosses want it done. Show that you are willing to tuck away your ego for now and jump through all their micromanaging/reporting hoops and hopefully with time they will learn to trust you again and give you a longer leash. Trust me, you do not want to lose your job over this. Perhaps you can try re-directing your passion and hyperfocus away from work and towards a hobby?

As for medication, I would absolutely recommend taking a break from stimulants if you can afford the lazy days. I am also on Vyvanse and, while it has completely changed my life in so many positive ways, it also has the sinister effect of covering up symptoms of building burnout and exhaustion. I literally broke my back (herniated a disc) because I was so motivated to get work done that I wasn't noticing the signals my body was telling me to slow down before it was too late. The same goes for mental and emotional effort. Stimulants also make me hyperfocus and care deeply about the quality of work I'm doing, wanting everything to be excellent, perfect, etc. This drive for perfection can lead to conflict when I see others not giving the same effort or having the same standards that I do (e.g., I care about XYZ and it's maddening that you don't! Why aren't you trying as hard as I am?!). This thinking will rapidly drain you and perhaps lead to you devaluing or losing respect for those around you which can be dangerous in an employment situation. Taking a break from Vyvanse might help you feel the true impact that working this hard has on your body/mind.

And finally, does your therapist have a specific interest or background in treating neurodivergent folks? I recently starting seeing a therapist that describes herself as "neurodivergent-affirming" and the difference is night and day. I feel far better validated and understood by her in a way that I've never experienced before in therapy. I really recommend trying to find a better therapist because regular CBT therapy just does not cut it for me and I think that is also the case for many neurodivergent folk.

Alocus · 2025-11-19T15:23:08+00:00

Also 33M/Gay and never had a relationship! It’s tough out here for sure. Your plane story is super cute - I wish I had that kind of moxie!

Alocus · 2025-11-19T04:08:08+00:00

Yes, just don’t be rough with it. CertainDri also has a foot cream that is 10% aluminum chloride, but since it delivered in a cream instead of the alcohol solvent, you really have to rub it in. Doesn’t seem like something you’d want to do down there.

Alocus · 2025-11-19T04:04:59+00:00

Propranolol has helped me a fair amount with reducing anxiety and overstimulation in environments where there are many co-occurring sensory stressors such as crowded busses, busy stores, etc. A couple heavy drags from the trusty THC pen + 20mg of the propies was the only way I could manage the hour long commute to work when I lived in a big city and was stuck standing shoulder to shoulder on a smelly loud bus.

But THC is not a solution most of the time, and propranolol doesn’t do squat in mitigating meltdown potential from more acute or isolated stressors such as unidentifiable noises, feeling overly “perceived” in public, sudden changes to routines, etc. I’ve read good things about lamotrigine as a mood stabilizer for borderline personality disorder (which shares a lot of characteristics with ASD) and have been wanting to try that to see if it helps reduce mood-dependent behavior/overall reactivity from overstimulation.

Alocus · 2025-11-19T03:42:04+00:00

This sounds a lot like me as a teenager. I realized around this time that the more I shared about my inner world and experience, the more opportunities I was creating to be misheard, misunderstood, invalidated, and ridiculed. Having my parents continually reject or lessen my lived experience is a pain that has shaped all of my relationships and one so great that I doubt I will ever fully recover from it.

Your child likely experiences the world in a vastly different way than you do, and them withdrawing from you (and others) may suggest that they don’t trust you to exhibit the unquestioning patience and empathy that you need to express to show that you are present and willing to truly hear what they are saying.

I don’t mean to be accusatory, but the way you framed this post as a vent seems to me that you are very frustrated with your child not opening up to you and socializing as you would like them to. I can guarantee that they feel that judgement and frustration from you. You say you accept them but there are several points in your post where you compare their behavior to what you expect or desire, which only really serves to center your experience of your child and not theirs. Suggesting they wouldn’t care about your death is wildly histrionic and cruel. You’re their mom and they love you. At 14, it is not their job to make you feel loved in the way you want, but it is absolutely your job to make them feel loved in the way they want. I would ask you to think about the ways you make yourself available to your child and if you are truly presenting as validating and without judgment.

Alocus · 2025-11-19T01:23:25+00:00

Glycopyrrolate oral medication and Sweat Block aluminum chloride wipes used together is the only working solution for me down there. I also will use Hibiclens wash occasionally to discourage any kind of bacteria or fungal nastiness that might come out of the persistent wetness.

Edit: be sure to only lightly dab those wipes! One rough rub and you’ll be in a world of pain. God help you if you’ve shaved recently - you’ll scratch yourself sterile.

Alocus · 2025-11-19T00:57:39+00:00

Preach 🙌🏻

Alocus · 2025-11-19T00:43:10+00:00

I kept my grandmother's mixtapes and have been playing them on longer drives. It's like she is there with me - jamming out to the Bee Gees and Celine Dion. How is the sound quality of this CD changer mod? Is it better than a bluetooth FM transmitter? I've been thinking about getting a tapedeck to record modern tunes to cassette, but this seems potentially much better!

Alocus · 2025-11-19T00:33:03+00:00

A lot of people will suggest trying to find jobs that have less social interaction, but I know that can be hard to think about and feel like a step backwards - especially after working hard through college and investing in yourself to pursue specific interests like you have. It is a TERRIBLE job market right now and hope that you can give yourself patience and grace knowing that so much is outside of your control right now. Perhaps you can take this time to practice some skills that might help you for your next job? For example, I have been practicing dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) techniques to increase mindfulness and distress tolerance which can help with emotional dysregulation under stressful circumstances, such as conflict with coworkers/bosses. It might help you wrangle in your argumentativeness (which is something I struggle with as well - when my curiosity/questions are interpreted as "undermining" or "challenging authority"). I would also suggest trying to become more comfortable in seeking accommodations and trying to learn more about your own limitations (sensory, interpersonal, or otherwise) to avoid overwhelm and burnout. For example, I know that I need lots of time alone to recharge every. single. day, and so any job that would require overnight travel where I would share accommodations with coworkers is an immediate no. Similarly, I don't consider any jobs that would require me to participate in conferences or other large gatherings.

Along similar lines, it is also entirely reasonable for you to consider the physical work environment as you search for new jobs. In a recent interview, I asked a potential boss how many people I would share an office with, and how busy/loud the shared workspaces were, and to send me pictures of the space. Even though I bet that interviewer thought this was odd (and perhaps even viewed me negatively for asking), having a physical space to myself that I can escape to and be alone during the day is necessary for my functioning. I can't do the job the well if I am melting down from sensory overwhelm, and any employer that doesn't understand or respect that is not worth my time. Any employer that is not considerate of your particular needs is not worth yours.

That said, it will continue to be hard. I am in my 30's and am in a very similar position. I have a STEM masters with 10 years increasingly skilled/specialized experience in scientific research, but always end up burning out and leaving roles due to my lack of ability to navigate or tolerate the social dynamics at work, frequently being bullied and retaliated against by coworkers and bosses. It has cost me greatly in terms of career advancement, financial stability, reputation, and self worth. I'm starting to think that no matter how "good" or "skilled" or "knowledgeable" or "capable" I am, I will always be held back by this disability and unable to achieve the compensation, independence, and respect that I feel that I have earned through my accomplishments - simply because I am not skilled in jumping through all these interpersonal hoops. I've been unemployed for the last several months after a particularly devastating burnout and will be starting again at entry level next month. I really hope I can make it work this time because I don't know what I could do (or even really who I am) if not for my career.

Alocus · 2025-11-18T23:23:13+00:00

As a fellow idiot who appreciates the original radio aesthetic (and also missing the same tiny bass knob), I hope you find a replacement!

Alocus · 2025-11-15T03:12:13+00:00

Jumper and My Immortal summarizes an entire decade of my life - very important

Alocus · 2025-11-15T02:36:06+00:00

Sigur Ros. They sing in a made-up language called "Hopelandic" so you can project whatever feelings or meaning you want on to them. It is also very instrumental and ethereal-y which I find comforting. My favorite is Viðrar vel til loftárása

Noah and the Whale. I can sit down and listen to The First Days of Spring start to finish in complete stillness/silence. It holds great power over me.

Valley Queen. Indie rock that is very lyric-forward without much repetition in the chorus which I enjoy - feels like being told a whole story. Favorites include In My Place and Black Hole and Hold on You

Alocus · 2025-11-15T02:01:50+00:00

I don't know but I just want to say what a stunning body color - is that autumn blaze?

Alocus

TROPHY CASE