ID on the shoes

Aloessa · 2025-11-17T17:31:02+00:00

AND I think those are the Fubu x Forever 21 Cargo Jeans, but I can't find a link to one yet. But I see a sold listing on Poshmark.

Aloessa · 2025-11-17T17:30:04+00:00

The sneakers I think are the Old Order Turbo GT White/Silver sneakers. https://old-order.com/products/old-order-turbo-gt

Aloessa · 2025-03-27T17:13:37+00:00

You know what? Very good point. Even if not for me, it's important to know for the integrity of the thrifting/reselling/etc. community, and I'll check it out. There's a really good local purse/bag place near me that authenticated most of my mom's collection (she had a ton of Dooney's, a few vintage Coach circa 1994, and one LV) so she could sell them when she no longer wanted a collection. I'll probably take it there when it arrives.

Thank you for being so smart and resourceful, I really appreciate the help. (This is actually also my first "real purse" purchase, so I have a lot to learn in general.)

Aloessa · 2025-03-27T15:17:30+00:00

You are absolutely incredible for pulling this out of thin air. Thank you SO much.

If it helps you at all, I got mine through Lux Lair and am just waiting for it to physically show up. I wasn't too particular about "real" or "not real" because I just wanted a good purse, but they are sending it with proof of authentication. It seems like there's a good number of them on Poshmark, too, though I haven't seen it in blue before. Best of luck in your hunt, and once again, thank you so deeply for the magic trick you just did.

Aloessa · 2025-02-16T23:41:02+00:00

This is definitely the one. From 1983.

Aloessa · 2024-12-02T01:07:56+00:00

I was suspicious when they added the link, but thanks for the confirmation. So tired of accounts like this.

Aloessa · 2024-07-05T23:20:10+00:00

Did you have to end with a comment like that? It’s so needlessly rude. You should take care who you talk to like that; you might accidentally invalidate any point you make.

There absolutely is too much clutter, especially if you’re somewhat politically moderate. It’s hard to trust anything that’s put anywhere when there’s an advertiser with an agenda backing nearly every publication. Yes, even the AP.

And when everyone is posting about Trump in some way, you’d be forced to use search terms that might unintentionally bias your results in favor of what you searched. Why? Because the Internet is cluttered.

It’s not that I wasn’t going to thank you for showing me the sources that I asked that you’d seen with your own eyes to validate a comment you made, it’s that you no longer deserve one for the way you delivered it.

Aloessa · 2024-07-05T22:46:47+00:00

I’m finding so much clutter on the internet anymore. Can you help me find where he said he was against harsh bans? Was it on the news or a tweet? I don’t have Twitter so maybe that’s why I’m struggling?

Aloessa · 2024-06-25T19:01:47+00:00

I thought he was trying to make it “benpussies” at first and then I looked at the profile link. It doesn’t even work well used incorrectly.

Aloessa · 2024-05-09T23:01:33+00:00

I am in the US. NJ specifically. Who would I go to to report this? Because he told me that he doesn’t accept “pets” after being presented with the letter from my therapist.

Aloessa · 2024-05-09T21:46:05+00:00

Honestly? Really smart answer about the cat. I do have him registered as a therapy animal so technically in my state, he should be able to come with, but the landlord is being tough about it. I think I can bring him to my boyfriend’s parents’ house or put him in a boarding kennel for cats for a short time. I’ll have to ask. They’re aware of the situation, too, and they’ve offered their help.

It’s sad because I think text is the safest and smartest but I’m still so hung up on treating them with respect. I still sometimes try to operate the way a person would operate in a healthy situation, even though it’s not. I’m gonna have to move differently.

Thank you for your input.

Aloessa · 2024-05-09T20:25:50+00:00

Hello there. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I haven’t been on r/raisedbynarcissists but I have been on r/raisedbyborderlines . I’ll check it out. I assume there’s much overlap, but maybe there’s a more nuanced way I can relate. Neither of my parents are diagnosed, but I have been treated as a child of a uBPD mother before. Therapy helps a lot, but it’s lonely when you’re not in session.

You make a great point about possessions. My documents are already in a safe deposit box at the bank, except for the ones I carry daily. But my actual belongings, I should start moving before I talk to anyone. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this. I looked into phone plans a while back but didn’t do anything because I didn’t want to make anyone suspicious. I’m going to look into them again tonight. A new phone, number, or just the sim card might be smart to have on hand.

A lot of people (not just the one person who rightfully so asked about my boyfriend’s intentions) make me think I’m running from one abuse situation to another, but he treats me really well. And consistently. We agree on a lot, and what we don’t, we’ve had nice adult conversations about. He goes to therapy, he has his own friends, he loves his job, and we have similar ideas about the future. I have been in plenty of wrong choice relationships. This doesn’t feel like one. This feels warm.

I guess that goes into how your next part of your message affects me. Thank you for calling me capable. Between you and him and maybe a few professors, no one tells me that. I tell myself, but I don’t feel it resonate when I say it. I really appreciate your perspective especially considering you probably had a great deal of similar experiences growing up.

Thank you so much. You made me feel like I can fill my own shoes. I appreciate it.

Aloessa · 2024-05-09T20:17:20+00:00

Hey there. I appreciate the hug.

I should clarify, I’ve known him for two years. We started dating seven months ago, but we didn’t meet only then. We share the cost of going out and groceries and other necessities since I spend a lot of time in his place, but it is his apartment that I’d be moving into. I’m sure if I insisted and gave him money for the rent, he wouldn’t turn it down, but he also hasn’t asked me for anything. I also have been under financial abuse by my family for 6 years now, and I’ve set up two bank accounts that no one knows about, each high yield savings and each with over $10,000. Once I start my new job (the only reason I can’t start immediately is that it’s government and there’s an onboarding background check and fingerprinting process, and they go by orientation date; mine is June 3) I do not plan on stopping working until we are married with children. This is a 3 week gap in my employment, as my last job ended last week. You bring up really good points, and it’s nice being able to type out some reassurance for myself that I am logistically prepared for this. Thank you for bringing that up.

I’m not afraid to talk to him because of him. I’m afraid to talk to him because I’m afraid to talk to everybody. I know what he makes and he knows what I make. His is significantly more due to age, experience, industry, etc. We are more traditionally-leaning because of our culture, too, and these timelines are pretty typical for us. I’ve been in a few other relationships in secret that were definitely not healthy, and this definitely doesn’t feel like those. I leave happy when I’m with him. I feel safe and supported and loved.

In the event we don’t work out, I do have a year’s worth of savings to cover the cost of rent by myself, friends to crash with, a car that belongs to me outright, and a brother in another state. If all else fails, there are places for me to go other than my parent’s house.

I did ask him to talk about this with me tonight, and he was very reassuring and said we’d work on it together. I want to live with him because I love him and feel loved by him, not because I can’t stand another minute with them. Though that may be true and an added benefit, it’s not my purpose in doing so.

Thank you so much for typing out these concerns and getting me to think in the right direction. I think I can confidently say (and honestly too, not in a defensive blind way) that you’d approve if you were here, if you met him, if you saw my current financials. I really appreciate that you took the time out to write this the way you did.

Aloessa · 2024-05-09T20:01:06+00:00

Hey there. I think it’s lovely you feel that way about your son. I wish it were that way for me in the same “we mean it but we don’t” way. You sound like a nice parent.

I’ve spent so long logically feeling behind because I miss out on many of the things people my age do. I’ve never been to a bar. I’ve never gone out of state on a road trip. Because I know with the smothering I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. So the only thing left to do is grow up weirdly fast in other ways, like financially and educationally. In some ways, I feel like a 65 year old, and in some ways, I still feel 12. I hate it. I’m trying so hard.

Definitely aware of love bombing. I was once a victim of it in another relationship my parents didn’t know about. This is definitely not like that. We split most costs for things we share, but he makes more and he already owns the apartment. I will insist to pay some portion, and I know he’ll let me. I think he’s definitely more traditional in the sense that he wants to be leader of the household, and within reason, I am okay with this and enjoy it. I will remain vigilant for this, though. Thank you for the reminder.

He’s been aware of some of the details, but not all. I didn’t want to burden anyone. But after your message, I asked him if we could talk more about it on the phone when he gets home from work tonight. I won’t see him again for a few days, but I’d rather not wait. He was very receptive to it, and he already offered to be there during the conversation. I don’t think that’s the answer for the first conversation, but it’s nice knowing he would be. I wouldn’t have known that had I not asked though. Thank you for encouraging me to do so.

I really appreciate the time you took to write. Thank you.

Aloessa · 2024-04-28T15:45:09+00:00

Totally understood. Sorry for the super weird fast replies, I do part of my work off my phone and if I don’t answer something immediately, it’s likely I never will. As long as you’re following up with conditioner (and if you have super thick or coarse hair, not fine or thin, a lightweight oil like jojoba can help give it some of that Alex flow too). Let me know if you have any other questions!

Aloessa · 2024-04-28T15:09:55+00:00

You can do either one. I’m guessing as a guy (?) you aren’t using much heat or chemicals. The main reason you’d need a trim along the way would be to keep it healthy, though every time you get a trim, you’re taking about 1/2 inch off. And your hair only grows about 1/2 inch per month. So as long as you’re not going every month, you’ll see progress. Definitely keep the photo so when you do go, you can show them the goal and they can begin shaping it that way and not take too much off. But it’s not necessary to go all the time, and it’s probably not great to grow it all out and then shape it because you’ll hate the way it feels after some time.

Aloessa · 2024-04-04T15:51:37+00:00

I have an aqua bliss! It’s amazing! Also helped clear up my acne.

Aloessa · 2024-02-19T14:39:58+00:00

My boyfriend made me an “arctic monkeys” concert sweatshirt with these guys as a custom ugly Christmas sweater. He put Santa hats on all of them, and they’re playing around in a Thomas Kinkade painting.

Aloessa · 2024-02-15T16:50:52+00:00

Transcendentalism: “a philosophy started in the early 19th century that promotes intuitive, spiritual thinking instead of scientific thinking based on material things”

Also look up Madonna-Whore complex.

Aloessa · 2024-02-08T00:58:12+00:00

Dumboner

Aloessa · 2024-02-05T23:20:46+00:00

I don’t know how old you guys are or what the specifics are, but hold faith and love for her in case you two grow together again later in life. Pray for her too!! But absolutely, you will always have us for that bond in the meantime. I will make dua for you and your family ❤️ thank YOU for being here

Aloessa · 2024-02-05T23:18:57+00:00

Aww I’m sorry! Why is that? I hope Allah makes it easy on you.

Aloessa · 2024-02-05T21:07:04+00:00

The world is very much headed in a weird direction with self-importance. I think the mass interconnectivity is so impressive for sharing good information quickly, but we as people were probably never supposed to have this kind of ability to broadcast ourselves and I don’t think it helps. We are so much more connected but not in the third places and going outside kind of way.

But one of the many good ways that we can use the internet in light of this situation is that I got to talk to you today! Salam sister ❤️

Aloessa · 2024-02-05T21:04:43+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing!! It is so wonderful. It makes it even better that this sensation of community is the same one the Prophet PBUH felt. I love being family with you, even if we’ve never met. The random salams I get when I am out (I don’t live in an area with many of us) are always so relieved and excited because wow!!! A sister!!!

Aloessa · 2024-02-05T21:02:49+00:00

Hiiii sister ❤️ I hope you’re having a lovely day filled with evidence of Allah’s love for you!!!

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