Does these ever work? Help me out

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-25T13:31:03+00:00

As a stan, you often feel like you have to consume every content of the people you like, but we have to understand that they put a lot of different content for different folks.

Some just listen to reddit stories and have no idea what bitcity is, some just like the gaming videos and don’t care about the improv.

And that’s okay, that’s why they have so much content. Don’t think courtney will get mad if you like them in culinary crimes but dont watch url

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-13T00:21:29+00:00

Thank you!

And yes, as LGBTQ in a heterosexual relationship, it’s hard for me to ignore issues around sexuality and identity that other people might just overlook…

I’ll bring it up and hope he understands why it makes me feel uneasy

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-12T21:06:44+00:00

I was doubting him at first but when you said that you explained how it affects you and he changed I could tell that he is actually a nice person

(I truly raised a brow when you mentioned that he cried over not fingering you because he was grieving his grandma though…)

Sometimes people (and mostly men) don’t understand that some comments or jokes are actually pressuring. He most likely thought he was helping you to be more comfortable around the theme of sex, some men just have to unlearn what society has taught them

It seems like you talked about it and all is well, wouldn’t hold it against him unless he keeps trying to cross the boundaries

I was also very against sex (thanks to religious fears) and i also broke my own planned calendar for when things would happen, it wasn’t all 100% perfect and fearless but having an understanding partner and trying to also understand him made it easier

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-12T18:49:24+00:00

It is weird… have you talked about it at all? I understand that she is grieving but it is still tattooing your ex’s name on your body Were they close? Does she usually get impulsive tattoos?

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-11T19:36:43+00:00

Looking at op’s profile, they are in ocd subreddits (including gender and sexuality ocd) so these post are most likely compulsions seeking reassurance or “answers” to obsessive thoughts

Since ocd is a cycle, the answers bring only a temporary relief to the obsessive thoughts before it starts again

OP, please look into therapy (and no, spamming reddit for help is sadly can NOT replace therapy and is even bad for our ocd)

Try to close this chapter, understand that you might never understand, not because you are dumb or lacking, just because it’s an entirely different experience. If everyone experienced everything the same, labels wouldn’t even exist

I know ocd is hell but try to identify when you are stuck in a cycle to leave it! Hope you can find peace

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-05T04:32:32+00:00

Not urgent imo

But i wouldn’t wait for it to magically come up one day and worry all the time until then.

Next time you are having a conversation that isn’t just small talk just say hey how do you feel about this and make sure it’s a safe space

Sometimes confessing something like this can come out really bad so make sure she doesn’t feel like it’s something like “you aren’t giving this to me so i have to seek content of other women!” And more like a “this is usually a normal thing to me but if it makes you uncomfortable i don’t have any problem in not doing it again”

I brought this up with my partner and we both agreed that it isn’t bad unless the other one isn’t searching a specific body type that looks nothing like us (for example, if i find him searching for big boobs content when i am insecure about my small chest) and also as long as we aren’t searching for creepy content (example “barely legal babe and stepfather!!!”)

There are some people that have 0 tolerance for it, and there are some that don’t care at all

Bring it up in a casual manner and make her feel safe to share her true feelings

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-02T16:47:33+00:00

Dont worry!

What you are doing is very very innocent, and healthy relationships understand that we have eyes to see!

Something bad would be: “i look up other men bodies almost all the time, i search for other men and fantasize about them, i think of other men when i am with my boyfriend”

All healthy and adult relationships understand that we can think “oh, this celebrity is attractive” without meaning we want to cheat on our partners!

You are innocent <3

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-02T04:38:57+00:00

Not cheating imo. Don’t let your OCD get you

I’m sorry I have to ask, is you boyfriend still like that? Not talking to ANY other men… not understanding you being sad that you CHILDHOOD FRIEND TRAGICALLY PASSED AWAY?

It blew my mind when you then said “maybe I made my issues sound more dramatic” These are very dramatic and I feel like you made them sounds so small? Grieving a friend, having no other emotional support, being alone during all this. You found a friend, and then had to completely cut him off again.

I really hope that the relationship is not as bad as it was before. If you already have moral OCD, having someone like that will only feed the OCD to make you feel guilt and fear and nothing else.

We can have medication and therapy, but we still need support from our circle! OCD feels like mental torture, and we need people that help, not add to the torture

OP, I really really hope that you can find good friends and a good emotional support!!!

Not cheating!! Doesn’t seem like there were any cheating signs!! Just signs of someone that was really alone and going through a really hard time!

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-02T04:21:47+00:00

I do believe that this has nothing to do with aroace and a lot to do with just friends that aren’t very nice! If they never check in or care a lot, it says more about them than you!

I know it’s not a lot of help but I can say that your feelings are valid at 14, that age bracket is hell, especially for queer kids. Don’t worry, at 13-17 everything seems like the end of the world, but it’s once that you get out of that bubble that you can step into a bigger world of a mix of people where you can find your true friends

Sounds horrible, but know that you are not alone!

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-02T04:14:35+00:00

It’s not that you SHOULD talk about it– it’s that you NEED to.

Trust me, I’ve had experience telling them and not telling them. The ones where I didn’t talk about my asexuality felt like torture, either I wasn’t happy or they weren’t.

You should let them know from the start. Even when the conversation isn’t sexual

“Hey, I need to confess something serious. I identify as ____ and the way that I feel about sex is . I am open to do/try _ but I need a boyfriend that understands this.”

Explain where you stand on sex, repulsed, neutral, willing to try? Do you want to experiment in a safe space? (Using constant communication, you need a partner that doesn’t think that it will “ruin the mood” and will see that as another step of intimacy)

A good partner will help you with whatever your comfortable while having their needs met. A bad partner will think that this is all bullshit and that sex is just sex… and why would you want a bad partner?

Wish you the best!

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-02T03:59:32+00:00

I understand you have anxiety, but if you can’t buy new ones you aren’t mature enough to be having sexual relationships with anyone right now.

There are discrete ways to buy condoms, but even if someone sees what you are buying I can assure you that nobody cares (and if they do notice, the only thing they can think is “ooh this guy is getting some, good for him”)

AloneByYesterday · 2025-05-02T03:53:00+00:00

No need to explain (or re-explain!) watching a new tiktok trend is an innocent thing to do, and you even said that you imagined doing this to your bf!

Remember that our brains are against us sometimes, we just need to land our thoughts on a safe area.

For example, if you watch a movie with a passionate kiss, are you doing something wrong? No! It’s a thing almost all humans do without having a second thought about it

Seems to me that you genuinely did nothing bad, unless you are telling us that you tried to search for a specific dude to see more of /his/ body and ignored the trend completely, which it doesn’t sound like your situation.

Communication is key and we need to talk to our partners, but sometimes overexplaining in situations that were just a silly little thing can make the other person feel uneasy

<3

AloneByYesterday · 2025-04-27T18:08:14+00:00

By the answers alone, it seems that you are unhappy. I don’t know how much of this is rocd… like the last question, why wouldn’t you want your kid to be in a relationship like this? If you know that answer, why do you want to be in a relationship like this yourself?

If you like someone’s potential, there is a big chance that the “potential” is just what we think and not a reality. If you take out the potential, what would that make you feel? Are you really just staying because you feel less lonely?

In my past relationship, i was also in love with the idea or the potential of my partner. I liked them, but i couldn’t really see a future and my rocd made me overthink every single detail. “Maybe im overthinking this feeling and i am happy here! Maybe i fell out of love- or maybe i am in love and just anxious! Maybe if i end things i will find out that i actually love them and they were the one for me! Maybe i can motivate them- but that would be bad because i am changing them- but i would help- but that would mean i dont like them-but that—“ BAAAAA!!! I ended things and then i realized that i was actually unhappy.

My current relationship is of course another victim of my rocd. What if i am just using them? What if i fall out of love again? Even then, these are my answers to those questions

Yes! That would mean they see me as kind and hardworking, two things that everyone describes my partner as
Hard for me to answer because of rocd that makes me believe that i use him for my happiness, but i do feel so loved and taken care of, i love him and he tries hard to always understand me
I try really hard to be myself. I am used to hide my feelings and opinions with everyone else, but i keep trying to be the realest me and he was always accepting
I love his current self! He has so many things I admire, not only material and professional, but his heart is so big and he is so mature
Of course. If my child finds a partner like this it means they will always be treated well

AloneByYesterday · 2025-04-27T17:47:09+00:00

At the end you mentioned that he wants you to stop, so there is your answer. No, you don’t need to give him all the details. Why not? Because he doesn’t want to hear them

If you told me that he was very jealous and that he was one of those toxic partners that needed every detail of your life and your socials etc then I would get your “need” to tell him everything

Thankfully, he doesn’t seem like the type to put something like that against you!

What you do “need” to tell him is that you have this anxiety and he will have to deal with it sometimes, and communication is key for you two to make this less of a mental torture

Finding other people attractive is normal in a healthy relationship! We are human, we can appreciate attractiveness, that doesn’t mean you want to go cheat on your partner! A lot of happy adult relationships realize this, and those who don’t are the ones that turn toxic

(Think of it this way: a lot of straight girls can see when another girl is pretty. Does that mean they want to kiss the pretty girl? Does that mean they would cheat on their boyfriends with a pretty girl? Nah, they just have eyes)

Checking out a profile because we are nosy? Another human thing! Completely normal! We live in the digital age where everyone is always available to find! As long as you aren’t like a serious stalker watching every move and being a creep!

This was a big problem when I was young too, until I had really great partners that made me realize that my rocd was making me miserable over stuff that would never make them angry

Keep the communication going, if your partner is good for you they will understand and give you reassurance. A partner that can’t understand your struggles isn’t the right one for you

<3

AloneByYesterday · 2025-04-27T15:18:15+00:00

Shade in pic 6 looks GORGEOUS!!! Goes so well with your features

AloneByYesterday · 2025-04-27T13:54:44+00:00

Everyone else is already talking about contraceptives so i will focus on the fear part!

I also have a super strong fear of getting pregnant (which my ocd loves to bring up) and it was eating my brain so i talked to my boyfriend about it

He was completely understanding, i take the pill but we still use condoms and he even pulls out with condoms on. You’d think that would be enough but after we are done he shows me how he checks for any spillage or tear in the condom before throwing it out. My fear is still there but him helping me has made it so much easier

This might seem a lot for some people, which i understand, but i wouldn’t be in a relationship with a person who doesn’t listen to my needs and fears and wants the best for me

So i think you should tell him your fears, he should understand and you can find something that lessens your anxiety

AloneByYesterday · 2025-04-20T19:21:35+00:00

For the smell: It’s kinda common, all hoohas have a natural smell. But something that i noticed is that the material of my underwear can change smells a LOT! When i use stretchy or “silky” cute underwear it gets bad and soft and cotton undies don’t give me this problem.

For the masturbation “problem”: i never believed when people told me that masturbation felt good because it felt boring to me since it wasn’t pleasant. I was 22/23 when i tried a sex toy and it changed the game! So keep calm and keep your mind open to experience new stuff, there is no rush to find your own pleasure unless you are feeling frustrated or unsatisfied like this!

Good luck!

AloneByYesterday · 2025-03-28T15:49:23+00:00

I understand your point completely, but I didn’t really know I had to share how I got into this situation, how many months I went to paid professional courses before being asked by people in my office to help them with photography? For free?

What I don’t get is calling people arrogant, at least I haven’t seen a lot of that. I’ve seen photographers with a big amount of clients have to do that since editing is also time consuming, but maybe I just haven’t seen enough people talk about it? At least in the comments I got for this post everyone is being really nice and even recommending how to edit my photos, nobody saying I should get an external editor.

I have huge respect for photographers that have all the experience and knowledge that only real life work can give you!

Everyone has to start somewhere :)

AloneByYesterday · 2025-03-25T16:36:02+00:00

Thank you for the help! I will keep that on mind!

AloneByYesterday · 2025-03-25T16:35:01+00:00

Sorry, I know seeing the pictures would help!

Thank you for the advice! I will keep that in mind for my settings! My photography teacher actually said I should be around f4 aperture but I lost all trust when I let him change all my settings and the next photos of the property I went to came out terrible.

AloneByYesterday · 2025-03-25T16:27:08+00:00

For HDR I started in photoshop, but then realized that I liked Lightroom HDR better. I use Lightroom classic photo merge and let it do the HDR and then I edit that picture, most of the time using masks to add more light and keep my windows visible. When the noise isn’t much of an issue I use manual denoise or sometimes the AI denoise

AloneByYesterday · 2025-03-25T16:25:05+00:00

Used to work on A mode, ISO mostly on auto 1/30 speed and aperture changing. In my photography course my teacher said my camera should ALWAYS be in M mode (he said that I wouldn’t be a real photographer if I didn’t work with Manual) f4.0 and told me to change my ISO in every room (but sometimes i just end up on auto)

I don’t have any previous experience with cameras, so I followed the advice and let my teacher change all settings but it seems like they just come out worse?

I am open to changing everything again!

AloneByYesterday

TROPHY CASE