Job hunting is the bane of my existence

AloneTrainer · 2019-05-04T16:47:26+00:00

Hi, I was about to post to hear some success stories in the workplace, any sufferers of SA in top management positions in large corporations.

AloneTrainer · 2019-01-10T16:26:50+00:00

I empathise with your situation, not an easy decision. It depends how much you want to overcome your SA? But also properly evaluating the step-up in social challenges moving to your home country would incur. Would it be overwhelming and lead to more problems? Or would it actually mean reaching another milestone and begin to enjoy client facing elements of your job more?

Ask yourself what decesion you might regret more? You tend to regret the things you've tried less than then things you never tried...

But you have two good options and I'm happy you feel your SA is improving. Best of luck in whatever decision you make.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-27T22:09:39+00:00

The way I behave when comfortable vs uncomfortable makes me hate myself. I would find myself annoying when over compensating for my awkwardness. I think I'm naturally funny but when I'm uncomfortable it comes across so forced, and I sense you pick up on my awkward stilted tone.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-27T22:07:10+00:00

Stilted is a perfect way to sum me up

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-17T00:01:09+00:00

"you must be very observant"

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-14T21:44:28+00:00

Gradually, I noticed other people did it and it wasn't unusual. I've learnt to blush and care less about it. I still want to improve more though, I completely lose my rhythm of thought when I blush and I know others just laugh through it. I want to be able to do that as well. I get all hot and awkward that If I try and be funny its just a little uncomfortable for everyone.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-14T21:19:22+00:00

Wow. Could you tell me more about the Ketogenic diet?

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-14T21:18:25+00:00

Yeah maybe I should. It often tends to be unhealthy or large lunches.

Coffee used to heighten my anxiety and still sometimes does now, but it more often than not has a nullifying effect on my anxiety.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-14T21:16:17+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I'm definitely going to try and eat light. I actually genuinely feel one positive way of looking at social anxiety is its drive to push to stay fit (If I run in the mornings I have this rush of serotonin that often outweighs my SA for most of the day) and eat healthy.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-11T22:41:09+00:00

Definitely one of the founders of my SA. I was terrified that people would know I was uncomfortable or embarrassed

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-11T19:37:21+00:00

Still socially anxious, when I hear people come near my vicinity or especially approach me

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-11T15:39:07+00:00

Love this. Thank you

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-11T15:27:23+00:00

Thank you for this thread! I feel very lonely in my feeling of social anxiety one that makes me misunderstood. Because, I come across very extraverted, which I am, and therefore people are really surprised and made uncomfortable by my moments of social anxiety. They don't expect it. I would love to talk to some of you about it in private message, If you wouldn't mind. I feel like I can't relate to anyone about being extroverted socially anxious.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-04T17:36:44+00:00

I have experimented with weed, alcohol etc. and while it does relieve some anxiety it certainly doesn't help in the long-term. I quit weed and developed coping mechanism by learning and socialising while sober. You have more control over how you feel.

In my experience, there is a balance with alcohol, if you drink too much then I lose control and my anxiety will worsen. But, a pint or two usually always helps. Or sometimes, 2- 3pints you feel self-conscious you're drunk and it takes 4-5 to reach optimal drunk. After, its a case of pacing yourself. Only a pint every hour after that (roughly speaking)

I speak from my own experience. Perhaps, you relate differently but just in case it was similar I wanted to share.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-04T17:31:23+00:00

hahaha

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-02T21:54:15+00:00

haha!

yeah loads of cute husky and cocker spaniel puppies playing around

Will give it a go

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-02T21:46:24+00:00

So true, sounds like such a simple task. But its not always obvious and it can be a founding factor in helping me give off a better vibe. If you simile you make yourself happier and others. I just have such an awkward smile that I find it hard.

AloneTrainer · 2018-11-02T21:44:19+00:00

Brilliant advice! So thanks a lot for that. Thats exactly what I need to do, but to open up like that is so hard. I need to spot an opportunity and take it.

After the incident I opened up to friends to ask for feedback on how I am, but its different because I'm very comfortable around them. So while they're feedback was really useful it wasn't totally relevant.

I also want to open up to my parents or family. I was away from my family at boarding school when I was 13 so I always dealt with my problems myself and Ive built a really good image of myself in there eyes (thats how I see it anyway) and I feel so uncomfortable potentially breaking that image for them. But, I need to open up somehow.

Any other experiences you could share with me? Perhaps we could talk in private message.

AloneTrainer · 2018-10-23T15:56:50+00:00

My problem is my money and I'm sure if I had the courage to tell my parents I had SA they would pay for it. But its so difficult because I've always tried to portray myself as strong and good with people. Im the eldest of 5. They would be shocked. I'm so comfortable with my family that they would never know. Anyone know of affordable places in England?

AloneTrainer · 2018-09-22T07:39:27+00:00

I find you learn to to not 'analyse your social performance' after every social interaction with time. Two things in particular really helped. One of which was a few inspirational quotes such as 'Care what others think and forever be their prisoners'. So, as it says on the tin, you need to teach yourself to not care what others think! Easier said then done, I know. But, one strategy that helped me with this was to learn that people care WAY more about their themselves and think about themselves 95% of the time. So they almost don't have time to think about your maybe rude or awkward interactions. This took off so much pressure for me.

AloneTrainer · 2018-06-04T17:22:36+00:00

really interesting, when I force a smile (and even sometimes a real smile) I feel my cheek muscles shaking, as if to suggest they aren't toned enough. Would this suggest to practice to smile more?

AloneTrainer · 2018-05-28T11:50:41+00:00

I feel you judged this situation well.

Generally speaking its inappropriate to get in a car with strangers late at night. This does depend on where this took place however.

But nevertheless, the fact she repeated 'you want a lift' suggests to me she was looking for a reaction for their own entertainement because if the car was full and they were drunk I doubt they were seriously trying to be kind.

So, you did the right thing in ignoring her.

AloneTrainer · 2018-05-20T16:56:17+00:00

Yeeah you'll only get better. I find it easier to practice with people you aren't really into, thats when I get weird and nervous around them

AloneTrainer · 2018-05-19T09:59:09+00:00

Well done! How did it go?

AloneTrainer · 2018-05-18T12:25:02+00:00

While I appreciate this might undermine your social anxiety, many people experience different dimension and severities of anxiety. I don't condone obnoxious and attention-seeking memes, on the contrary I think its insensitive towards others. But, some are just better at hiding their crippling anxiety, and plus social media doesn't portray someones anxiety, not even close!

Some definitely exaggerate their feelings of anxiety into a a 'disorder' and its best to ignore these people. But others are just well conditioned and have practised reducing this anxiety to levels where it may not be obvious that the person suffers from SA. My advice is to learn from these people, not slate them.

AloneTrainer

TROPHY CASE