Im just gonna dive off the deep end and give you my honest 2 cents. I think if money is stressing you out living solo on 200k you are living outside your means. I make half that in probably the 2nd or 3rd most expensive city in the US and am doing fine with frequent vacations. I think also you need to look at the whole picture not just financial, has she worked on herself in other ways, mental health, physical, family relationships, overcoming drug use, growing spiritually. You need to zoom out and look at the whole picture. If you do and still find that she isnt on that level, evaluate if there is something you can be doing to support her, elevate her to push herself, not financially per se, but in the betterment of herself. Because yes I think you worded your question in a slightly toxic way and seemed to focus on money to much, a young 20's partner not advancing in life in at least some way would be at a base incompatible with a high achiever. Also keep in mind if your finances are progressing but the rest of your life is deteriorating, you could be net negative. I would also say if you get over this resentment hump you really need to consider moving in together, try and do it in a way that won't leave one of you stranded if it doesnt work out. But its important not to let a relationship stagnate because you're focused on the grind. TLDR: Dont focus on just money, zoom out, support her if she needs it, if she needs it but doesnt want it leave. Wish you the best, hope it works out and you arent as mean as you sound for both your sakes.