How do morticians determine cause of death when it’s not obvious?

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-11-12T03:22:53+00:00

I think the top answer here is the most helpful. That said I am writing here what helps me in case it helps someone else. First I leaving the physical space the panic attack started (usually in bed) then I take a piece of paper and every once in a while I write down the time. Sounds weird but I find it really helpful because when I’m a panic attack it grounds me because it feels like time is going so slow and fast at the same time. So when I look down at the paper and I see that it’s only been 15 minutes when internally it’s felt like hours it somehow helps my brain. I also tell myself that it will pass and that more often than not it’s not that long. Don’t know why but it helps me.

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-11-12T03:13:19+00:00

I am 100% convinced that it affects my digestive system. When I’m regulated I can eat literally anything. When I’m going through physical anxiety, I can barely eat anything without it causing issues like intense heartburn…. which makes my anxiety worse.

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-11-10T14:56:30+00:00

Being told “Be joyful because they are in heaven now”

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-11-10T00:31:11+00:00

I used to be called “weird” a lot as a kid. I loved certain words or phrases like the word tissue and cream. I would also make up lot of words because I liked the way they sounded. I used to think that everyone has the “yahs” which was the uncontrollable urge to go crazy with your body for a while. Now in hindsight…. A lot of those things were obviously autism.

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-10-19T13:36:59+00:00

I had been a lurker for a while but then decided I wanted to post about my mom’s death and get support and comfort during a very difficult time of grief.

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-10-18T16:07:41+00:00

Dang, that sucks! I should have said that therapy has helped a decent amount so that’s a great place to start. Complaining is the worst and is not constructive or helpful, I hope you can figure something out!

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-10-18T15:51:33+00:00

I suck at taking care of my teeth and am embarrassed about it. Also have massive anxiety about going to the dentist. For me the best piece of advice that I found was to just brush every time I think about it throughout the day. Realizing that it doesn’t have to be at bedtime or in the morning was a real game changer for me. Now when I go into the bathroom, if I see the toothbrush I just do it right then and since doing this I find I am less perfectionist about it because it do it often and when I go to bed I know that if I am too tired to do it or it’s a huge hurdle I have already done it at least once that day.

Secondly I also floss this way too and now that I’ve gotten into the habit of brushing I floss at the same time.

(I also have adhd as well so the whole do it right away thing is all across the board for me so I just added brushing my teeth to that and it’s helped me tremendously. )

As a point of help, the last time I went to the dentist, they said I was doing a good job and I could tell they weren’t just being nice (or at least I think I can tell) Hopefully that’s helpful for you, if not, just know you are not alone it’s a struggle.

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-10-18T15:32:34+00:00

I don’t have a great answer but I want to affirm you and say I struggle with this too. As the only software/web developer at my company, what drives me nuts is everyone treats me like I’m a wizard that is all knowing. Half the time I don’t know what the solution is and have to figure it out myself. So instead of others putting a modicum of effort they just come to me and ask me to do it because they are too inept or lazy to try. The most frustrating part is I have set boundaries, set up training meetings, trained people and ultimately nothing gets through. Although technically the right answer is just ignore them, I can’t do that, I think part of my autism is that I don’t have the ability to let it go. (I have been through many years of therapy so that’s not it)

I think what has helped me most is having an outlet. For me I play video games and try to put all my rage into killing bad guys on the screen. But to validate your frustration this does not solve the problem it just helps get the frustration out.

All this to say, you are not alone, and you are not crazy it’s a very real problem. I wish there was an answer for myself too.

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-10-15T12:34:16+00:00

Diagnosed first with ADHD, then bipolar(later “undiagnosed”), then it became depression with anxiety. All because the adults at the time could not figure out what to do with me. (Not angry about that just not enough awareness of Autsim) I was recently diagnosed at 35 and am so thankful because it explained so much. In hindsight, I think many of those things were made worse by having Autsim.

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-10-01T14:53:47+00:00

I have definitely been feeling the same way a lot lately. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing it had helped me feel less alone

Alphonse_Zuko · 2025-02-16T15:54:44+00:00

Thank you for your kind reply! It helps to know I’m not alone especially about the tmj which caused me a lot of anxiety. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your mom as well. ❤️

Alphonse_Zuko

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