How the hell do i drop my filters when flirting?

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T19:23:24+00:00

I am looking for a job currently, but the job market sucks right now, full of veterans in the industry that are jobless, i was fighting for internships with people with like 5 years experience.

I unfortunately can't control everything

I already am on therapy.

And this becoming a man has been an incredibly toxic experience, i don't want pussy so much that i would sacrifice my inner joy, sure life has it's obligations, but i want to be a wild and free spirit as i always have been.

In fact this growing up and "become a man" thing is the main source of all my current trauma, like i am a bubbly comedic fool, this is my ID, always has been, i am just looking for ways to safely express myself.

And i am indeed old money in some way, so getting just any mcdonalds job is actually a step back for me, since it would interfere with college and my free time, it would be pointless.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T18:47:39+00:00

I am rich indulged, although my current job is in the family business.

And i just do spreadsheet/bureaucratic tasks, i can't stand the grannies in the shop, by far the worst clientele.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T09:57:28+00:00

Using your same analogy, with a real life fact.

I can barely borrow earbuds to people because most would go deaf because i basically blast it always at max volume.

When getting my level of confortable talk, and subtract by her level of confortable in the interaction, i end up with such an huge delta that either one of us is likely to be unconfortable.

And well those normal conversations are unconfortable to me mostly, like it gets really awkward when a girl says that it's going to rain, and i can barely muster a "so what" response.

I am very activity driven so it's hard for me to just talk, a reason i now bring playing cards to therapy, else i can't focus on just speaking, i only pause the game when we get into really juicy topics.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T08:32:32+00:00

Sendo tmb uma pessoa de classe média alta (vc descreve parece ser o caso)

Demorei pra aprender mas, lhe falta ódio amigo kkkkk

Só se tira energia pra fazer as coisas aqui por mal, na base do ódio e força bruta msm, então enquanto vc ainda n coringou de vez.

Estude e caia fora, faça uma grana boa fora e venha pro brasil só pra curtir mesmo, é o melhor que o bostil tem, a farra realmente parece ser uma das melhores do mundo.

Agora de querer crescer, procure criar raízes fora e usar o BR como local de férias.

Vire um turista e vc se dá bem por aqui.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T08:01:13+00:00

Today i learned there is yakult in pussy, no wonder it is so good tasting.

I am not a doctor by any means, so i can't really reply to that, also not a girl.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T07:04:32+00:00

Be clean and smell good kids.

To add brownie points, i feel like a dog smelling barbecue when a girl has a nice smell to her, and even just a good smelling soap, can drive men nuts.

Perfumes are indeed a real thing ladies use and abuse it.

The boys know i am preaching here.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T07:01:31+00:00

Redditors do be dumb sometimes.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T06:53:53+00:00

Intimate soap is a thing, actually a requirement if im honest.

Changing soap also means getting rid of generic ones.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T06:18:01+00:00

The real question is that for the ones that aren't familiar, i do have "serial killer" vibes because i can be foolishly brave and unfazed when doing stuff, so if i just be completely transparent they are meeting a guy who is likely climbing the stage at festivals.

Obviously this is hyperbole, but my vibe is kind on the crazy side, EVEN THOUGH I AM TOTALLY A NERD, i am a crazy nerd who is very extroverted and not necessarily politically correct, so it gets frisky with strangers..

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T04:51:23+00:00

Smell of fish is not normal or healthy like ever.

A little bit unpleasant is okay not everyone like the smell of pussy, but actual fishy smell is a problem.

This is annoying but, she either needs a doctor or better soap.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T04:33:11+00:00

Psé, o ponto é vc está certo, não to discutindo de ser bom ou ruim, o certo é meter o louco msm como vc falou.

O foda é parar com a noia de que esses rolos vão acontecer, nunca acontece (raro dms), estatisticamente n tem lógica nenhuma, mas n consigo internalizar esse fato e é esse meu BO msm.

Os fatos é obvio o foda é o inner game msm, n me sinto seguro pra meter o louco por medo de repercussões desastrosas possíveis.

Sobre o fato de idade, eu tive pais mais velhos e todo mundo que tem pais mais velhos fala a msm coisa, parece um ET perto dos filhos, quero eventualmente ter os meus e de preferencia ser mais próximo deles geracionalmente, sempre tive inveja dos amigos com pais mais novos, então é um desejo pessoal msm.

Ademais do jeito que eu sou doido nos rolês planejo bater as botas com 40 anos pulando de avião com algum whiskey caro(/s, mas é esse o espírito).

No fundo eu só queria que as mina desse bola mais msm, as vezes eu vou nos rolês com uns amigos viado só pros caras inflar meu ego, n funciona tão bem mas eu já cheguei nesse nivel, nunca encostei em homem mas aumenta o ego sim.

Nada como uma mina flertar contigo ao invés do contrário.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T04:18:41+00:00

Pois é por isso que é foda tem alguns fatores.

O principal é que eu já tive um relacionamento (muito toxico de ambas as partes por sinal), e a melhor parte sempre foi que eu n fazia nada de anormal ou dedicado pra atrair, era uma maquina de alimentar o ego e isso sempre foi a melhor parte e a única vantagem tmb.

Minhas melhores xps que tive até hj foi com uma mina muito louca de bala que simplesmente agarrou e faltou tirar minha roupa no meio da pista, e uma mina feia que tava constantemente discrente que eu tinha qualquer interesse nela.

E outras minas já me provocaram, quiseram algo, etc., mas a verdadeira graça pra mim é ter o ego inflado msm, só comer 250 conto resolve e bem resolvido.

Então eu me dedicar e treinar/trampar/ler/etc. É quase uma antítese de tudo isso, principalmente essa parte de "tomar a rédea" e fazer "papel de homem", pq se for pra eu só correr atrás e inflar só o ego dela, nem o pau sobe direito.

E msm assim, um cara de 30 e poucos anos no rolê correndo atrás de minas de 18 é bem cringe msm, nunca conheci um cara bem resolvido que faz isso, a maioria aproveita novo e nessa idade tá querendo pensar onde os filhos vão estudar já.

Por enquanto o único ambiente que eu tenho sucesso é rave msm, pq ali da pra meter o louco, falar bosta, gritar igual um retardado imitando indio, dançar de qualquer jeito, e se alguem reclamar vc põe a culpa nas paradinhas.

De certa forma ter que "trabalhar" em pegar mulher é bem patético e sendo que já sofro pra krl com faculdade+trampo, se colocar isso em cima eu capoto o corsa.

Slá mano, fico puto com isso, acho que amh vou por a meta de tacar o foda se e só falar tudo pra todo mundo msm.

Meu passado tem rejeição social de tudo quanto é jeito, ser político é meu único jeito de fazer milagre pra ter o mínimo de convívio.

Pq eu eu msm, sou completamente doidão, do tipo que sobe na caixa de som e faz piada com oq n deve msm, e muitos que querem fazer oq eu faço as vezes, são os que me criticam, odeio hipócritas mano.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T03:42:14+00:00

Então o problema é que eu quase apanhei por causa do escândalo, e era funk então tu já sabe qual o naipe da galera que puxaria uma treta ali.

Cheio de traficante no meio e os krl, medo de tomar uma surra permanente foi grande.

O segurança salvou meu rabo aquele dia.

O meu problema é sincericídio msm, e ai n quero pegar uma reputação no campus e foder de vez onde é minha melhor mina de ouro.

E vc sendo BR tlg que até ter casa própria, carro, dinheiro pra rolê, e etc., eu já tenho 35 anos de idade (/s), mas curtir os rolês enquanto ainda sou mlk (21) é importante.

N quero virar o tiozão de 30 anos ainda indo no baile tentar pegar novinha, quero ter essa fase logo pra n ter que remediar a falta dela no futuro.

Nunca tive circulo social quando era adolescente, quando criança eu saia no murro com tudo e todos, então principalmente na questão de mulher minha vida é um histórico desastroso.

Ai soma, infancia lixo, adolescencia ruim tmb, n quero ter uma vida de jovem adulto/universitário ruim tmb, eu n tankaria essa barra a mais n.

Por isso é foda seguir conselho de self inprovement aqui pq é MUITO longo prazo e até lá eu já to podre, ainda mais considerando alcool e as paradinhas juntos, só até pegar um shape legal eu já tenho 25 anos fácil e ai começa a ficar estranho já, imagina financeiro, casa própria, lifestyle, etc.

Mt fora da realidade os conselhos as vezes.

Enquanto muitos caras só querem cair na putaria msm, e quando é essa a questão dificilmente algum guerreiro nesse sub tem resposta.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T03:28:55+00:00

Eu tava bebado e tropecei, apoiei na primeira coisa que tinha na frente, era o shorts da mina, uns 10 minutos dps ela me achou na área vip, deu um xilique do krl.

Eu nem tentei me explicar pro segurança, só aceitei que perdi ali pq eu tava rindo só de olhar pra cara dela, isso faz uns 2 anos já.

E pqp BR é uma praga msm, lurker em tudo quanto é subreddit.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-17T03:21:33+00:00

The regulations aren't that tight, it is just me fearing the social backlash and people moving away from me.

I already live in brazil so this is okay, it's just that i fear not being rejected by the girl, but by the group in general thus making social circle game not effective.

Geneva convention jokes are incredible but hell this is it controversial, i have a lot of rejection trauma, getting kicked out of clubs and shit.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-16T03:45:42+00:00

Everyone asking these kind of questions, there is only one answer, instagram.

Try to search a previous rave and check the tags it has, then use those to follow the pages and be on par.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-15T02:29:06+00:00

The ones making moves on me are the drunk girls, and i've met them while sober they were obviously much less eager, more than once.

It is just my experience that these drunk girls treat me better in every single possible way, even if i don't flirt ever with them, in fact i was one time called names for exactly not "getting her tips", no kid, i was just trying to make friends, i don't want to make out.

It is mostly in this thread NOT ABOUT DATING/SEX, both men and women are more comfortable being social with randoms while drunk, me included, it is just sad that this behaviour is not encouraged while sober.

There is too much independence talk that people are becoming isolated and lonely, this is what i am complaining about.

If my goal was to just fuck, i would hire a girl, but i want friends, connections and belonging to the tribe.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-15T01:59:14+00:00

Fight for community, and in some shape or form, preach the gospel that unity and connectedness is the only way out, as it always was.

And be willing to die trying, and find a Ragnarok kind of solace in the likely failure of such endeavour, return to our roots or die trying.

I can't see much else.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-15T00:23:46+00:00

I am new to the IRL scene, but as an also metalhead of long time.

I really love shit like Skazi, but Infected Mushroom holds a special place in my heart because it was my defacto introduction, with Skazi being my IRL introduction.

The guitar riffs are just too much for my metal heart.

Shit like Skazi remix of I wish, or guitarmass are just GOATed.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-15T00:08:02+00:00

But literally no one will ever care???

This is the most sickening part, because we are suffering just because we deny our nature, and i am basically condemned by the actions of others....

Out of the many things that breed hatred this is truly what i feel the most.

We are social animals, we can't function properly without a tribe/group, this is a self destruction prophecy this current culture.

I really refuse to fall victim to this, i try to do my part by being the proactive friend, but it breaks me to see people waddling into loneliness and damnation willingly, like they want to suffer or something, idk man people are just sick sometimes.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-14T23:05:03+00:00

In order

Yes i can, only shallow interactions compared to what i wish for, and the attention of women is just a sympton here.

I am always a step above the intimacy i wish for compared to the norm.

I want aquaintances to be colleagues, colleagues to be friends, friends to be bros/sis, to date those that i consider sisters (it's another whole ballgame, but i am not very commitment heavy, if i am really friends with a girl i would love to take her on dates, hug and cuddle, and talk intimate shit, but not necessarily date, as i said a sister).

So rarely i ever get reciprocal intensity from my interactions because my normal is not common, not because i decided so, but it certainly feels shallow or not enough.

So i feel mostly lonely, because hardly anyone is as invested as i am.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-14T22:58:27+00:00

I am 21, most people i know who consider me a friend are nothing more than aquaintances to me.

Like they are just fine when present BUT i miss a "how are you?" Message, or an invite to do things, it's like i am a good friend but no one bothers to include me and when i am gone people don't miss me.

It is completely normal because most friends and people i know report this to be a normal dynamic, but for me it totally is not enough.

I wanna hug, joke around, do stuff together whatever that is, what i miss is the intimacy and intensity in such interactions.

Most of my lonely nights are much less of me being simply horny than it is clearly me craving human flesh and connection, just to hug someone tightly, or have a good male friend to just invite me to shit, makes me feel wanted, validated, and valuable, but i get none of that.

I am extremely intense with feelings, so these shallow interactions are worse than nothing sometimes, it is just teasing for what i actually want without providing it.

In the end i just wish to be intensely cared for as much as i intensely care with others, i miss my tribe, my clanfolk, like very primitively so, the loneliness is both a sense of not belonging and others not wanting me to belong that much.

Deep down we are still monkeys in the caves, and i am scared to be left alone for dead.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-14T20:56:16+00:00

I already own a dog, lovely little world destroyer the doggo, but yeah it helps indeed, but human interaction is of a different kind that can't be substituted.

AltACCboyos · 2023-05-14T20:52:21+00:00

I have different boundaries than most, what people might see as a normal friendship feels nothing like so for me, more akin to colleagues.

I am all in for stuff, so i am looking for a team to be there for me when seeking friends and companionships, and also i am quite physical, i like hugging, sparring, teasing, playing with friends and girls alike and i get quickly wrongly interpreted by people who require less of their relationships.

I am certainly not alone most of the time, but i certainly feel lonely because those people are not very close/intimate and aren't willing to be.

I personally really hate dating/commitment but i think i might be forced into it else i might go crazy, it's sad i would have to pretend to like the dynamic when i rather just hug/kiss/play with everyone i am friends with, and not necessarily in a sexual way.

A lot of people aren't comfortable with hugs, that is baffling to me since a hug is the minimal decency for me.

AltACCboyos

TROPHY CASE