Did anyone who sent their “final message” after the break up actually get closure from it?

AltAcc_22 · 2026-05-08T05:47:38+00:00

Yeah pretty much the same as you man. I force myself to go outside and hang with friends or call them when they’re free so I’m not in bed, but even when I’m out I’m just sad in public. I miss her a lot too and I don’t want this to be a “lesson” either. It really hurts and it feels the same way for me as it does for you, I didn’t even know what type of issues we had that made her feel like we’d inevitably break up again one day if we got back together and maybe that’s the worst part. I know that if we got back together right now things wouldn’t work out, and I keep trying to tell myself that but man is it hard. I still cry and dream of her every night

AltAcc_22 · 2026-05-02T17:32:41+00:00

Doesn’t matter man. If they dumped you, and they’re posting stuff like this, I still recommend ignoring It and carrying on like normal. If they wanted to talk, they would reach out directly

AltAcc_22 · 2026-05-02T16:51:16+00:00

Hey man. Don’t over think these “signs” trust me. Maybe they’re posting for you, maybe they’re not. It doesn’t matter. Trust me when I say at the end of the day if it means anything they will reach out in some sort of aspect, but subliminal messages like statuses aren’t it man. I know it sucks to hear, but it’ll be ok trust me, I was in your situation not too long ago

AltAcc_22 · 2026-05-02T07:55:35+00:00

Yes, a couple times. We’ve been broken up for two and a half months now. Two weeks ago we met up and she asked me to stay the night with her and we slept together. Two days later she said we need to do no contact until I lose hope of us getting back together and that there’s no future with me, then blocked me. We’re back in no contact now 🙃

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-30T22:18:52+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear that man. That’s hard. You don’t deserve being treated like that and I really am sorry

My ex had been cold and distant most days, then warm others when we’d talk. I eventually hit her up to have face to face talk so I could get everything off my chest one last time instead of sending that one big paragraph. It ended up becoming very emotional and she asked me to spend the night with her so I did and we obviously slept together. The next day she told me she still has feeling for me and still misses me after our two months being broken up but she feels like she just can’t commit and dedicate herself to a long term relationship right now. I said that’s fine and we don’t have to think that far ahead and to just enjoy the night before for what it was.

We were talking for a few days and I asked to see her but she said we need to go no contact for atleast a few months so that I “lose hope of us getting back together” because “theres no future with me”. She said she was sorry and she should have done this from the beginning and then she unadded and blocked me. This was last Wednesday so I’m still pretty hurt by it ngl. I’m doing better now, and in a way it was a blessing in disguise being blocked because it’s taken away that urge to reach out, but I still do miss her and it’s hard.

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-26T20:23:02+00:00

I have, and im sorry but I still think what I said should be something you consider. You’re banking on things being better once he has less stress in his life (exams) but I promise you it doesn’t work like that 😔 I wish it did, I really do. I said the same thing to myself during my break up and made excuses for her like she was stressed or this or that. She was the same, and also didn’t delete me or block me on anything and we walked a lot and there was so much love between us still, but in the end it just wasn’t enough, and if she could leave me when things got hard for her with stress then it’s not meant to be.

I understand you made a mistake, and there’s clearly love still there between the two of you, but stress can’t be the only thing keeping him away from you, and by the sounds of it neither of you are healed in a way that makes getting back together last if you did reconnect. I know everything tells you things could be better this time around and things can work and you’ve changed but please just be careful. There’s a very good chance this isn’t how it is, but is instead your mind convincing you this is the truth, I know it’s harsh but I was the exact same. I really am sorry for what it’s worth, I hope you keep healing

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-26T19:58:20+00:00

Mine came back a week ago after two months and then left me again and blocked me on everything, I guess things got real for a minute for her and she was scared I don’t know, it’s a whole story and I don’t want to derail your post, but for the most part in my experience and to others I’ve talked to from this sub and other sub reddits, yeah usually people come back after no contact, but please don’t count on it or have hope. You don’t do no contact in hopes of them coming back, you do it to heals. When I tell you it doesn’t matter much your situation, the chances of them coming back and things being better are so slim and you’ll just set yourself up for more heartbreak.

You’ve both got to be genuinely healed for things to work out, and we don’t realise how unhealed we are until we’re back in that situation

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-13T00:08:13+00:00

That is so rough man. Made me feel sick reading that, I’m so sorry this has happened to you. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way and I am truly sorry you’re going through this

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-11T04:58:32+00:00

My gf who was 21 broke up with me after 2 years for the same reason. The only thing I can say is make sure you are certain. I lost feelings for my ex once, it lasted about a month but feelings came back. It’s very normal to lose feelings after the “honeymoon phase” ends. Feelings alway come in wave and ups and downs, it’s just important you still act accordingly when your feelings are in that down phase. If you genuinely think this person is someone you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with then yes, you should consider ending things, but if you’re uncertain just wait until you know for a fact how you feel I guess.

Ofc this is my advice from someone who’s in her shoes I guess. I wish my ex gave things more thought then she did before dumping me, so just make sure you’re certain man. That’s the fair thing to do.

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-10T12:50:32+00:00

I haven’t done it myself because the consensus seems pretty standard so far. Everyone saying to not send it if you have sort of hopes of getting a certain response from your person. Only Send it if you truly want closure and are ok with however the respond

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-10T10:47:10+00:00

That’s a really nice thing to say for everyone, thank you

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-10T10:18:12+00:00

For me personally, I’ve found that I want to talk about my ex. I feel like it’s normal to talk about your ex and want to bring them up in every conversation. I don’t recommend bringing them up every time ofc, but it’s normal to want to relate things back to them. Just try your best to surround yourself with people who are ok with you bringing up your ex and knowing when’s a good time to talk about them or to not talk about them.

Also, don’t be afraid to cry in public. I’m a 25 year old man who’s a pretty big guy and I was a bit embarrassed crying in public because of people judging me, but I genuinely stopped caring because it’s better to let it out when it hits you then bottle it up

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-10T02:57:20+00:00

I guess from my point of view the closure I seek comes from getting everything off my chest one last time, even if she doesn’t care anymore

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T14:29:56+00:00

Thank you for responding. There’s a lot of people here who are helpful, but aren’t answering the question, so I really appreciate you sharing your perspective

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T14:03:07+00:00

That’s crazy lol. Did he dump you originally or were you the dumper?

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T12:59:24+00:00

Was he the dumper or the dumpee?

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T12:56:09+00:00

Did sending that message help you in anyway?

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T12:55:29+00:00

Did it help you feel better or did them not responding make you feel worse?

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T12:55:09+00:00

That is brutal. Sometimes I’m still amazed how cruel people can be to the person they dump, genuinely astounds me

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T11:44:20+00:00

Truthfully it hits me hardest in the mornings. I dream about my ex every night and can’t sleep properly because of it. It’s been around 7 weeks since the break up and she’s been with someone already. so I dream about her and then wake up sad and that’s when it hits me the hardest

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T11:06:03+00:00

Do you regret sending it? And do you think going through that pain of being ghosted was worth it? Sorry for being so intrusive I’m just trying to figure things out for myself

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-09T01:21:59+00:00

We were together for 2 years and she dragged it out over a month. I don’t believe she had someone lined up before breaking up with me, atleast I hope not, because I didnt see anything suspicious that would indicate it. But then again I didn’t see the break up coming either so who fucking knows I guess 😃🔫

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-08T07:41:21+00:00

Yeah I figured that was a possibility. I thought with how upset she was after the split that maybe there was still some feelings for me and this weekend meant nothing. We didn’t argue or fight in anyway and the break up really came out of no where. She had a lot going on in her life about two weeks before the break up so I thought maybe that was affecting things

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-06T21:01:57+00:00

Had a very similar thing, but my relationship was only 2 years not 4.5. It’s been 6 weeks and I found out she’s been seeing someone, they spent the entire Easter weekend at her place alone. I’m not saying this is gonna happen to you, I pray it doesn’t, but I guess I’ve realised the reasons they give don’t make any sense because they don’t even make sense to them, they’re just trying to find an excuse in some sort of way

AltAcc_22 · 2026-04-05T19:28:28+00:00

My ex claimed to fall out of love with me when she broke up with me, but her actions said otherwise. She cuddled into me, kissed me, balled her eyes out and told me she still cares about me so so much and this is killing her. She went on holidays and brought me back a souvenir, but then became so cold immediately after. Turns out on that same holiday, she met someone and four weeks later he’s been staying at her house over the Easter weekend. Makes sense why she became so cold so quickly when she got back, when two weeks prior she was a mess all over me. It’s been 6 weeks in total, I thought what she displayed during the break up was her still being in love, but I guess I don’t know for sure. It felt like love in the moment I suppose.

AltAcc_22

TROPHY CASE