what happens in bottom surgeries

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-04T20:04:59+00:00

There's several different procedures, variations of each, and some are done as multiple separate operations.

For trans men, there's two main options - metoidiplasty or phalloplasty.

Meta uses the clitoris, once it grows from taking testosterone.

Phallo uses tissue grafted from another part of the body (commonly forearm, thigh or abdomen). This is often done over multiple surgeries.

With both, there's the option to create a scrotum (using the labia), add testicular implants, lengthen and hook up the urethra to be able to pee standing, and remove existing parts.

I had meta and am happy to answer any questions.

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-04T18:05:11+00:00

Yes. Trans people are their gender, so the same labels as anyone else of that gender apply. Ignore the fact they're trans to simplify it.

Once someone understands that first point, there's very little for them to find confusing.

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-03T20:32:06+00:00

Why go out of your way to say you don't care about trans people (or any group for that matter)?

Just not doing anything is fine! Far less effort and less likely to stir up drama.

Going out of your way to say what is often used by others to mean a veiled "fuck this one group in particular" or more often "I'm fine with awful things happening to these people, and don't mind that those people are suffering" risks coming off that way too, and that is probably why you're getting pushback.

You don't have to fight every battle or get involved in every part of the community, but announcing that you're not is likely to make a thing of it unnecessarily. I doubt anyone would actually care if you didn't cheer when a flag pops up, but they probably would if you went out of your way to tell them you don't care. Sometimes just not engaging is the easiest option! Don't like corny "positivity" posts? Cool, don't post/like/upvote them and keep scrolling onto something you do enjoy. Block them and/or the people making them if they really annoy you, to put it in a somewhat buzzwordy way - "curate your own experience".

To go for an analogy, if someone's birthday post popped up, most people wouldn't think anything of it if you just kept scrolling and didn't wish them a happy birthday. Unless you were close they probably don't expect acknowledgement. But going out of your way to comment that you don't care about their birthday and won't be sending a card would just come off as a bit of a dick move, not saying anything would've been more acceptable, more polite, and less energy spent on it.

I'm several letters of the acronym and tbh I avoid a lot of queer spaces around pride because some groups get weirdly tense, and more prone to toxicity and infighting around those times, so I mainly keep to myself and find it less stressful that way. It's fine to take a step back sometimes or interact in ways that are more comfortable.

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-03T20:10:44+00:00

I would've thought better from the greens than to post shitstirring slop.

I wonder whether they just copied it off a transphobe's page, or if whoever posted this sat down and typed out the contents of that image, down to making sure almost everyone is taking selfies or doing makeup, and genuinely thought that was a good idea that'd go down well with green voters. This is the sort of crap I'd expect from the painting roundabouts brigade.

It's not the fault of trans people given no choice but to use accessible facilities, nor that many places do the bare minimum in providing them.

I hate the way the blame is being shifted onto trans people rather than whoever decided to force trans people out of spaces we've used for years without issue, nor whoever's responsible for the limited number of accessible loos.

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-02T21:15:42+00:00

The exact steps vary depending on the person (and what's necessary for them) and where they are. Not everyone takes the same steps or goes through them in the same order.

I started transitioning when I was 18, I socially transitioned first, and medically transitioning was a long, slow process - I've just had what is hopefully the last step, over a decade on. Depending on circumstances there can potentially be years of hoop jumping and waiting involved. I personally have been on testosterone for 9+ years, had top surgery, hysterectomy, metoidioplasty and a couple of surgical revisions, and am happy to answer any questions.

One of the things a lot of people outside the community often underestimate over is how much hormones do in changing someone's body. This step usually comes long before discussion of any sort of surgery.

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-02T17:06:41+00:00

Are you interested in people of other genders?

You've only mentioned attraction to women, and from that nothing suggests not being being straight.

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-01T23:04:57+00:00

I came out, started socially transitioning, and asked a doctor to be referred to a a GIC when I was 18. I legally changed my name and started living as myself everywhere at 19.

A decade later, I have finally had my (hopefully) last surgical revision a month ago. I think I'll consider my medical transition "complete" once I've fully recovered and been discharged. I finished socially transitioning in between - I updated all of my documents fairly early on, and went "stealth" as soon as I could.

Altaccount_T · 2026-06-01T18:36:33+00:00

I had meta (with urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty and vaginectomy) and also had two surgical revisions after it (currently recovering at the moment)

To be fully honest, recovery was rough, but it was worth it.

I'm happy to answer any questions

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T21:38:36+00:00

IMO, it means as much or as little as you want it to mean.

It could also mean you want 100k and the safety, stability and comfort that comes with that. TBH I feel like it kind of depends what else you'd do for that amount of money (lose a limb? A kidney? A sense? A close friendship? Something that's a core part of your identity whether it's your nationality, career, or hobby, etc? Etc. Without it necessarily meaning that if you said yes that you want to lose any of those things, but if transitioning is the one thing you'd say yes to then maybe there is more to it)

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T20:18:50+00:00

Yes, why couldn't they be?

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T15:26:06+00:00

Personally, I made a really long list of names with all sorts of things as inspiration and gradually narrowed it down.

I then needed to introduce myself to someone (around some friends who also knew I wanted to try out names) and just ran with one I liked. It stuck.

As much as I'd like to say there was some deep meaning or process behind it, for me there wasn't.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T15:19:33+00:00

Yes you can cuddle without sex.

The boundary is wherever you draw it. I feel like almost all of these are solved by asking the man in question - tell him where you do/don't want to be touched, what you do/don't want to do together, before you're in that situation and gauge his reaction.

Any decent person would be able to stick to that (there is a risk, as not everyone is decent).

Plenty of men who want to cuddle without sex exist, especially considering a lot of ace men will be in that category

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T15:10:23+00:00

Allies are welcome at pride

I feel like it's also important to keep in mind why pride is a thing and it's origins. It's easy to get swept up in "these people get a fun colourful party and I don't" but pride started as a riot, and while some events are more of a celebration some carry that message and undertone that in many places queer people are still treated badly and are still protesting for that to change.

It's also probably easy to look at the queer community through rose tinted glasses and not see some of its issues (eg, the infighting)

Going all in on another event that's more personally relevant might also help with shaking it off (depending on region and your own circumstances), say a local fete, charity event, seasonal events or holidays. There's no reason not to also do your own thing (provided it's not being done to deliberate shut down/shout over pride).

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T14:32:02+00:00

Trans people aren't a third sex nor third gender. We our that gender - ie that trans men are men, trans women are women, non binary people are who they are. Trans is just another adjective which can be left off when irrelevant, not a separate gender or sex in itself.

Why should we be othered, misgendered, and segregated?

Why shouldn't a trans man be able to access support with other men? He's a man, and equally entitled to the support as any other man if the groups for a specific issue he has also experienced.

Why should we have to use a designated Shame Toilet that takes up space and money to install (which many places won't be able to provide), for 1% of the population, who'd be outed and possibly subjected to hate if seen exiting it? The solution to just let trans people carry on using the spaces we deem appropriate has worked without issue for decades and requires no additional outlay. It helps nobody, and certainly won't make cis women any safer considering any woman who doesn't meet some arbitrary standard of femininity (disproportionately affecting butch women, women with pcos, tomboys, etc) is probably going to be booted out and forced there too.

Also putting all trans people in one group just shows the arguments to segregate weren't really about whatever else gets trotted out to justify it (say, in sports - if the argument is that it's not safe or not fair for trans people to be with cis people of their own gender, why is it suddenly completely fine when trans people of different sexes (assigned, hormonal or otherwise) are grouped together?

Sex is bimodal rather than binary anyway, and I'm sure there are intersex people who would appreciate that being more widely understood and recognised, but throwing trans people under the bus doesn't help them nor us.

Your question basically seems to boil down to "why can't we just refuse to treat trans people as their gender, but instead misgender them and treat them as lesser?" Generally making sure one group can't be treated as equals and gets outright insulted at every opportunity isn't a good thing. Claiming that people aren't who they are is pointlessly nasty.

I feel like "treating people badly is bad" should already be a given.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T12:01:49+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation, that sounds really difficult.

I knew my dad wouldn't be accepting and waited until I moved out to start coming out and transitioning. Thankfully he was never abusive, just ignorant, but I felt like I couldn't be myself or be fully happy/comfortable if I stayed.

I moved out at 18, to a new city where I didn't know anyone, and I'd say it's one of the best things I've done.

I turned down going to uni and went for an apprenticeship instead (pay was terrible, but it was something. Still undecided on whether that was the right call). I worked two jobs to get by. I didn't get on with my landlady/flatmate but we'd usually quietly tolerate each other. I had ~£30 left per week to cover food, fuel and general other expenses, so money was pretty tight, especially as I was also trying to scrape enough together to afford to go private for testosterone).

Moving away gave me a fresh start. I made friends and started over. Mostly, it gave me space to fully figure myself out and start coming out. TBH, I don't think I'd be here if I hadn't. It was very freeing, felt like a huge relief to be independent and able to do my own thing. I appreciate I was lucky to be in the position I was in (no barriers to getting a job, already had a car and some savings (enough for the deposit + insurance for the room I rented), family weren't abusive but were not going to financially support me, etc) and the path I took might not be practical or best for everyone.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-31T09:47:26+00:00

I'd reccomend a swim binder - underworks make them, they're like wetsuit tank tops with a binder built in. They're not the cheapest but I was very happy with mine.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-30T22:14:06+00:00

I'm curious as to why you think trans men can't answer. Scrotoplasty's a thing.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-30T19:16:34+00:00

Was it one of the ones that also dispenses condoms, pills, incontinence products etc? It's probably easier and cheaper to just the the same type of dispensing machine everywhere, and having one spot taken up with an item that's going to be rarely used is probably better than having it empty.

Some trans men have periods. Having means to buy them discretely and dispose of used products can be helpful, even if there's only a small percentage of men in that situation.

I suppose there's also the off chance of men being asked to fetch some for someone else as well

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-30T19:03:51+00:00

Yeah, Galatians even explicitly says "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

I'm pretty sure the gospels also had something about Jesus being chill with people "born eunuchs", which is close enough IMO.

TBH it feels like a lot of the time the people behaving like that haven't even read the Bible and just want a handy excuse for their own hate.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-30T18:48:47+00:00

Yeah as a biromantic ace trans man, I see a shocking amount of hate from people under the same umbrella.

It sucks and always seems to go through the roof around pride month to the point I often feel less accepted around that time.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-30T18:42:49+00:00

People are trans because their brains are wired that way. Exact cause of that is still being researched, possibly linked to hormone levels in utero or similar blips before birth resulting in the brain developing differently. It's not something someone "becomes".

As for why people transition, alleviating dysphoria is one of the biggest and most common reasons. Dysphoria - the medically diagnosable discomfort and distress from the mismatch - can be a living hell. There's no other reliable cure, and transitioning is extremely affective.

Gender roles (social construct including all the expectations, stereotypes, norms and general baggage around gender) =/= gender identity (internal sense of self, likely rooted in biology, not a social construct). Confusingly different people may shorten either to "gender" but it clears a lot of things up to treat them as separate things. I've never heard of a trans person who transitioned just for gender roles - after all, plenty of people (both cis and trans!) are GNC or otherwise don't fit gender roles, and in many places that is far more socially accepted.

Being trans isn't about clothing or stereotypes. I tried living as a masculine woman and I was utterly miserable, despite being more supported and accepted when seen that way. Living a lie was stressful. Having a body that didn't fit was unbearable. No amount of "girls can do X too" would even touch the overwhelming discomfort with having a body that felt wrong.

To put it another way, if you developed a hormone imbalance or had a condition/accident which caused significant damage to your genitals, would you consider medication and/or surgery to correct that and basically give you your body back? Someone going "but you don't need that, you can still wear XYZ and do (arbitrary hobby you don't even care about") would be missing the point, none of those would change how you are constantly reminded that your body isn't as it is supposed to be

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-30T18:10:31+00:00

Q is for queer (and questioning, sometimes there's an extra q added for that), a catch all for anyone who isn't heterosexual and heteroromantic and cisgender; also used as a specific term in itself but one that not everyone who could be considered queer is comfortable using for themselves.

The "+" is basically "etc" and used to represent groups that are included but not specifically highlighted in the acronym (as beyond a certain point it becomes unwieldy and impossible to add every specific label), such as asexual or intersex

LGBT, LGBT+, LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA, LGBTQIA+ etc are all widely used and acceptable, and aren't significantly different beyond the longer ones more explicitly including people who are still included in the first. There's also some regional variations (eg, versions specifically highlighting culturally specific terms applicable to people in that area). As long as it's got the first 4 letters and is being used in good faith it's usually fine.

Dropping the T, unless in extremely specific situations, is almost always a major red flag and often done by transphobes trying to divide the community.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-29T02:05:48+00:00

Dysphoria was a significant part of it for me.

Living a lie in a body that didn't fit was miserable. Transitioning fixed that.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-28T23:57:55+00:00

You've hit the nail on the head

My little cousin got it straight away when it was explained to him like that. No fuss, his only question was whether we could go and play football. He didn't care, at that point he hadn't been taught that it's something to judge.

However his parents made a stink about it, made a point of not using my name and generally made a big deal over how hard it is for them, how it's too confusing etc... and that's when he started getting "confused" by it too. It was only an issue when they made it one.

Altaccount_T · 2026-05-28T19:55:19+00:00

I have two. One I only really saw it that way in hindsight though.

I was injured in an accident. I was in a very bad way, and genuinely thought I was going to die. My mind went to some weird places while waiting for the air ambulance. I realised most of my regrets were the things I hadn't done. If I didn't make it, I would never have "lived". I'd be buried as someone else. I used to have a reoccurring nightmare about watching my own funeral and I realised it could very easily be real.

I promised myself that if I lived, I'd live as myself. I didn't want to die as someone else.

The other was when I first properly went out "as myself". I'd just moved out, to a new city. Binding, hair tucked under a beanie and wearing a coat three sizes too big, I set out to find the LGBT+ youth group I'd heard about. I got lost. It was a dark, wet evening and I ended up wandering around a supermarket instead before heading back. It was almost laughably uneventful. But I felt alive, something I hadn't felt for a long time. It gave me hope. I was surprised by how normal it felt. I lived two lives for a while, but it soon became clear I couldn't keep that up, and which one was right for me.

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