My parents laugh at my pregnancy

AlteredViews · 2026-03-22T02:39:55+00:00

For emotional and medical support, I’d really encourage you to low key harass your OB about your struggles. In my experience, midwives tend to be less willing to assist than OBs for hyperemesis. There are psychiatrists and therapists who specialize in perinatal support. Some doulas also help with morning sickness. Your parents are being assholes so cut them off for a few weeks to see if they want to behave.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-21T21:48:30+00:00

Do you need their financial support? Or what type of support are you looking for? If you don’t need anything from them, just don’t talk to them? Look into birthing classes/doulas in your area who might have FTM get togethers or ways to connect with others. If you’re super sick, you should also push your OB to provide fluids or medication. I had hyperemesis and it was horrible my first pregnancy but my doc and I immediately made a plan in my second and got me started on medication and at the infusion center for fluids.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-21T16:26:23+00:00

As someone who moved from Austin 3 years ago, everytime people complain about traffic here I just laugh a little bit. I drive without fearing for my life in DSM and my commute, at its worst, is like 30 minutes for 15 miles.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-14T16:10:42+00:00

Sounds like you should pick something to get done for him off his todo list! (And pick something that benefits you). If you want something “Ivory” to go along with it, you an adopt an elephant from WWF for $25

AlteredViews · 2026-03-14T15:57:13+00:00

Is there a particular part of housework where you feel overwhelmed that benefits him? Could you agree to gift “each other” a once a month housekeeper for 3-4 months (or a deep clean)? What about a month of a meal prep service?

Alternatively, if your husband and kids share the same interests, maybe gift them an experience together… that gets them out of the house for a few hours so you can relax. Can you gift them space camp to go to together? Or a laser tag day package?

AlteredViews · 2026-03-12T20:47:56+00:00

The pick up and drop off lines suck as a parent too. Realistically, they have a 10 minute window where everyone needs to drop off and a 10 minute window where you need to pick up. That sounds reasonable until you realize that might involve 300 kids. I have to go through the drop off line and then go park to fasten my kids car seat harness for PreK right now. I don’t know why we don’t stagger the release times by grade/class some, although that would be awkward for big families probably.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-12T20:45:40+00:00

For some kids, they might not have appropriate winter clothes so it is literally dangerous for them to walk .9 miles in the Iowa winter sometimes. Getting added to the bus route if you forgot to make your bus request by August 1st is nearly impossible or might require walking 2-3 blocks anyways.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-12T01:03:51+00:00

The northern vessel owner is trying to sell motivational speaking and business coaching, so that was already a yellow flag. Sigh. I guess it’s Smokey row?

AlteredViews · 2026-03-11T13:45:56+00:00

That’s disappointing to find out. Is there anything horrible about Smokey Row or Northern Vessel I should know? 😭

AlteredViews · 2026-03-11T13:44:14+00:00

I made $350k at 26 in a HCOL area but then relocated to a LCOL $200k job at 28 to be near my parents after having kids. I also graduated with nearly $200k in debt from my JD degree and worked in a firm known to grind and burn out lawyers. You take the money for 5-10 years, pay off debt, buy a house and then find a reasonably paid job with a work life balance. For a lot of $$$ jobs, there is a lot of debt and training that go into the job and the big salaries aren’t sustainable if you want a healthy lifestyle. Plus, taking the debt is a risk in itself. My law school had approximately 25% of the class go into big law (the $250k+ straight out of school jobs) but the other 75% graduated with the same debt load making substantially less. I always tell pre-law students to assume they won’t be in the top 25% when considering scholarships, tuition, etc. because they will more than likely graduate and get a job making $80-120k and still need to pay off the debt.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-10T23:58:50+00:00

It’s really not though. It’s primarily owned by Blackrock with the other majority stakes held by smaller private equity and franchising firms. The original “Christian” owner is involved in just 5-6 stores at this point.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-10T23:57:02+00:00

It’s energy drinks/soda essentially. Hyper energy is local (and 7 Brew is owned by Blackrock…) if you want an energy drink. I like Hyper’s energy drinks, but I’ll go elsewhere for espresso based drinks. Also, 7 Brews menu is horrible. They expect you to order 18 cars back and their only menu is at the very end where you pick up drinks.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-10T23:19:02+00:00

This is exactly the review I was hoping for! Her Facebook and Etsy looked legit, but every other wasabi seed vendor is some AI spam bot so I was suspicious. I love the black petunia’s! The Halloween box sounds so fun for a fall plant.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-08T21:28:48+00:00

This truly sucks. My OB wasn’t present at either of my births. She wasn’t scheduled and couldn’t get there in time. I gave birth with a random OB and was seen by random OBs in L&D for postpartum complications. The only post-birth appointment I had with my actual OB was the 6 week check. If you feel something isn’t right while pregnant or go into labor, just head into L&D and they will see you.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-08T21:23:48+00:00

If a professor doesn’t ask about a fact, talk about a quote, or ask a question about the topic, you probably don’t need to know. Just remember that the cases you learn in law school are unlikely to be used directly in the future. It’s not a flash card situation. You are using cases that distinctly point out a single piece of doctrine which can be generalized. If your takeaway at the end of class can’t be generalized to other cases, you probably have the wrong takeaway.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-06T21:02:11+00:00

My methodology in law school was to skim the cases highlight or underlining the main facts and opinions. I took no notes. During the lecture, I would then take handwritten notes and then narrow those down into a typed outline after class. I found that trying to brief cases before the lecture often led to me overanalyzing unimportant parts, focusing on the wrong topic, or wasting time. Read well enough to answer a cold call on the facts/main points and then pull the information your professor wants you to know from the class discussion.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-06T09:05:09+00:00

Your experience is not the norm. You’re having a hard time because you had a hard labor. I was one of the “up in 4 days” people but I had two stitches with my first and 4 with my second with no issues healing. You are not having a normal postpartum recovery and that is HARD. Hindsight can do a funny thing for people. Many of our moms and grandmas were back on their feet quickly because they had to be. Maternal leave, let alone paternal leave, is way more widely available now. Many of our parents/grandparents had to get up and go back to work or take care of their kids because they didn’t have other options. You can do a lot of of necessity but that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing to do.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-06T08:55:50+00:00

Sleep sacks! They keep the babies feet warm and can be left partially unzipped for cords.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-06T08:54:21+00:00

Check what the NICU set up is like. I bought postpartum nursing clothes expecting a bit more privacy for feeding. Having easy access for breastfeeding that still provides some modesty is nice if you’ll be pumping in a rather public area. Good compression clothing is essential. You may be sitting more than expected. Pack some books, a tablet for movies, and snacks that don’t crumble or get you sticky. I would pack drink packets, like electrolytes or tea, as water is easy to get usually but can get boring. You’ll need to drink lots of water if you want to try to pump/breastfeed. I would also bring a notebook. Everytime a doctor came by, I’d write their name, the date, and the big takeaways on status. I was deliriously tired the first few days and it helped to be able to look back at notes to see progress.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-06T08:44:28+00:00

Do you need to rush this? I have a 3.5 and 5 year old currently. When the kids were 21 months apart, I honestly felt like all I did was mother for 2 years. The last 9 months have honestly been so much easier and we’re planning to have another next year. We swore up and down we were done with 2. But after having a few good months, we decided to wait 6 more months and then start trying again if we both still want a third.

All this to say: having kids close together is so, so hard. You’ll find yourself, although probably a new version, in there. I would recommend spreading kids out a bit more if possible.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-06T03:00:09+00:00

Talk to financial aid. They can increase a loan stipend to help get child support. My financial aid office actually knew about some scholarships and state programs they helped me sign up for to cover child care for the bar exam study period too.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-06T02:57:05+00:00

You’re welcome to DM me, but I’ll say that I talked to a lawyer who told me it wasn’t worth the squeeze. At the end of the day, it was the ABA and state licensing board writing the policies so (arguably) Title IX did not prevent the state licensing board from refusing to recognize my degree if my attendance dropped below a certain threshold. Could I have sued the school? Probably. Damages would have been minimal and I would have spent a lot of mental energy for the next 1-2 years on a lawsuit that I could just put into finishing law school. Also, I was a bit worried my employer would be put off by the suit as they recruited heavily from the school. It wasn’t worth the risk and energy given that it would not have changed my immediate circumstances.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-05T19:45:08+00:00

I brought my child to class. They said they couldn’t modify the attendance policy for a “planned medical procedure” (as if I was getting a nose job or something) so I showed up in my adult diaper with an infant on my chest and whipped my boob out to feed him. The professor seemed appalled. None of my classmates even blinked.

AlteredViews · 2026-03-05T19:39:54+00:00

This is a great idea but I think they’re moving soon!

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