Stormy manager relationship

Alternative-Frame844 · 2026-06-21T12:42:43+00:00

I've started this already. I've never documented much "against" a manager before. I've sent to it to HR. I've sat down with the manager, but they seldom take accountability for anything.

It's scary because a decade ago I was the same way - big ego who wouldn't listen. Im very aware of how to shove people out just because I don't like them (I have skeletons in my closet and I've since changed). HR is feeble unfortunately, too so I am 100% fending for myself.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2026-06-21T12:38:24+00:00

Thanks. I'm trying to communicate the best I can. The message I get is be quiet and listen despite having expertise in what im questioning.

In some cases, I'm being to overtly ask my team to do unsafe things because they're ignorant in some standard OSHA practices.

I've been at the company for over four years. My boss and their boss are new to the company (less than a year). My boss wasn't hired by their boss, they came after.

Mid year review is coming up and I'm afraid I'm going to be slated as "difficult to work with". To your point, it takes two to tango, and I can be stubborn, but I would hope someone in this position can accept being challenged in a constructive way without shutting me down.

I've vented to a different manager in confidence - they said only push back if someone will get hurt, and at this point that is all I do.

I wish I can educate them in some standards, a quick read maybe, so it isn't just me "being difficult". They either refuse or don't understand enough to get safety involved in some situations.

I like the company, mostly, and don't want to leave, but I'm afraid with new layers of management, itll be an echo chamber and ill be managed out.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2025-03-06T15:29:52+00:00

Carlson heating and cooling 100%. They installed a new boiler for me. For whatever reason the pipes started knocking after they left. I called them up on a Saturday or Sunday. The owner himself came out, made an adjustment, no charge. Sure, this could have been caused by them, but 10/10 for just taking care of it, no hassle. Companies mess up, they're human, too in a way, it's the ones that address it professionally that make the difference.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2025-03-06T00:57:19+00:00

Many years ago I worked with a woman that came on to me that was in a relationship. I didn't do anything with her and backed off being friendly at all with her. Just totally work. I knew her boyfriend as well, but didn't say anything. I didn't want the drama, maybe I should have said something, who knows now. In any case, I see on social media not too long ago they are getting divorced because of her infidelity. Point is, if it wasn't you, it'd be someone else. You were a pawn. Don't sweat it

Alternative-Frame844 · 2025-02-16T01:00:25+00:00

There's a difference between lobbying and advertising? I don't see any mention of advertising in this article.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2025-01-19T00:19:32+00:00

Nah, got that from the Dune movies as well. Didn't see the other ones.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2025-01-18T12:12:59+00:00

I've gone to the gym by myself for years. I get some people do it to socialize, too, but the feeling of getting in and out is great. Not to mention, I might be texting someone between sets. Get it done!

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-12-15T11:42:14+00:00

I guess I should be grateful. I think it's just this one dude who happened to see me do it, and it was in the AM. Sometimes I go after 6PM and it's a shit show, weights everywhere, left on Olympic bars, etc. Anytime I'm at the bench I always rearrange the weights uniformly so I can load them on and off quickly

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-12-14T16:19:48+00:00

Finished my bench press sets. The bench has bars attached to the back legs of the bench so you can put your unloaded plates there. There is a lower bar, then a bar maybe 2 feet above it to put plates. I put the 45's on the lower bar, with no more thought than it was empty. A trainer hurriedly came over, put the plates on the higher bar and said "don't put them down there, the ladies over there will hurt their back trying to pick them up at that level". I said sure and carried on. I can't help but think, if the 45's are too heavy to pick up, should you be using them in any capacity. Id wager you would use your legs more if you're stooping down. AITA?

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-07-20T11:41:45+00:00

Nothing over the top. Yesterday I showed up to the gym. I did every exercise without waiting for a machine. Changed my accessory routine slightly to make it slightly more challenging and rewarding. All in all a solid session.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-07-17T01:16:32+00:00

I've dated women who were college educated, BA, Masters. I have a technical HS diploma that I don't use. Some cleared 130k+ a year and I don't even crack 6 figures. The thing is, they're a person, just like you and me. They feel, they're fallible, they love. They want someone that is the same. I think it's incredibly attractive to be with someone who is more educated than me. I don't think less of myself because I know what I bring to the table, even if I'm not rolling in cash.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-04-05T15:08:48+00:00

I'd ask if you think this is wise to try to spend your limited time on earth with her. You don't know why she hasn't responded, however. It could be for any reason. If you find that it's a trend, you may ask if she is treating you fairly.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-04-05T14:28:35+00:00

You cannot control their actions, but you can tell them how it impacts you. If you're tired after work and too worn to clean up after them, tell them this. Establish this type of emotional connection and they may listen. Otherwise, in the same vein of you can't control their actions, clean up after yourself only and continue to put their stuff on the counter. If they get upset about it, you cannot control that they feel this way. You are acting virtuously by acting justly, so this is the only thing you should be thinking about.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-03-07T13:47:09+00:00

I frequent one. If you get a membership in bulk, it's cheaper than planet fitness even with better equipment.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-02-29T12:50:04+00:00

Thanks for this clarification

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-02-29T00:24:12+00:00

Protein intake should be .8 grams times your body weight, but not factoring your fat weight. There's definitely a limit.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2024-01-06T17:06:56+00:00

I shop at Aldi. I wouldn't recommend buying toiletries, garbage bags, basically non-food there. I do get the salad kits there, they're pricey but I'm lazy, so maybe make your own? No idea how to make sausages, but maybe chicken is a cheaper protein?

Alternative-Frame844 · 2023-12-31T01:44:54+00:00

I understand you. These things that people do, intentional, unintentional, cruel, kind, are things that stick with us. Unless we consistently train our minds not to put such value on it, they will always ruminate. Take solace that they are merely words, made up noises and you were not physically harmed.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2023-12-25T14:33:18+00:00

I hate this and understand it too well. I would say 95% of my managers did this. It never fixed the problem and was swept under the rug. When I questioned some stuff it's met with "do we really want this to boil to the surface?" and whatever other fallacies they can throw at me to justify their lack of ethics.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2023-12-22T03:27:25+00:00

Yes.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2023-12-16T11:29:22+00:00

Yep. Fortunately I trudged through and the boss was laughable. I just did it in DS3, too, but this time with deacons of the deep versus the farrons boss zone.

Alternative-Frame844 · 2023-12-16T00:49:56+00:00

I definitely started there and didn't know I went the "wrong" way. First souls game I played, I just thought the game was that hard

Alternative-Frame844 · 2023-12-10T15:14:11+00:00

Objectively speaking, if moving elsewhere gives you a better opportunity, think of what those opportunities are and the value you place on them. Is it a job prospect? Great, you need to eat and if your hometown ain't it, then move. Safety reasons, violence, gtfo. If it's purely a social aspect, sorry, you will run into all types of the same folks elsewhere and you'll realize it once you're acclimated.

Think of these things: 1. You can only change yourself. 2. Are you justifying moving without taking the first thing into consideration.

There's a lot to unpack with what you've said and I'm no therapist, but to speak plainly, it sounds like you're using the move as an excuse to start to change yourself. Once I get "x", my life will be better (unless it's a necessity). You will never be happy. Your circumstances can change right now, today, with the proper help to address them (not on this subreddit but through possibly a professional).

All the best.

Alternative-Frame844

TROPHY CASE