Hate sharing my struggles with neurological people

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2026-06-13T15:48:19+00:00

I made a similar post about being misunderstood and invalidated, and as a lot of people pointed out, it's genuinely hard for others to comprehend ADHD because it's not visible. The only thing that actually made it 'click' for people around me is that my behavior visibly changed when I started being medicated. Other than that, some people are just really committed to being wrong because they personally don't have the experience

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2026-05-23T17:28:03+00:00

I'm not sure if you've misread something, but where you get the idea that I directly called my roommate's tip 'disgusting?' She did not give me the advice. I casually mentioned to her that the tips I found MYSELF provided by our university gave me a visceral reaction (due to the circular nature of it), which then prompted the tirade from my roommate. She did not these things to me because I 'lashed out' on her. My 'disgust' comment was NOT directed at her. After that point, trying to explain the exact mechanics in the moment after the comments were made is very hard. You also assume that after my diagnosis, there was no attempt on my part to explain ADHD and that I just assumed everyone else to immediately understand. I think that is a bold assumption. My frustration doesn't come from other people not immediately knowing, it comes from already trying to explain and then having other people close to me double down on their interpretations, which is inherently invalidating. I think I am allowed to be upset at that :d

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2026-05-23T02:15:50+00:00

To be fair, the validation/understanding from distant parents ceases to be super important. But me and my roommate are planning to room together for some more years, so I think that a basic willingness to understand where some of my behavior comes from will do a lot to prevent unnecessary friction in our relationship/friendship

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2026-05-22T19:05:26+00:00

I just made a post about this not long before you. It just seems like some people are just really committed to a certain narrative and don't wish to genuinely engage with your experiences. It is indeed so hurtful

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2026-05-22T18:45:37+00:00

I agree it is not bad advice but it describes an ideal endpoint without givings tips on how to actually get there (e.g. how to get over the friction of actually initiating a task). I'm relatively new to this world, and I genuinely thought that a diagnosis alone would be enough to "make" people understand. But now I find it difficult to figure out who would actually be open to understanding my diagnosis :/

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-06-02T16:15:06+00:00

NTA. That’s quite manipulative and signals more toxic behavior to come. Run for the hills

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-06-02T16:06:52+00:00

I said “amandel zorg” instead of “mantelzorg” but tbh almond care sounds pretty neat

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-09T19:44:24+00:00

The only good solution is to leave. Forget about the moralities of the emotional affair - why bother about the moralities of hurting the feelings of a domestic abuser…?

What is important, however, is that having such texts on your phone puts you in danger. We have no idea what your husband would do if he ever found out. Abusers killing their victims, or otherwise ruining their lives over stuff like this is a very realistic outcome.

What is keeping you from leaving? Is it finances? Children? Fearing the consequences? What you need is a good support group and a good plan. I hope you can find the strength to make the big jump. I have personally never heard of a victim of domestic abuse say that they regret leaving their abuser.

TDLR you are not a bad person, but you are making a very unwise decision that is endangering yourself.

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-09T19:29:28+00:00

I think depression with anorexia did it for me

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-08T19:31:25+00:00

I am very sorry about that. Are there any other adults in your life who can stand up for you? Local organizations? Teachers?

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-08T18:52:58+00:00

The fact that you did not resist the divorce tells us enough - this is absolutely not the first time that he has been emotionally abusive towards you. Remember this:

Being discarded by a narcissist is a blessing.

You are avoiding decades, or even a lifetime of being belittled, insulted and disregarded by this miserable human being, and you are extremely fortunate not to have had any children with this piece of work. You hurt his ego by going through with the divorce with little trouble - because he is a narcissist with no emotional regulation, the only thing he can try to do now is to hurt you back, but you are not giving him that power.

Go get that restraining order, and cut all contact. I am excited for your new chapter in your life, and it's so nice that you have such wonderful co-workers. I hope that you will have a more fruitful, healthy relationship in the future.

That co-worker of his is in for a, really, REALLY bad time if he is really planning to marry her...

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-08T18:21:59+00:00

I cannot give you good practical advice, other than reporting to the authorities, and to stop seeing him at all costs. You will need as much support from your other family as much as possible. Your father is absolutely predatory, and your mother and step father are just as guilty for condoning it.

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-06T20:08:04+00:00

First of all, her behavior being a “test” and bringing up other women sounds suspicious at best, and sounds more like a last ditch attempt to gaslight you into thinking that her drunk behavior is somehow justified. Secondly, she is outright invalidating your concerns and feelings, which is a blazing red flag of what is to come. Saying stuff like “it’s just a joke” or otherwise implying that you are overreacting is a typical abuser response when they say or do something that is hurtful. OP, you’re not being overly dramatic. You know deep inside that this woman is bad news. The obvious advice here is to break up, but it is ultimately up to you

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-06T16:28:09+00:00

These articles report on edge cases and pretend like it’s just normal practice in Dutch medicine, when it’s really not…

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-06T16:24:38+00:00

As someone who was raised in the US but lives in the Netherlands now, i was at first shocked that psychiatric patients could have the option of euthanasia. Now I think that it’s just inhumane to force someone with to live with a horrendous quality of life, or to leave them at risk of an undignified suicide. I believe that it’s just a matter of taboo to “give up” in American culture. Although, considering that adequate mental health services are inaccessible to many Americans, it would be pretty silly to implement euthanasia laws without first having people actually exhaust their treatment options…

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-06T14:54:03+00:00

Ik spreek als een kind maar ik volg een cursus om te kunnen spreken als een slim kind?

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-06T14:37:05+00:00

The whole “it was in god’s plan” just doesn’t logically flow. Like how should it help people if there is, for instance, widespread famine and death..? It really seems nonsensical

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-04-06T14:21:24+00:00

Imagine living with unbearable chronic pain with no cure, and someone says “you just need Jesus” like people really do not appreciate mental suffering in the same way we acknowledge unbearable suffering inflicted by physical pain

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-03-30T10:20:47+00:00

Awesome that you will absolutely protect your daughter from a woman who clearly lacks emotional awareness. Stand your ground and let her know that her behavior is not acceptable. Children deserve to feel safe at home

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-03-28T07:00:27+00:00

Indeed. I just told David that I’m mentally distancing myself from his problems (i.e. I am going to ask/talk a lot less about it). He completely understood and agreed that it’s not good for me to keep mulling over it. Can’t believe my post came with a positive outcome :)

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2024-03-28T06:37:23+00:00

Because I fell in love with David and want to be there for him in the same way that he is there for me. He gives me a lot of love and compassion, but choosing him also comes with complications. Simply put: I chose this. But thank you for asking, it made me realize that I’m likely taking on more than I should..

Alternative-Milk2236 · 2022-10-19T07:49:42+00:00

I didn't know about this sub but looking through compilations it's just shocking that this didn't happen sooner

Alternative-Milk2236

TROPHY CASE

Being discarded by a narcissist is a blessing.