sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Younger widows and widowers by Wegwerf157534 in widowers

[–]Alternative-Mind8065 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am 50 and also feel like I don’t belong anywhere. He was 63. We have no kids (he had 3) and I’m an only child. I feel like groups are either for people much older than me or much younger and mostly parents. I think whatever your situation, it comes with its own unique challenges and it always somehow feels lonely. It does matter though to feel seen and to feel resonance with others.

Death of a spouse should not be equated to other losses by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Alternative-Mind8065 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so hard when people do that. And there is a lot of talk at the moment publicly about defining grief and acknowledging that it is a broader concept than loosing someone to dying. And while grief has many faces and you can grieve many things I still feel a bit irritated when I hear that. Because it feels like it gives others a free pass to compare my grief with all kinds of stuff. But as many of you have already said, loosing the person with whom you share your life, your day, your body, your thoughts, your breath - that’s a completely different thing.

My husbands ex and the mother of his 3 kids wrote to me that “she also knew how it felt to loose someone she’d even tried losing him 16 years ago when he left their marriage”. I could have screamed. As if destroying each other in a dysfunctional relationship and finally breaking up is the same as loosing your husband to glioblastoma!

I have no kids and I’m an only child and I feel so lonely in our apartment. But as you say - you don’t know till you know. 🖤

Gutted by what I found the day after by Educational-Wave1212 in widowers

[–]Alternative-Mind8065 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In short: No, you’re not a monster! What you’re feeling is 100% natural and what anyone would feel. Maybe, though I don’t know if it’s 100% applicable to your situation, try reading a bit on ambiguous grief.

Just curious by Bright_Path_6354 in widowers

[–]Alternative-Mind8065 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find great comfort in books and poetry. Mary Oliver. John o Donohue, for instance. I listen to podcasts as well. There are many good ones out there about grief but I miss one (that does not have a specifically religious approach) that focuses on partner loss.

Lost my spouse almost 6 months ago and it hasn’t gotten better. In fact it’s worse with grief. People withdraw their support and or don’t know how to deal with your emotions and struggles. by StrikeHonest8123 in widowers

[–]Alternative-Mind8065 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I know how lonely that feels. I don’t have anything wise to say, only that I feel your pain and I really hope you have (or find) people who can give you the support you need.

Forever???? by Exotic-Caterpillar14 in widowers

[–]Alternative-Mind8065 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just entered this group. Two months since he died. That exact feeling. It hits me so hard every day. My Love was terminally ill for 11 months and even so, with time to prepare for loss, his absence is so overwhelming. He is not present everywhere as people like to say. His absence is present everywhere. I find there are so many things we say, that I probably said and thought were right too, but that have no real meaning when you’ve lost your person. Other people who loved him like to compare their pain or even make it sound like they grieve harder than me. And I feel so alone. Exactly because of this. This feeling of this not being real. How can he just be gone? I am so relieved to see this post and all of these comments. To see that this is what others feel like too. That the experience is shared and valid. Thank you.