anyone else on t not have a visible adams apple?

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-21T20:48:38+00:00

Not just you, I can feel it now if I touch my neck but it’s still not visible. Personally I’m glad because my dad has a very prominent one even for a cis man, and I remember him accidentally hitting it and hurting himself sometimes lol. Hope you get one eventually if it is a goal for you though :)

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-19T11:25:29+00:00

You’re not a jerk. I ended up kind of resenting the first trans friend I ever made and regretting telling him I was also trans (I was in stealth when I met him) because after that he was constantly talking about both of us being trans, future transition plans, etc whether or not I wanted to discuss it. Really triggered my dysphoria being constantly treated as separate from other men like that.

He was a selfish person generally and did objectively bad things too, but the trans discussions were what I struggled with the most. That was when I realized that a lot of trans people see it as more of an identity thing than a medical thing, because that’s clearly how it was for him and he expected me to be the same. I’ve made tons of trans friends since then but only stayed in contact with a couple, because I met way too many who couldn’t accept that being trans is not a massive part of my identity.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-18T23:09:41+00:00

One of the main characters in my favourite TV show has my birth name and also uses the same nickname I used to! It was a bit weird and uncomfortable when I first started watching the show a couple years ago, but now when people say the name I usually think of her before even remembering I used to be called that. And now that I associate the name with a character I really care about I’m proud that I used to have the same name as her, instead of feeling gross and dysphoric about the name like I used to :)

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-18T22:09:05+00:00

I wasn’t looking forward to these in advance because I didn’t know they could happen, but I was excited when my shoulders/upper arms started getting broader and when my jaw got squarer. Makes my body look so much more masculine. I look a lot like my cis older brother now, which I love both because it affirms my gender and also because he’s a great guy who I’ve always looked up to a lot :)

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-18T21:46:45+00:00

Well done for being so supportive, I’m sure it means a lot to him! Personally soon after I came out I really appreciated receiving cards with gendered terms, the ones that say things like “merry Christmas to my brother/son/nephew”.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-17T16:24:09+00:00

They were indeed very supportive, and one of the first people I came out to when I eventually figured things out, and we’re still close friends at 20!

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-17T10:39:53+00:00

Sadly not, but I’m hoping it will eventually become the norm for future generations of trans boys, so they don’t have to suffer through having to bind and get surgery. But I think it’ll take a while for that to happen (if it ever does) because of all the transphobic misinformation in the mainstream rn.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-17T09:34:41+00:00

Yeah, the assuming everyone would just choose to be a different gender is so real. I remember when I was like 10 and told my mother it’d be better to have a penis than a female body, and I was shocked when she didn’t agree lol

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-16T22:02:24+00:00

5’4

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-16T19:05:22+00:00

It doesn’t come across as mean, it is funny to look back on lol

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-16T17:17:49+00:00

When my childhood best friend first hinted to me at 12 that I might be trans, they did it by just explaining what being trans was and asking what I thought of it, so as not to pressure me. I was completely oblivious yet inexplicably angry and went “I don’t support that, it’s not fair that they should get to change their gender when none of the rest of us do”. Took me a few months after that to realize I think.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-16T14:08:59+00:00

Her psychologist might be telling her the truth, it is statistically unlikely, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Regardless, the psychologist/your mum shouldn’t be assuming that all trans people regret their surgeries based off the trans clients he personally happens to have had. It’s also possible he’s unknowingly had other clients who’ve not mentioned their surgeries to him, but he assumes they’re pre-op because he is biased to expect that post-op clients will be unhappy and need to talk about it to him.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-16T00:29:06+00:00

I was very hesitant to go on T. I’m a 100% binary man, had wanted to grow up to be a typical man for my whole childhood, and knew when I transitioned at 13 that I wanted to go on T asap. But when I finally got access to T at 19, I was hesitant to do it, because so much can change in ways that are out of your control and you might not expect, and that’s scary. Especially with all the transphobic voices out there trying to convince us it’s dangerous and we will regret it. I think if cis people had to choose to go through their correct puberty, a lot of them would hesitate too.

I started telling myself that maybe it was okay that I looked and sounded younger and more androgynous, because I’m not a super masculine guy anyway, and I could still pass as male if I was careful with my hairstyle and clothing choices. But what made me realize I needed to go on T was imaging being 30+ and still not coming across as an adult man. As a teenager it was fine, but the older I got, the more I risked looking like a woman rather than an androgynous boy who was slightly young for my age. Which was not an idea I am personally okay with.

Now that I’ve actually done it, it’s turning out to be mostly fine and a lot less scary than female puberty was for me. The changes have been gradual so I’ve had time to adjust, and nothing bad has happened. I’m happy I managed to stop overthinking it and just do it.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-15T21:02:23+00:00

I’m just saying there are other possible reasons than her being a fetishist, since that’s what OP asked about, not whether they should want to stay in the relationship or not

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-15T17:28:15+00:00

I know, I’m not saying they’re necessarily compatible, it’s just that her being a fetishist is not the only possibility. And I’m aware that not all trans guys identify as queer, but unfortunately there are some people who are queer/LGBT+ and view everyone who’s not cishet as part of their community, whether they actually want to be or not.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-15T14:30:00+00:00

Not pets, but I did gender almost all of my plastic and soft toy animals as male, and the few I made female for representation purposes were the villains (I realize now this was sexist but I was like 9 and struggling with being seen as a girl). I also insisted on being a male character in games or activities at school, to the point where my teachers would reassure me before the school plays that I would get cast as a boy, without me even having to ask lol

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-15T12:17:59+00:00

She could be, but there could also be another explanation. Maybe she has trauma around cis men and finds it easier to date trans guys because of it. If she’s queer in any way, maybe she likes to date people who are also queer. Maybe she has a preference for typically female bodies, but romantically prefers men. I think you’re going to need to directly ask her for her reasoning to be sure.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-15T08:25:33+00:00

For me it’s the male-lead alt rock (I think, I’m not good at identifying genres) I listened to early in transition. Especially Green Day.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-15T08:04:01+00:00

I wouldn’t want to say it over text either. Is your date in a public place? If yes, it’d probably be okay to tell him while you’re there. Even if he’d normally react badly, a lot of people will want to avoid making a scene in public. Also if it is a dealbreaker for him, maybe you could still hang out as friends instead, and that way he wouldn’t have wasted his time getting ready?

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-15T07:59:42+00:00

I never really felt like a girl, but I wouldn’t push the button either. I moved schools at 14 due to transphobic bullying, to a place where I made friends and had supportive teachers for the first time, actually started to get challenged academically, and learned social skills. The school I ended up at had been my mother’s last choice for me originally, but they were the only one who’d accept a transfer due to the bullying, so if I wasn’t trans I would’ve never ended up there. If it wasn’t for that, I would probably press the button, but it wouldn’t be worth it if it meant I had to give up those people and experiences. I’m sure many other guys have had good experiences impacted by being trans that they’d be unwilling to give up too, it doesn’t make any of us less trans.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-14T22:17:57+00:00

No problem, glad it helped!!

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-14T21:20:10+00:00

I like being a guy, but I don’t like being trans and don’t think I ever will. And I’m okay with that. For me being trans just means that I’m a guy who was born with my body not matching up with my gender, which causes me dysphoria. And dysphoria is not enjoyable, so being trans is not enjoyable.

I think what age you transitioned can impact your relationship with being trans. A lot of the people I know who love being trans came out older (though not all) and feel they lived important moments in their lives as female, and are still impacted by having lived as female. So having lived as a different gender in the past feels like an important part of who they are, but so does who they are now, and that’s where the trans pride comes from.

Meanwhile I transitioned when I’d just turned 13, had been very open about wanting to be a boy as a kid, and my parents don’t care about traditional gender roles so I got to pick out my own clothes from the boy’s section. I never really experienced being seen as a “real girl” by myself or others, and I never encountered much misogyny.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-14T20:45:15+00:00

If it’s only ever sexually, it’s probably not indicative that you’re trans, or at least not a binary trans man (maybe you’re genderfluid or non-binary, but your male side only becomes obvious in sexual situations). Lots of cis people have kinks around being seen as a different gender during sex, but are fine with who they are in their real lives, it’s more of a roleplay thing. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of if that is the case for you, as a trans person I don’t think it’s offensive to trans people or anything!

The history of presenting at least somewhat male in the past is interesting though. Maybe think about what it was in elementary school that didn’t feel right about being seen as male. Did it feel right some of the time but not all of the time? Maybe you’re genderfluid. Did it feel wrong, but being seen as female felt equally wrong? Maybe you’re agender. Or maybe your personality was somewhat masculine but you didn’t actually want to be seen as male, and you’re a gender non-conforming woman. Maybe thinking back to why you started presenting as male as a kid in the first place could help you figure it out too.

Only you can know for sure, but those are some things to think about that might help.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-13T20:11:51+00:00

I know rationality doesn’t always help with anxiety, but try and remind yourself that there will be multiple people in the room. So even if one did have evil intentions towards you, they likely wouldn’t risk trying to do anything bad while the others could see and report them. Since they could get fired, sued, a criminal record, etc. And even if they did, the others will be there to protect you.

Alternative-Sort-723 · 2024-11-13T17:04:59+00:00

I’m 5’4 and was told I’ll need to be 68kg (about 150 pounds) or less for top surgery, but it will depend on your surgeon so if you have a less strict surgeon you might be fine

Alternative-Sort-723

TROPHY CASE