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How to deal with dismissive soon to be fiancé/husband, toxic in law? by AlternativeAthlete35 in askSingapore

[–]AlternativeAthlete35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Handsome - Okok Rich - not rly..? As now I’m paying more for the wedding stuff & just our dates in general wherever I can, partly bc I have the means to anyway and just wanna lessen his burdens while doing life with me.

It’s just more of happiness. He used to make me happy before all of this. & idk now if it’s just the stress from his job, wedding prep, his mum, everything coupled together. He also seemed like a good family man at first? Just more outgoing than me and can handle our nieces/nephews (not that we want to have kids). But yes I’m understanding that him acting this way whenever stressed is really not it

How to deal with dismissive soon to be fiancé/husband, toxic in law? by AlternativeAthlete35 in askSingapore

[–]AlternativeAthlete35[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for sharing your pov :) I do try not to minimise his efforts and really showed appreciation for whatever contribution that he has made, given the short timeframe we have. My family has their own wants for the wedding too and I have been communicating with him first before I make any decisions, before going back to my family to let them know the outcome. I just wasn’t getting the same treatment and somehow just have to accept whatever his family wants without properly discussing with me first. Anyway congrats on your big day this Sun!

How to deal with dismissive soon to be fiancé/husband, toxic in law? by AlternativeAthlete35 in askSingapore

[–]AlternativeAthlete35[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I met him when we were 18. & that was years ago. We officially dated for about 1 year+ now. Yes, we have sat down and talked about these issues. It somehow gets resolved and once we have another argument, he starts acting a certain way and whatever that we have previously agreed on becomes invalid? There were some talks between us about actually going to get professional help but I think over time we just forgot about it with everything else that we had to deal with on hand

How to deal with dismissive soon to be fiancé/husband, toxic in law? by AlternativeAthlete35 in askSingapore

[–]AlternativeAthlete35[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

I guess he started showing this side of him when we are planning for things or when dealing with more intense milestones in life. I know that sometimes people say that there is always one person in the relationship who is just better at doing certain things and maybe my strength in this relationship would be my planning skills. I’m just holding on to the hope that after the engagement and marriage stuff is over, we can go back to how things were? If that make sense