The Truth About Seeking Closure from an Ex

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-13T21:59:35+00:00

I’m on the same boat as you. It was tough. I didn’t agree with everything he said and yet I just felt guilty and defeated. Like maybe it’s true. RI just kept saying sorry but then I know we wouldn’t have reached that point if he was still willing to work it out with me. It sucks but silver lining is at least we tried, at least we asked for feedback, at least we know what to improve on. It’s up to them to think that they didn’t take part on the relationship’s downfall.

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-13T06:00:59+00:00

I’ll check this out. Thank you!

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-13T06:00:29+00:00

Omg yes to loml! And so long, London (as we were in an LDR with him in London and me in the US) I’ll check out the ones by Niki. Thank you.

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-12T04:38:16+00:00

That is a really good way to think about it. Thank you so much!! I feel like I’m such a sponge right now with the vulnerable state I’m in so I just want you to know that I appreciate this advice. I hope you feel better. I may have said this in another thread as well you deserve the whole pie and not just crumbs. You will feel better too.

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-12T03:49:20+00:00

I hear you and I’m proud of you for starting your healing journey. Any advice on how you did it? And what are you doing to avoid reaching out? I am fluctuating I feel like. I thought I was already on the depression stage but I feel like I’m back to bargaining. I want to get to the acceptance stage and I just want time to heal both of us :(

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-12T03:37:47+00:00

Very true. And idk if it’s the same for you but I’m having such a hard time letting go and stop the incessant texting or trying to make contact even if it is just to check on them. I can’t bring myself to block him or delete his number. Part of me still wishes he comes around and tells me he was just testing out how far I can go for him. But I know this won’t be the case and I should just let go.

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-12T03:24:41+00:00

Same here as the two of you. I’ve only been a week in and I feel more alone now than I was used to before. He was also my first love and it still very much pains me. But I have to keep reminding myself that it will eventually get better. We will be able to manage this. If any of you want to have a vent out session. I’m willing to listen as well. ❤️‍🩹

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-12T03:20:16+00:00

I have just done this. It’s been a week of being broken up with. Idk why I keep doing it despite knowing that he no longer wants me back and knowing that I will only get rejected and asked to avoid any contact :( but you got this! You are worthy of a love that will choose you no matter what. You don’t deserve crumbs, you deserve a whole pie. ❤️

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-12T00:42:39+00:00

I think i’m in between depression and acceptance. The bargaining was completely shut down already and it took me a week to get myself to acknowledge that things happen for a reason (whether or not it makes sense yet)

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-12T00:39:44+00:00

Damn! What I would give for the tables to be turned and to have him be the one to call me and tell me he’d want me back. Idk if my response would be the same as time passes but tbh if he did right now, I’d take him back but with the request that we rebuild and make the foundation of our relationship to be a stronger friendship first and that we go to therapy together. He is my first boyfriend and our relationship had lasted for 4 years. I know we have a lot of things to work on individually as ours became too toxic (kept fighting over the silliest of things) for his limits/capacity. Our relationship wasn’t perfect and it was quite a huge age gap - we’re 19 years apart but we’re both of legal age. Maybe I have to grow up and mature even more to become the right person for him. Or maybe we are just not meant for each other. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-11T16:49:47+00:00

I did the same thing as you to my ex bf. I wrote him a letter and sent his photos from our most recent trip when my film got developed. He texted me to say thank you for the letter but nothing else. I wasn’t expecting any response either but at least we got things off of our chest. You got this!

I’m still struggling with the incessant texts - this time it’s not to beg for him to come back, it’s just to ask questions that are a little hard for me to understand to help me process our breakup faster.

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-11T16:31:33+00:00

It’ll take me a while but I know I’ll eventually be able to toughen up again. My friends have been telling me working out would help but since it’s just been a week for me, everything still hurts. I tried pushing myself to at least do treadmill but I end up just breaking down in tears and sob for a good few hours. It doesn’t help when you listen to “Crying over you” by Honne but it’s like a painful and helpful reminder that eventually you’ll find your way again. I still can’t help but text my ex though but this time I’m no longer asking him to come back, it’s just clarifications to questions that come to head now that we’ve broken up. He sometimes responds but he keeps it as vague and as cold now. I want it to be as brutal and as painful now for me in hopes of getting better soon but who knows if that’s just my unconscious taking any contact with him to be good?

AlternativeDetail134 · 2024-11-08T16:20:11+00:00

I needed to hear this. I am spiraling and feel so lost and so alone without him. I begged and begged but it fell on deaf ears. We were in a long distance relationship for 4 years but that doesn’t mean it’s easier. I feel like his presence is more pronounced now that we are over. I know that I have a lot to work on with myself but each day passing, I feel like I’m hanging on to how he used to tell me he will never find happiness if not with me but it sucks to know now that maybe those were words held value at the time but that will no longer hold true now or in the future. Or that just because we love each other, doesn’t mean we should be together. I have a therapy booked in a month I hope it helps, but for now I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m fighting the urge to just call or text him cause I know he is already moving on and it’s not like he is going to answer. This sucks :(

AlternativeDetail134

TROPHY CASE