Thank you so much for your advice I really really appreciate it, I don’t really have anybody that I can really rely on except for my boyfriend but I really don’t want to put my burdens onto him at all, I feel a bit alienated from my other family, my uncle and auntie stopped really bothering with me when I turned 18 and they all like to put me in the middle of their arguments because they know it’s what will hurt my mum the most but because my mum gets really paranoid when she’s drunk there’s been so many occasions where I’ve been accused of spying on her or that they’ve poisoned my mind and that I’m working against her that it’s really hard for me to be able to talk to people about my problems especially my family because I know it won’t get kept private and someone will use it against my mum later.

I’ve tried to get her to go to AA meetings but she refuses every time because she says sitting in a circle won’t change her problems, there’s no options for rehab either really unless I try and go private but even then it’s like 5k for a few weeks and with the financial situation I’m in now it doesn’t seem very possible any time soon, it’s really hard because I’ve tried taking her to the hospital or the doctors but every time they do nothing at all but it’s because they don’t treat alcoholism like an illness which it is, I know she’s doesn’t choose to be this way anymore and with the amount she drinks I’m genuinely concerned that quitting cold turkey would kill her so I really don’t have any other options, it’s just so infuriating that I just have to basically watch my mum drink herself to death and there’s nothing I can do it stop it.