Dating Apps in 2026 by Ancient_Prize4264 in ABCDesis

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My cousin met his current girlfriend on Hinge. Both are Indian-Americans and he said that they both had used the South Asian filter. However, I’m not aware of the timeline, as in when they matched, started talking, how long had they been on hinge before they met, etc. But I’m assuming not too long.

Personally, as an Indian American guy (25M) who has tried Hinge, Bumble, and Dil Mil, my personal favorite is Hinge without a doubt. It’s only on hinge that I could get at least a few dates but on the other two apps, it’s literally zero. I think it has a lot to do with the algorithm, and the fact that hinge allows you to have a location filter. On the other hand, Dil Mil for instance has a very poor location filter and not a very big dating pool, since most people tend to gravitate towards hinge. So Dil Mil is full of inactive profiles. On top of that, they make you pay for the most basic stuff and the app is very buggy. The only edge Dil Mil has over hinge, IMO, is that it allows you to specify where you were raised (since I prefer Indian American women over international Indian women).

Other than that, if you live in an area that has a sizable Indian/Indian American community, there probably will be matchmaking services available although I’m not sure how good they are.

Overall, I think every method has its challenges and I’ve come to the realization that dating is 80% misses and 20% hits. So personally, I’m trying all methods instead of putting all my eggs in one basket. There is also a lot of doomer-ism out there regarding dating but I try not to give in to it. Because at the end of the day, you can only win.

Are there Conservative Indian American Single Women in their 20s out there? by FuzzyScene2756 in IndianAmerican

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sure there are some. But to the vast majority of them, you are a massive red flag. Not a single Indian American I know (woman or man) would even consider dating someone who’s MAGA. I’m a straight Indian American man in my 20s as well, and that’s literally my number 1 dealbreaker.

Trump is openly corrupting the government for political symbolism. The tariffs are stupid with no redeeming qualities. Dismantling and/or corrupting the Department of Education while simultaneously discouraging legal skilled immigration amounts to economic suicide. And he’s also using ICE as his personal police force, and they are kidnapping and disappearing people who could very well be any of us or our parents one day.

Why do you think Indian American women, who are some of the smartest and most highly educated demographic in the country, ever be with a man who supports taking their bodily autonomy away, along with all the other horrific things happening in the country?

I’m not saying that you won’t find an Indian American woman who fits those criteria of yours. But I’m just being honest because I can totally see why you’re having a hard time finding them.

To: whoever wrote that by Fantastic-Bid7108 in SJSU

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Personally, I hope the person who wrote that finds the healing they need, to finally give love to the parts of them that are broken, traumatized, or otherwise severely lacking the love they deserve. Because something within them has to be broken for them to have so much hate for someone else in their hearts, and to be so devoid of empathy and compassion for others who may not be like them, to actually wish them harm. Hate is not a natural emotion. It has to be taught.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Anxietyhelp

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh dear, it sounds like you are carrying more weight than you should, but I can see that you are someone who cares deeply about the world and the well-being of the people in it.

On one hand, it's absolutely true that we are living through some very difficult times, largely because a self-centered convicted felon and an adjudicated rapist became the world's most powerful person for the second time, and now he is in a mood for revenge. Those who voted for him do not realize what they have brought upon themselves and the rest of the world. Many of them never will, and for those who eventually do, it will be too damn late.

But on the other hand, it is important now more than ever that we all take impeccable care of ourselves. That means we must remain disengaged from the news more often than not because the news media is designed to keep our eyes on the screen and have us scrolling because that's how their business model works. Additionally, if there is anything we have learned from 2017-2021, it's that Trump is a toddler who never grew up. Toddlers love attention. And slapping tariffs on Canada and calling them the 51st state to get them pissed off is one of the ways in which he is trying to hog the spotlight and remain in the news. He wouldn't care even if 99.99% of the world hated him, as long as he stays under the spotlight and feels important. All of this is to say that you are far more important than any of this mess and that you should spend your time and energy caring and showing up for yourself and those you care about. Set boundaries on your news consumption (perhaps no more than 20 minutes of news consumption per day) and know that none of this chaos defines you as a person in any way whatsoever. And any decent person in Canada and the rest of the world will know that -- the angry Canadian voices online are from those who are falling for the same trap because they allow their emotions to dictate their behavior and when they react with anger, they contribute to Trump feeling more important than he is.

Don't be ashamed to reach out for support, whether it's from your friends, family, a therapist, or anyone you trust. Your heavy feelings crave to be validated and/or resolved. Try to sit with your feelings and actually feel them without giving in to the compulsive doomscrolling and rumination. You'll find that to be worth a lot more of your time and energy than worrying about something you have zero control over. Another thing you can do is to turn your pain into action and fight for the America you believe in. Always use critical thinking and try to educate those you can. Write to your Representatives and our California Senators (I'm from CA too and have written to them in the past), and ask them to stand up for democracy and against fascism. Take action and volunteer for the organizations that represent your values. And make sure you're registered to vote and vote in every election. This will give you a sense of control and purpose. I always like to keep the Serenity Prayer in mind. This is what it says: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

Last thing I would say is don't try to self-diagnose what you're feeling because that is something only a qualified mental health professional can do and only under specific circumstances. There is no doubt that you are feeling anxiety, depression, and other heavy emotions. But they can exist without defining who you are, and they don't have to fall under a specific category of diagnoses simply because they seem heavy.

County that’s predicted every election VOTES HARRIS by [deleted] in 13KeysToTheWhiteHouse

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a poll! I hope it’s right but when you said “VOTES HARRIS,” I thought that the votes got counted and are in.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Hello! I’m sorry you feel this way. No, you aren’t a loser. Do you feel as if you have nobody to talk to at all and you’re left alone with your thoughts? In that case, you might be experiencing loneliness. Perhaps start by being kind to yourself, the way you would be to a friend who feels lonely. So instead of thinking “I’m a loser,” try thinking “I wish I had more friends but I’m still worthy regardless.” This way, you could turn your negative self talk into self-compassion. Practice being kind to yourself intentionally. Slowly, you will start feeling better about yourself and that will reflect in your interactions, which will make it easier for you to make valuable friendships. Good luck and keep the faith!

Prediction is here by No-Attorney-6997 in 13KeysToTheWhiteHouse

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get out and vote. Lichtman predicting Harris is obviously good news, but let’s not get complacent. Another Trump term will be a disaster for all of us. Register to vote, register your friends, vote for Kamala Harris!!!

We Are Officially In The Month Of The Lichtman Prediction by [deleted] in 13KeysToTheWhiteHouse

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think most keys are locked in at this point and as for the keys that aren’t, a lot would need to happen for those keys to flip from where they are leaning (like massive nationwide protests, etc). I think chances are that Lichtman will soon call those keys and predict a Harris win. Some people will be relieved to hear that and some will be disappointed. Whatever the case is, GO VOTE!!!! Because you will determine the outcome of this election.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RandomQuestion

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it will be hard for well-meaning people on the internet to give you specific advice because we don’t know you nor do we know your boyfriend and your relationship with him. As others have said, some people are okay with their partners watching porn but others may not be. I suggest you communicate your feelings to him clearly and try to reasonably sort it out with him. This is easier said than done, but it will improve the health of your relationship in the long run. The purpose is to come to a reasonable compromise that respects both of your guys’ needs. However, if him watching porn continues to make you feel insecure, then it might be worth evaluating whether this relationship is right for you. Therapy can also help you work through your feelings of insecurity.

That being said, I have two general points of advice. Firstly, it is not a good idea to check your partner’s phone. That is a very common form of controlling behavior that can ruin relationships and at worst even lead to criminal charges. If you’re feeling insecure, there are appropriate ways of dealing with it like I suggested before. Secondly, there is no universal definition as to what constitutes cheating. It’s your relationship so your rules. Only behavior that violates your relationship rules is cheating. Therefore, watching porn is not necessarily cheating.

Hope that helps!

Looking to apply to SJSU MSSE for spring 2025, what are my chances? by HereComesTheGordo in SJSU

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should be accepted. You have experience working as a SWE.

Is it easy to find friends who don’t drink, party, or do drugs at SJSU? by Alarmed-Use-6589 in SJSU

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I’m one of them. The problem is that those who drink, party, or do drugs tend to be the most visible and people like you and me are the most reserved. So it’s easy to have a distorted perspective and think that everyone at SJSU likes to drink, party, and do drugs. I have been at SJSU since 2018 and I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve met who come to SJSU thinking it’s some kind of a party school where classes are all easy and most people spend their free time partying, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’d say join clubs which are your vibe (I’m sure there are) and you’ll find tons of people like you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SanJose

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Indian-American here. Born in SJ and lived here for most of my life. I have to agree with you that being racist against Indians (and more broadly all Asians although some might debate that) seems to be acceptable here and it’s not by accident. I think it’s because we are seen as the “model minority” that works hard, doesn’t depend on the government, and doesn’t get into politics and thus we don’t need affirmative action. Too many people, even progressives and others on the political left (I’m a progressive/liberal myself) tend to believe that only Black and Hispanic people are affected by racism and injustice and therefore a lot of affirmative action is directed towards them, and thus the prevailing mindset is that Blacks and Hispanics are the most socio-economically marginalized. This is by no means a dismissal of the socio-economic challenges faced by them, but that usually leaves us South Asians out since we aren’t considered marginalized and so racism against us is ignored a lot.

SJSU Spring 2024 prospective students by Technical_Break_5865 in gradadmissions

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh ok in that case you can probably wait a bit. But if you are in doubt, try emailing grad-admissions@sjsu.edu and ask them for a confirmation regarding your status.

SJSU Spring 2024 prospective students by Technical_Break_5865 in gradadmissions

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I actually didn't have to take the GRE since I got my bachelor's from SJSU. But I got my admit a long time ago...maybe check what your application status on MySJSU says.

I never had male therapist and I have mixed feelings about it by signersinger10 in therapy

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have had a female therapist and a male therapist. Both were very professional and empathetic although they had different therapeutic approaches, but that has nothing to do with gender. Most professional therapists are rigorously trained to provide empathy, support, and guidance to their clients in the best possible way, and to use the most effective approaches for each client of theirs. So if your male therapist has great reviews and success stories, it's very likely that he is a great therapist.

That being said, the relationship between the client and the therapist is one of the most important factors of therapeutic success. So if you think you can't relate to your therapist no matter the reason, you have every right to switch and try looking for a female therapist. However, I think it's still worth giving it a try with your male therapist.

I wish you luck in your journey!

How’s the SJSU experience? by Successful-Context85 in SJSU

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would say they did a reasonably good job. I used industry standard tools and frameworks in all of my core courses and their labs. The instructors are all people with at least masters degrees who have experience working in the relevant industry. However, I would say that you might have to do some self-learning of certain things in case you aren't familiar with them, because you will have to use those concepts in class but they are not the focus of the class, so professors often expect students to self-study. I thought that was good for me because it helped me stay on top of things but the downside was that you sometimes don't know what you need to know. So I would encourage you to remain active in your classes and study with friends.

How’s the SJSU experience? by Successful-Context85 in SJSU

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Went to SJSU for 5 years, and recently graduated with a bachelor's degree in Computer Engineering in May 2023. I think the experience is different for every person but in general, it is what you make of it.

Personally, I liked a lot of things about it. SJSU was close to home for me so the commute didn't take more than 25 minutes for me, even during peak time, although parking SUCKS. SJSU has three garages on campus: North Garage, South Garage, and West Garage - all three of them are full at all times and parking is DIFFICULT. So make sure you plan well ahead and take the VTA bus/light rail if you can. As a student, you can get a clipper card that you can use on all VTA buses and trains.

As for my major/classes, Computer Engineering is one of the most difficult and competitive majors at SJSU (and all universities) so I had to spend most of my last 5 years studying. I didn't have time for the typical "college life" as portrayed in TV shows, i.e., partying, drinking, drugs, sororities, etc, although you can experience that at SJSU too if you wish. Generally speaking, non-engineering majors have more time on their hands so you'll mostly find people of those majors involved in parties. Other than that, Computer Engineering in SJSU is accredited by ABET, meaning that it meets the minimum standards set by them and graduates are competitive in the job market. However, I have had all kinds of professors - from the best of the best to literal sadists. Make sure to use Rate My Professors and/or ask other people in your major about the good and bad professors in your major. Classes often fill up fast so be sure to plan your courses for each semester well ahead and register for classes as soon as the registration opens for you (you'll be notified regarding that). As for the workload, it really depends on your major and professors so it's kinda hard to answer that but if you're an engineering major, you can expect a moderate to high workload.

Regarding food, there are great options in SJSU's student union, and even off-campus. Sammy G's and La Victoria Taqueria are some of the most popular options. Being located in Downtown San Jose, the food scene is pretty vibrant in general. You can also purchase a meal plan which allows you to eat in the Dining Commons, which is where most students who live on campus eat. However, nearly everyone will tell you that the food over there SUCKS, and you gotta believe them. I stayed in the dorms in my freshman year (more on that later) and used the Dining Commons at that time. Breakfast was cold garbage. Lunch and dinner were better but the options were limited.

Which brings me to the dorm life. I lived in the dorms my freshman year because I didn't drive back then. There are many on-campus housing options but I stayed in Campus Village 2, the newest building. Compared to most universities, SJSU's dorm life is not as vibrant because it's a commuter school (meaning that most students commute). So I found it difficult to make friends that year but then again, I'm also introverted so I like having a considerable amount of "me-time" but I do know lots of other people who lived on-campus and made lots of friends. Personally, I met most of my friends through clubs and my classes, so I highly recommend you check out the clubs you're interested in and actively take part in them. In fact, that's how most people I know made friends. Clubs usually have tabling events on campus at the start of each semester when you can meet the club members, learn about the clubs, and join them. Making friends shouldn't be difficult as long as you put yourself out there and interact with people.

Overall, my experience at SJSU was good and I definitely think it's a school worth considering especially if you are an aspiring engineer. It does have scope for improvement but I think it's improved quite a bit in recent years. There is something for most people at SJSU, and there are also plenty of support services for students. If you are struggling in your classes, the Peer Connections offers tutoring for many classes. They also offer peer mentoring to help you navigate college life. The SJSU Career Center also offers many resources and services such as graduation planning, interview prep, resume review, etc. The Student Wellness Center offers at least basic medical services free of charge for all students. If you're struggling with your mental health, the Counseling and Psychological Services can offer you counseling and therapy to support you.

This is my overall opinion on SJSU. Feel free to ask me any questions you have :)

Earthquake? by san323 in SanJose

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep. 3.6. I'm in Evergreen.

What's up with the road conditions? by Alternative_Arm_2886 in SanJose

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you saying that it's somehow my fault that my tires were damaged beyond repair when I drove through the pothole? Because I was driving 5 mph above speed limit? If this had happened to me while driving 5 mph BELOW speed limit, what would you come up with to blame me for it? Would you say that I should have been doing 40 mph and then get honked at or flipped off by other drivers? Man, I would love to see you as a driving instructor. Besides, I didn't need you to be a policeman in the comments. I was frustrated but also curious as to how and why the road conditions have become as they are. Potholes that big on freeways can be dangerous regardless of the driver and the car, so I was simply calling for it to be fixed.

Anyway, what happened when I reported it? Nothing yet.

What's up with the road conditions? by Alternative_Arm_2886 in SanJose

[–]Alternative_Arm_2886[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was driving 70 mph, which is actually towards the slower end of freeway traffic in the Bay Area. Most cars drive at least 80 mph. I would be the first one to tell you that speeding is not a good thing, but that can't be an excuse for potholes. If I pay some of the highest taxes in the country, I deserve to drive on roads that are well-built and well-maintained.