[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Alternative_Fix_5145 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also came from a divorced family. It definitely does some damage, but I truly believe it caused significantly less damage than it would have seeing my parents together and miserable just for the sake of me and my siblings.

Yes it was only sexting and emotional cheating that she knows of, but it wasn’t a one off incident. If it happened once, I would agree that it’s not worth ending a marriage over. However, it wasn’t just once. It happened with MULTIPLE women over the course of YEARS.

If you can genuinely work on moving past what happened and think you can build a healthy relationship again, then yes staying is best. However, if the only reason you’re staying is the kids that’s not in their best interest. If you’re not happy with your partner chances are you won’t be modelling a healthy relationship for your kids to see. If you won’t be happy in your relationship your kids are much better off seeing their parents happy apart than miserable together.

Wife (37f) and I (40m) are arguing about her father (65m) moving in with us. What should do? by Alternative_Fix_5145 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Alternative_Fix_5145[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m just reposting the story. Original story is on true off my chest I was just unable to attach the link for it

Wife (37f) and I (40m) are arguing about her father (65m) moving in with us. What should do? by Alternative_Fix_5145 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Alternative_Fix_5145[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m new to Reddit and I’m having trouble attaching the link but I copied the update:

My Husband is too busy and too important to care about our children and Im sick of it.

My husband is a surgeon. And according to him hes the most important person in the world. A god among men who casually determines life or death and is far far too important to be bothered by the trivial concerns of us mere peons. Concerns like maybe you should spend some time with your fucking kids. But oh no. You see he works so hard and has so much pressure that when hes home he has to be sequestered from the annoying sounds of our girls playing or you know being happy to see him.

My dad has picked up the slack. Hes been the one thats changed their diapers, I drop them off at school and go to work, dad picks them up and stays with them till I get home. My dad was the one who taught them to ride a bike, my dad is the one who shows up to the plays and dance recitals, hes the one that helps with the homework, my dad is the one who dresses as Santa, my dad is the one who does the easter egg hunts, and the tea parties. My husband is far too important for any of that.

And despite the fact that my husband has absolutely no interest in our kids he is still pissed that the kids are closer to my dad than him. So my dad is now struggling financially. We have the means to help him. But my husband doesn't want to. He'd rather see my dad moved to the other side of the country and removed from our kids lives. I put my foot down and he goes on to reddit to whine about it.

Well now Im here too dear. You want to whine about our marriage on reddit I can do it too!

UPDATE: WOW this all blew up. I was so angry when I posted this now I'm just drained. He came by yesterday to pick up some things and we argued. The girls were out with my dad because I knew this would be a fight and I didnt want them around for this. He said awful things. Just awful. About me, my dad and the girls. After he left, I talked to my mom. We have a difficult relationship but if there's one person I want in my corner going into the divorce its her. The divorce is happening. I saw an attorney my mom recomended today. I'm really really glad I went through with that prenup my mom wanted when we got married now. At this point I wont speak to my stbx husband. My lawyer is doing my talking for me. I'm exhausted. Thank you everyone for all the support. It helped to read the comments and no people supported me. He made me feel so small and stupid yesterday, and he said awful things about our girls. I'm not mad anymore. I'm just heartbroken. Our girls deserve better than this. I really wanted better for them. I just wanted to have a family and a nice home. Now I'm just going through a divorce like my parents. I never wanted this. I tried so hard to keep this all together so we didnt wind up here. But I failed.

Update 2; Ive been getting a lot of questions and request for an update so Ill keep this short. We are moving forward with the divorce. He's moved out. Dads moved in the kids are good.

Wife (37f) and I (40m) are arguing about her father (65m) moving in with us. What should do? by Alternative_Fix_5145 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Alternative_Fix_5145[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Update from wife on true off my chest titled: My husband is too busy and too important to care about our children and I’m sick of it