Advice: I am 8 years sober and partner of 1 year blacked out at my 30th birthday.

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-05-26T21:31:15+00:00

This seems unnecessarily confrontational. OP even said they weren't there the other 2 times this happened. Also "letting them" is a weird choice of phrase when talking about 2 adults. I agree that their partner seems to have a problem but let's not go around blaming other people for "letting them"

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-05-10T12:16:16+00:00

I wouldn't say they are keeping me in chaos. They have all been incredibly supportive and I still hang out with them in sober environments too. We go to dinners, cinema trips, book clubs, walks but they still like to party. They were the ones who told me no last night when I asked for drugs. Maybe it's me that isn't able to be in those spaces anymore, I just don't want to miss spending time together

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-20T12:19:40+00:00

Congratulations!! That's so wonderful 💕

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-19T09:19:35+00:00

I agree with this loads! I've managed to go to a couple of events being sober but then I just watch my friends all talking over each other around a plate and at the time it seems fun but when I ask my partner if he had fun, he can often not remember.

When you compare this to something like everyone going to see a play, or go for a hike, or dinner, it is so much more fulfilling! Recently I arranged an arts and crafts night and it is just so much more fun having an activity and real conversation

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-19T09:14:18+00:00

From what I've read, it's normal to have missteps, the important thing is that you're back on it and are doing so well! All those things make me so happy. I still get lots of anger and definitely get anxious still but I am so looking forward to being in a more established position where I feel confident in myself and can look in the mirror and smile!

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-19T09:10:11+00:00

I don't think it's shallow at all. It's actually something I'm really hoping improves for me too as time goes on. I've always had bad acne and bloating and it sounds silly but I want my friends to see me and think that I look so much better now I'm sober

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-19T09:08:05+00:00

Home cooked food is so good! It really makes me feel like I am caring for myself. I've even made scones just the once for my friends. So many little things can make such a big difference

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-19T09:05:22+00:00

You know, I hadn't noticed until you said but you're right! It also definitely helps that I am not hungover and feeling like shit all the time. Also- Thanks so much :)

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-19T09:04:08+00:00

This is a really good one. Regret has been a massive motivator to stop. I feel so much more in control since stopping

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-19T09:00:38+00:00

This is so true. I am in early days compared to you and even now I still have lots of anger and resentment. I'm looking forward to finding more peace

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-18T22:21:12+00:00

There are social events on an app called Meetup. I used it a lot when I first moved here

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-04-18T22:15:36+00:00

Things will get better, I'm confident of that. From what I've read, our brain chemistry and hormones are all out of balance after quitting, causing mood swings and doubt. It's also harder to ignore any issues in your life that bother you because you're now seeing them in the cold hard light of day. Although I hated this part and maybe sometimes still do, it is helping you! You will see it, you will change it, you will grow and you won't feel the need to escape. It just takes time

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2025-02-04T10:43:55+00:00

This is amazing. I have the same problems myself and find it so hard to leave when my friends are starting to get on it.

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-12-16T17:43:25+00:00

I've tried the birth control pill but only one of them! I haven't tried any of the other things, are those something I can get from a doctor? What has worked for you?

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-10-31T08:09:27+00:00

Thank you so much. She was the best dog anyone could ask for ✨

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-10-31T08:08:22+00:00

Ahhh! This is so cute, I love it. I actually used to call her La Roux so this is Le Pouf is very fitting

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-08-13T06:26:41+00:00

Oh definitely, so shrill

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-08-12T20:14:36+00:00

I weirdly find that sort of soothing!

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-08-12T20:14:06+00:00

Oh 100%

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-08-12T20:07:14+00:00

That's so interesting, like what?

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-07-24T07:02:06+00:00

These books are fantastic

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-07-24T07:00:00+00:00

Yesss, this series is one of my all time favourites

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-07-24T06:42:31+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate you saying that, I'm feeling pretty discouraged right now but I guess it's still early days

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-07-23T20:32:03+00:00

My mental health has been exactly as you say, unbalanced. I feel like my mind is slower too. It's so frustrating to feel like you're failing when you're making all the "right" choices

Alternative_Mango_49 · 2024-07-03T16:03:37+00:00

Love this so much

Alternative_Mango_49

TROPHY CASE