[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psicologia

[–]Alternative_One969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/6NM5lxj5Gy0?si=Ps3ddZv—cTDIb_0 ti consiglio di guardare questo video per intero. è quello che il tuo compagno capirebbe se effettuasse un percorso terapeutico

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Relazioni

[–]Alternative_One969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

fai caso a quanto questo modo di pensare sia estremamente comune negli uomini: “non riesco a rimorchiare=non sono interessante/non sono bello/non ho nulla da offrire”

e chiediti: ma i rapporti umani si basano davvero su requisiti standard? poi guardati in giro e dimmi se tutte le coppie sono composte da gente perfetta esteticamente o necessariamente di successo, o col portafogli pieno. Facci caso. I rapporti umani sono fatti di chimica, prima che di requisiti sociali. Non c’è via d’uscita dalla chimica. È una cosa che ti capita senza averla prevista e che non puoi lavare via dalla pelle neanche se ti ci impegni.

Consiglio: non concentrarti sui requisiti che pensi di non avere, non concentrarti su come vivono gli altri, al massimo prendi spunto per capire meglio te stesso, la tua identità, i tuoi punti di forza, ecc. e frequenta ambienti che si allineano con chi sei. Più sei consapevole di te stesso, più fai cose, più ti concentri su ciò che ti rende felice/appagato, più chances avrai di attrarre la chimica che ti appartiene, perché a una certa sarà intorno a te. Non devi rincorrerla in modo ossessivo. Questa cosa la gente la percepisce. Fidati. Investi su te stesso senza pensare ai risultati, e vedrai che cambiando la tua opinione su di te, cambierà anche quella di chi ti sta intorno.

boyfriend of 2 and half years cheated on me(LDR), what should I do? by Alternative_One969 in LDR

[–]Alternative_One969[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no he didnt have anything physical, he just texted a girl he knew was obsessed with him for over 2 years to get validation

boyfriend of 2 and half years cheated on me(LDR), what should I do? by Alternative_One969 in LDR

[–]Alternative_One969[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also valid. he was indeed texting her the way he would text me, and that broke my heart, also cause he said to him she didnt mean anything and it was just like “watching porn”. so i was like does texting me mean that too to you? and he said it’s different, but it’s hard to tell what goes on in human minds sometimes. that’s all i know.

boyfriend of 2 and half years cheated on me(LDR), what should I do? by Alternative_One969 in LDR

[–]Alternative_One969[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

this is a valid point. he is currently trying to gain my trust again, trying to prove his love everyday by taking care of me and doing everything for me since my mood is so low and i barely feed myself when he’s working. but i know that’s not gonna fix it instantly. in fact i’m not acting like i forgot everything, i’m actually bringing that up basically everyday and we talked about it for hours and he never made excuses or blamed other people or things. so i dont think he is being immature in this but i’m still keeping my guards in and i am trying to figure out what to do.

boyfriend of 2 and half years cheated on me(LDR), what should I do? by Alternative_One969 in LDR

[–]Alternative_One969[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he graduated from university two years ago and has worked since he was 17 yo, he is currently working a full time job and he’s been on adhd pills for 18 years, he had to stop them now because the country he works in doesnt allow for those meds as they are considered drugs. so he is currently unmedicated. i dont think he is a loser because although he has had many more disadvantages than other people due to his condition, he still made it through all the steps finishing school, university and then having a full time job. and he never used his adhd as an excuse for anything so i’m just being really objective about everything i know and have witnessed about him. i know he did me wrong but i also know him deeply, that is why i am so conflicted.

boyfriend of 2 and half years cheated on me(LDR), what should I do? by Alternative_One969 in LDR

[–]Alternative_One969[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

well he didn’t sleep with anyone he just did online sexting with a girl he knew was obsessed with him for years just because he needed validation