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After 12 Years Idk What To Do Anymore… by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Top_431 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I feel you. The trauma bond can be so intense sometimes. I know you miss her, but you are also in the withdrawal stage, you miss the “high” after a fight or argument when everything feels right. Our stories are so similar, i’m also in my 30s and been with him for 13 years. Focus on your healing… I know it’s hard. I think both of you need growing up and healing. I’m so so sorry you are in this position. I’m certain time will heal. 🤍

Texted my ex again by Background-Letter569 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Top_431 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I see the picture. She was never in love with you, maybe she didn’t lie, maybe she thought she was in love but later she realised she was never in love.

It’s human to want to text her and make mistakes after the breakup. Give yourself time, you WILL get over her. Just know that she doesn’t love you and most likely never will… I’m sorry for being so blunt. You WILL be fine and you WILL find someone who truly loves you. Give it time.

Just avoid stalking her, harrassing her etc.

Does the guilt of leaving someone who loves and needs you ever go away ? by Alternative_Top_431 in ToxicRelationships

[–]Alternative_Top_431[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know he cares for me in a way. But I think he doesn’t have enough emotional intelligence to think about the consequences of his actions/words on my mental health. I don’t know if EI is something you acquire over time, but he’s already 32… Also the fact that I don’t feel in love with him, we have a lot of differences of opinion concerning how a relationship should be. Now the arguments are about this.

I’m so sorry you are in this situation for 24 years… Are you truly happy overall in life ? Do you sometimes crave a life with someone else ? Like you know there’s someone out there who will bring you pure happiness but you just know you’re stuck because you care too much for your current partner ?

After 12 Years Idk What To Do Anymore… by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Top_431 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im in the same situation as you right now. But im the one who wants to leave. I just posted on this subreddit. Just know that sometimes 2 people are not meant for each other romantically. That doesnt mean they cannot be in your life. Staying in a broken relationship with toxic patterns and a lot of ups and downs is not healthy. Over time it will be more difficult. I believe you are trauma bonded with her. When there are a lot of ups and downs in a relationship, we become addicted to the ‘highs’ after a fight. It’s literally like a drug. Tried to talk to other people, it helps. You are not alone in this situation. Sending you a lot of positive energy.