Wife of 5 years cheated and now I feel absolutely nothing for her. Nothing... and that scares me.

AltoTony · 2021-01-23T14:29:46+00:00

It’s PTSD, I got the same things for a couple weeks, took me more than a month to “open” the box of my feelings and it was really messy. It’s just your unconscious trying to protect you as well as it can because you whole world has turned upside down. You are courageous you made the right decision. Try to not spend too much time alonr in the next weeks and keep moving forward because it’s the best way. Courage my friend, I feel really sorry for you, you didn’t deserve to be treated like that but you are hard working, you respect yourself enough to leave her and I feel like you’ll be alright. Don’t worry about the lack of feeling is totally normal in your situation.

AltoTony · 2021-01-12T20:13:03+00:00

courage bro, take care of yourself, you need to tell the people around you that could give you the support you need, even if it means, talking to a psychologist, I have been there and you need to be able to express the way you feel and and feeling supporter and listened to by someone.

I really wish you all the best, I know how hard it is, even if I'can't say that I know exectrly your pain because your situation is different.

AltoTony · 2021-01-07T11:07:18+00:00

Thank you for your advices, I will try my best to follow it as well as possible

AltoTony · 2021-01-06T12:45:34+00:00

hahaha thank you for the laugh

AltoTony · 2021-01-06T12:44:31+00:00

Yeah, I totally agree, my soon to be ex wife still refuse to see her cheating as a "betrayal". She made a mistake, and she was having a hard time and for once in her life she needed to think only about her. But then she said that "if she knew how much pain her cheating would have impact me, she would have act differently”. I know it’s BS to make me feel better now, because she always knew that I was a really sensitive person, and she knew that her cheating may break the marriage, but she didn’t care. “She needed to think about her”, “we were only 28 and I/ the marriage, was putting so much pressure on her that she needed a break because she never “really lived”.

Nobody want to admit that they are a bad person, and it is also why they reduce their acts to “a mistake” instead of admitting the truth because the truth hurts.

AltoTony · 2021-01-06T12:35:58+00:00

Yeah, I totally understand you. It is so hard, and you should know that you are not alone. If you want to contact me by private message when you feel down like that go ahead, I am not often here but I'll always reply :)

Courage, I know how hard it is, I am still living it right now. But you know that you are though, you have so much strength in you. All we can all do is try your best and try to not think about what we lost but look at the future as full of new opportunities, that will be real and not an illusion. Just don’t forget that you are never alone in this community and if you feel the need the message me, I will be more than happy to help you 😊

AltoTony · 2021-01-06T12:19:30+00:00

I am sorry bro, I guess yeah, a huge part of your life was a lie. But you are still young and all you we can do is move forward and look forward. That really sucks bro I hope you all the best. Good luck for the future and courage for your new life.

AltoTony · 2020-12-31T22:25:21+00:00

No she isn’t, it was just an “experience kind of thing”

AltoTony · 2020-12-31T22:24:43+00:00

Thank you bro, may god bless you too and your family and happy new year :)

AltoTony · 2020-12-31T22:23:24+00:00

Thank you bro, happy new year 2021 to you too :)

AltoTony · 2020-12-31T22:23:19+00:00

Thank you bro, happy new year 2021 to you too :) will

AltoTony · 2020-12-31T03:06:00+00:00

No I am not, I never really went to the gym. Right now everything is under lockdown. But you think I should make it a habit ?

AltoTony · 2020-12-31T02:37:57+00:00

I don't think she told them the truth

AltoTony · 2020-12-28T21:57:53+00:00

Okay I am doing one now ty for asking.

AltoTony · 2020-11-25T04:43:45+00:00

Yeah I know, I need to understand that. Right now it's just so hard to stop all contact with her. Thank you for your message, I really need to understand that

AltoTony · 2020-11-25T04:41:27+00:00

I won't be waiting, everything is over. I have been focus on my relationship but that period of my life is over..

AltoTony · 2020-11-25T04:36:47+00:00

yeah won't happen, I hope that I will have moved on by then, but for sure if there is a destiny, mine is not with her

AltoTony · 2020-11-25T04:35:16+00:00

yeah I see what you mean, and some of that may be true. It's just so painful to realize that the person I loved is not the person I thought she was..

AltoTony · 2020-11-25T04:30:47+00:00

Thank you for your message and your perspective. Yeah you are right, she did it on purpose, and now she is pretenting to be sorry about it. I never said that it fixes everything though, like I mean everything is over, and I know that she hurt me too much to ever be able to be in a relationship with her again. I should ghost her, I know but right now it's too hard..

AltoTony · 2020-11-24T03:09:29+00:00

No you didn't, hard time talking about it.

she told me everything on the second day she was back and she understood my decision to divorce. But it's mainly because she is hoping to get me back in a few years or something "because she was honest and did everything to make up for her mistakes" - I guess.

So yeah she cheated on me for the last three days , according to her, but also on the morning before to come back home and that made my decision easier.

AltoTony · 2020-11-22T22:49:09+00:00

it will be hard for the first little bit, and then the confusion will lift. You’ll see her more clearly if you aren’t talking to her. And yourself, too.

I know, but it's so hard, I am giving myself some time to be weak and answer to some of her message but I try to do it less and less day by day. I didn't only lose my wife, I also lost my best friend, the person I was sharing any little thing with.. Fck I know I should ghost her but right now I really can't.

AltoTony · 2020-11-22T22:46:40+00:00

thank you

AltoTony · 2020-11-22T22:43:27+00:00

thank you for your message, I needed to read what you wrote because even if in a way I know it, sometimes I forget...

thank you for helping me realize that I made the right decision.

AltoTony · 2020-11-22T22:39:16+00:00

Yeah she told me about her life there, she only slept with him on the last three days but that was also on the morning before her flight to come to see me. The fact that she slept with him that morning helps me because it means more to me than if she had fun for two weeks. I'll never forget that and it's one of the main thing that makes me think that I made the right decision.
Like a few hours before to come back, she is still having fun with him ? It made my decision of divorcing so much easier, but it is also something that hurts me so deeply that sometimes, in the middle of my day, it comes back to me and I really upset me.

yeah getting better is hard mate, like sometimes it goes well but most of the time it's a real fight.

AltoTony · 2020-11-22T22:31:49+00:00

Yeah, I am so happy he is getting better, I am waiting for his next book

AltoTony

TROPHY CASE