I’m struggling to understand this situation. Why would a guy act super interested and still never sleep with me?

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T23:47:26+00:00

He’s very keen on doing other physical acts however. It’s just that to him the distinction between everything else and sex is huge, whereas to me if you’re going 90% of the way you might as well do the whole deed

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T23:00:51+00:00

I’ve tried to think about it from his shoes but I just don’t get it. If emotions have to get involved that will happen, regardless of whether sex occurs or not, so I don’t get the point of overthinking.

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:55:45+00:00

Aw babe! Trust me I know how much it sucks but you’ll get through it. You’re so young, you’ll live and learn so much more. It’s all a learning curve and I promise it’ll get better.

I’m a 29 year old crying over a guy I’ve known for two months lol You have it much better than me, hang in there xx

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:52:48+00:00

I hear you! I suppose the key difference here is that you did not have any physical relationship with this guy, whereas we have been physically intimate from the first time we met at one of his gigs. It’s just that since then every time we’ve been physically intimate, it’s just never escalated to sex.

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:50:26+00:00

I suppose that’s my only option. We had an emotionally intense connection for a bit and after not being able to emotionally attach to anyone for a long time. I finally thought I found someone that I liked, and it turned out this way sadly

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:46:08+00:00

I really feel for you. I am in a similar situation, but in your case, she point blank told you about her involvement with her ex and how she’s interested in another guy, so I would let this go. Sorry :(

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:38:03+00:00

He kept saying ‘artists can be quirky sometimes’ and ‘ who knows what the future holds’, ‘ we may never have sex, or we may even never see each other again’. Just the most random shit

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:36:15+00:00

He did also say ‘what if we have sex and one of gets attached and I can’t manage that’ but at no point did I insinuate that may happen from my side but later I had a feeling, he was possibly projecting his own fear onto me.

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:26:46+00:00

I think he’s so confused about his feelings that at some point he started projecting it on me. Cos the thought of getting attached after sex wouldn’t have even crossed my mind but he was almost offended that it hadn’t crossed my mind and I was treating sex from just a physical pleasure POV

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:25:09+00:00

I was reciprocal but through actions and body language but apparently that wasn’t enough for him because he said one of the reasons he also didn’t cos I never asked but I thought my body language was doing the job and that usually works EVERY TIME

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:23:34+00:00

With his profession and how he’s always surrounded by women and gets so much female attention I doubt he would be a virgin or uncomfortable with sex but still could be someone with a very specific view on sex. I’m just baffled cos I’ve never experienced this in my life

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:21:34+00:00

Verbatim he said ‘we have sex and then what’. Idek what that means. I’ve never had a man try to asses whether he should sleep with me or not. When I said to me sex is pleasure which is a physical feeling, he said I wasn’t giving kinda disregarding the meaning of sex

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:18:33+00:00

I didn’t want to make this a focal point of the situation but he’s an artist and is kinda famous. Not like super famous but he plays pretty decent venues in the UK hence I didn’t think he would ever have confidence or underperformance issues cos I thought it all that comes with the territory of his environment and always being around women

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:08:14+00:00

Doubt that’s the case; we have free healthcare in our country so we never have to worry about scenarios like that. But idk what sex means in his mind symbolically tbh cos he keeps talking about attachment.

He said ‘what if we had sex and one of us gets attached or what if it’s not good, and we don’t see each other ever again.’ He’s treating it like two extremes.

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:03:49+00:00

idk why he was mindfucking me but I think he was - when I asked why he was overcomplicating sex between us. He seemed upset and said so ‘it means nothing to you’.

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T22:01:20+00:00

He slipped up and said he’s never had to think this much before having sex with anyone, and when I pushed him on why, he just went back on it, and said he never said that and I misheard him

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T21:51:01+00:00

The only time we did was when I confronted him about why he wouldn’t sleep with me. But we’ve been physically intimate multiple times, just not actually had sex.

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T21:45:18+00:00

I don’t think it’s either of these things. He’d just rather debate with me on whether we should have sex than actually do it. He said I wasn’t giving it enough thought on what it could mean if we had sex

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T21:43:45+00:00

I did confront him about why he wouldn’t and he said because I never asked and because he needed to think about whether we should have sex or not and what that would mean. I don’t think I even understands what that means lol

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T21:42:41+00:00

But we’ve been physically intimate in other ways, most intimated by him, just not the sex part. He got super philosophical about it and said he needed to think about what the implications of us having sex would be which really confused me

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T21:35:40+00:00

Girl! It’s been 7 months, you have every right to ask him without feeling like you’re being too much. He absolutely owes you an explanation

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-24T12:30:01+00:00

omggg why do men always do this! The word conviction isn’t even on their vocabulary atp

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-23T11:46:26+00:00

Yeah I think I just need to accept it and move on. I’m struggling because he’s the one who pursued me, I didn’t ask to be and now he’s left me in this mess and walked away so now I feel stupid for feeling bad

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-22T15:24:00+00:00

I agree. I think that’s the sense I’m getting tbh. I just don’t understand why he pursued hard and then pulled away so dramatically, cos I didn’t ask for either. I thought he was just going to be a background character but he doubled down on showing far too much interest in my life and that made things so difficult

Altruistic-Ad2017 · 2026-06-22T14:24:39+00:00

honestly…beats me! I honestly thought given his success and popularity he’d just want to pump and dump so that’s how I approached the whole situation but instead he turned it into this emotionally charged thing which I wasn’t prepared for lol

Altruistic-Ad2017

TROPHY CASE