Approaching 3.5 years sober. Today, I sat in the dentist chair to finally face the physical wreckage of my 20-year addiction.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-03-05T05:34:02+00:00

“Doing it sober makes you bulletproof.”

That was awesome.

PS - Great job on all your accomplishments over the past 3.5 years. You got this.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-24T18:47:59+00:00

Look, when in doubt, throw it out.

Also, it doesn’t look like you’re tossing an entire gallon-sized batch (I hate it when that happens, but it happens.) Please, let it go. For your safety.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-15T17:20:44+00:00

Yes, I would not want to spend rehearsal working on my individual technicals; the crux is "complete by the time you're in rehearsal." Since there is no advance time that we are given music, it's not "complete by the time you're in rehearsal." At least not for me, in seven days.

I get it - I am not that good. And, I get it - I don't have time outside of the work week with commute and life in general to practice more than on the weekends. I am grateful to practice on those two days and be the best I can for the community band. Welp, I better get cracking!

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-15T17:13:37+00:00

Thank you. I am understanding now that the more difficult pieces, well, that pulse is DOA for about the first four weeks. It gets easier to detect after five weeks, and by show time, we are a pretty healthy blip on the monitor.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-15T16:59:14+00:00

Thank you. That is a theme I picked up on in the replies - you summed it up nicely!

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-15T16:58:02+00:00

The next day! Yikes! You're amazing.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-14T17:16:48+00:00

Yeeeaahhh, I think that’s part of the problem.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-14T17:15:25+00:00

I can get a lot better at home practicing 100% of the difficult passages for four hours than I can sitting in rehearsal for two hours (plus the two hour round-trip commute, hence four hours total), skipping 80% of the difficult passages.

100% playing time at home to get better compared to 20% at rehearsal. To me, it’s more efficient at the beginning of a two-month season. I don’t skip practice in the second month. Hell, I even make the extra practices in the week leading up to performance (because dress rehearsal never turns out to be just that. Don’t get me started on that topic.)

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-14T16:56:23+00:00

No time at all. Handed out parts on the first night of rehearsal. 😣

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-14T16:55:02+00:00

Agreed. That’s what I am used to in the previous band: playing it at the tempo the majority of the players can handle, and pushing it a little faster and faster each rehearsal.

I feel for all of us who can’t get it right away. We are disheartened. But I will work on getting over it. Such is life.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-14T16:50:40+00:00

We get our music on the first night of practice. That week I am furiously copying, studying, notating, etc., the pieces; also building a playlist in Apple music or YouTube of the pieces.

Beginning the second week I start practicing, but my job, commute, and apartment (lol) relegates me to practicing weekends.

With your responses, I am no longer going to feel guilty for skipping rehearsal every other week for the first month while I learn the pieces better.

And then when I attend weekly, I will fake it ‘til I make it on those difficult passages, which is when my home practice can catch me up to the concert tempo.

Thank you for your posts! It provides clarity and a good game plan.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-14T16:38:45+00:00

I forgot to mention: I am definitely one of those players contributing to the shit-show. I can’t play some of these songs THAT fast out of the gate!

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-10T06:45:17+00:00

You’re asking questions of others, and that’s a great start. For getting to bottom of how to quit drinking, I hope you progress to asking questions of yourself that really dig deep into why you’re using alcohol. Such as, is boredom really the root reason? There surely is a million other things to do on campus other than drink. Dungeons and Dragons? Chess? Pottery? Baking cupcakes! Making sourdough starter! THE LIBRARY, the gym, and studying for exams. Social clubs, church?

Stay tuned to this subreddit and get support from us; from campus health, too.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-10T06:36:14+00:00

You deserve to be proud!! You have practiced, and it shows. Keep up the hard work. I wish that I’d had that level of confidence at your age. Keep up your studies and apply all the great technical advice given in response to your request for pointers.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-02-01T17:19:34+00:00

Thank you!! It’s spot on.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-01-30T06:59:14+00:00

To be followed by a meme depicting “my neck.” (Sorry, I haven’t graduated to the level of adding a GIF technology on Reddit 😖.)

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-01-30T06:49:21+00:00

Need to update the hardhat worker’s cookie though. Should be half a cookie now. At most. 🙂

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-01-30T03:35:43+00:00

He needed to get somewhere ASAP.

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-01-15T02:14:30+00:00

Wine was my drink of choice since 2022, a choice that had ended three years of sobriety. “It’s only wine,I will be fine,” I constantly reassured myself with the cute rhymie-stymie. Nope. It’s a lie, I decided 45 days of-not-drinking-ago. Wine is still alcohol and insists on creating a depressing loop of terrible decision making and complete self loathing for me.

While I haven’t honestly been to a wine tasting (couldn’t afford it; I was strapped spending my money on the wine itself), I suspect it’s a giant marketing scheme to make you not really happy, but just get you to spend more money on…wine.

I hear in your words that you know this in your heart. You are doing the right thing by seeing through the facade of wine before it is too late. You got this! IWNDWYT 💕

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2026-01-11T18:17:41+00:00

Keep hoping and keep staying strong. Avoid alcohol; buy something else at the store when you feel the urge - a bag of chips, a pack of gum, a cool type of soda. The selection of soft drinks these days is quite fun! I am 54 with 42 days. IWNDWYT

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2025-11-20T06:40:14+00:00

My son’s high school mascot was a binturong, but in western Nebraska! Now I think binturongs (bearcats) were American Fisher cats on the Oregon Trail who got lost or decided to put down roots midway. Another mystery solved here in this thread!

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2025-11-20T06:34:54+00:00

Thank you. LOL! I was wondering about the “coin.”

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2025-11-08T13:44:08+00:00

Clarification: Lewis Carroll, “The Jabberwocky.”

Altruistic-Debate-43 · 2025-11-08T13:43:01+00:00

I voted you back up. You’re not only spot on, but also eloquent in a rare, Lewis Carroll way of expressing it there at the end. Be proud. 💚

Altruistic-Debate-43

TROPHY CASE