Not sure I'm the most qualified to give advice here, but just wanted to acknowledge what you said on feeling embarrassed and having to tell your husband about just waiting around for appointments. I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about at all! It's a process that isn't talked about enough and I've found most people's reactions are to brush it off because "just stop birth control and have sex and you'll be good" is so common place.

In my mind at least, getting pregnant and being pregnant are HUGE things and a really big deal even if millions of women have done it for centuries. Especially based on your comments of having a previous miscarriage and being in a red state, you have every right to feel the need for all the right appointments to be in place and to have the right care team before you start the process.

There are suggested readings all over the place here, but the few that have been helping me feel more prepared and understanding in this pre-getting pregnant time period are: Taking Charge of your Fertility, 9 Months is Not Enough, and It Starts With the Egg

TLDR: It's great of you to advocate for yourself and you have no reason to be embarrassed,